Does Your Teen Residential Therapy?

You have finally reached your wit's end.  It has come to a point where you have exhausted all your local resources.  The one on one therapy is no longer working, if it ever did.  The fact is, it is a fight to even get your teen to attend a session.  If you do get them to attend - how many times to they actually manipulate the therapist to actually believe there isn't an issue at all...... in some instances the blame can come right back to the parent!

Yes, manipulation of a teen is priceless.  They are the best at what they do.  However now is the time for the parent to be the best at what they are - a parent.

You decided it is time for residential therapy and you jump on the Internet and you start with Google by typing in key words.  Teen help, struggling teens, defiant teens, teen help programs, military schools, reform schools, troubled teens, rebellious teens, etc.

What you will find is a list of marketing arms that are very quick to "sell you a group of programs" rather than discuss what is best for your individual teenager.  I always caution parents to beware of these toll free numbers and marketing arms that you have no clue where you are calling and who is connected to what.

I once was at my wit's end - my story is what prompted me to created an organization to help educate parents about the big business of "teen help".  Take a few minutes to read - "A Parent's True Story" and you will realize that although you absolutely need to get your son or daughter help, you also need to take the time to do your research.

I have listed some "Do's and Don'ts" when searching -  these are some great helpful hints for parents.  This is such a major emotional and financial decision that I encourage to read through my website and learn as much as you can before making a decision.  I firmly believe in residential programs - I just also believe you need to select the right one for your child's needs.

Visit www.helpyourteens.com for more information.

Coping with Back to School Stress and Anxiety

For most kids, going back to school is an exciting and fun time, but for some, it is nothing but dreadful. Even if a child isn’t experiencing bullying or academic trouble, the social factor of public education can be downright daunting for students who have social anxiety. This is especially true for high school students.

Teens with social anxiety are usually very reluctant to go to school in the morning and are always looking for ways to avoid both small and large group social situations. Common physical symptoms of anxiety include a fast heart rate, excessive sweating, hyperventilation, dizziness, stomach pain and crying. Most kids with social anxiety also suffer from low self-esteem and have an irrational fear of being watched and judged by others.

If you believe your child is experiencing back-to-school anxiety, you should ask them to open up about their feelings and fears. Anxiety comes in many forms and shouldn’t be ignored. Some children may just need a quick pep talk before school while others may need to seek professional counseling for their fears.
Although social anxiety is a phobia that takes time to conquer, parents can help their children cope with their fears by using the following four tips.

1. Teach relaxation techniques: Techniques include deep breathing, positive visualization and meditation. In addition to these proximate techniques that can be used at the onset of anxious feelings, encourage your child to also do some form of exercise every day. Exercise is great for your overall health, but it is especially good for reducing anxiety and stress.
2. Help them hone a talent: To help with self-esteem, encourage your teenager to focus on their strengths. Whether it is a subject in school, an artistic or athletic ability or something else, children understand their individual value better when they realize and perfect their unique talents.
3. Be their support, not their crutch: Kids with social anxiety often turn to their parents for comfort and reassurance. Many children with social phobia spend most of their time at home after school, because being at home with mom and dad provides a blanket of comfort for them. While this may seem like easy parenting (a child at home is a child protected from trouble), it is not healthy behavior, especially for a teenager. Encourage your teenager to tackle their phobias by spending more time with their friends or participating in an after school activity. If they showcase any concerns, tell them that you know they will enjoy doing something different.
4. Encourage part-time work: If your teenager is old enough to work, encourage them to go get an after school, part-time job. A job will teach them how to meet new people and how to work in a team. They will also learn about responsibility, business and customer service and become exposed to real-world situations that may help them realize the irrationality of their fears.

As stated before, social anxiety is not a phobia that can be fixed overnight. For some people, it can take years to overcome their fears. However, parents can guide their teens down the path to an anxiety-free life by recognizing the problem and implementing techniques that dissolve their phobias.

Contributor: Melissa Miller spent many years working odd jobs before finally admitting it was time to get her www.associatedegreeonline.com. Now, she has sworn her life to helping others do the same by explaining the often tricky world of online education. She welcomes your questions and comments at melissamiller831@gmail.com.

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National Prescription Drug TAKE-BACK INITIATIVE: April 28th

Clean out your medicine cabinets before your kids do!

Now available online, the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day collection site locator allows consumers to search for a convenient location to dispose of unneeded medications, including prescription pain pills and other controlled substance medications, on Saturday, April 28, 2012. On this day, from 10 AM to 2 PM, thousands of DEA-coordinated collection sites will be available across the country, and consumers are encouraged to use this unique opportunity to safely and legally dispose of any unneeded pills, including controlled substance medications, as these pills can only be accepted for disposal when law enforcement is present.

DEA reminds consumers that the take-back service is free and anonymous, with no questions asked. Sites will accept tablets, capsules, and all other solid dosage forms of unwanted medication. Personal information may be blacked out on prescription bottles, or medications may be emptied from the bottles into the bins provided at the events. Check the DEA collection site locator often, as new locations will be added until April 28, 2012.

Road to Recovery March 2012

You may know someone that needs the road to recovery, but unless they ask for directions it is likely they are not ready to get on the road.


Road to Recovery March 2012 is here!


We know that almost 1 in 10 Americans struggle with a substance abuse disorder and 1 in 5 Americans have a mental illness.  Treatment and recovery are a pathway forward.

The National Recovery Month (Recovery Month) campaign offers help and hope not only for individuals receiving recovery services and in recovery but also for families, loved ones, and friends. The benefits of treatment and recovery-oriented services and supports in behavioral health ripple out across entire communities throughout our Nation, proving there are effective treatments and that people do recover.

As the Road to Recovery series kicks off its 12th season, this episode will highlight the many accomplishments of the 2011 Recovery Month campaign and look forward to a successful September 2012 Recovery Month.

Visit http://www.recoverymonth.gov for more information.

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Parent Peer Groups

The Parent Peer Group (PPG) is an educational support system for parents.  PPGs create fun, frequent opportunities for parents to share thoughts, activities and philosophies on "what works".  

PPGs are guided by the Informed Families' Parent Pilot Kit, a science-based, proactive notebook designed to educate and involve parents of pre-teens and teens in creating a safe, healthy, drug-free lifestyle. PPGs can be organized at a school, house of worship, home or restaurant where parents can be comfortable and speak freely.   
The initial four sessions will focus on four key topics called agendas:

1. Brain Development - How the teen brain develops and the harmful affects of drugs and alcohol.
2. Harmful Media - Understanding media (TV, Internet, Radio, Print) messages and changing their impact in your home.
3. Social Norms - Identifying and changing social norms affecting your family.
4. Building Parent Peer Groups - How to create and expand the positive impact of Parent Peer Groups in your community.

The goal of a Parent Peer Group is to provide parents the skills to set boundaries and monitor their children's behavior by creating an informal support system with their children's friends parents and in their children's schools. By fostering communication between parents, Parent Peer Groups help parents maintain a healthy environment for their children, keeping them safe, healthy, and drug-free.

See what others are saying about the Media Literacy Agenda.  View the new video version of the Parent Pilot Kit Media Literacy Agenda online now!

If you would like to start a PPG in your neighborhood or just find out more information about attending one, call Informed Families at 305-856-4886.

Attend a Parent Peer Group online.  Informed Families is working to expand the Parent Network.  Look for opportunities to participate in online parent forums and more video based versions of our Parent Pilot Kit (PPK) coming in 2011.
 
 
 

Stop Drug Abuse with Teens: Red Ribbon Campaign

Did you know:  Children of parents who talk to their teens regularly about drugs are 42% less likely to use drugs than those who don’t, yet only a quarter of teens report having these conversations.
 
SAMHSA invites you to participate in the 26th annual Red Ribbon Week.

Red Ribbon Week—the oldest and largest drug prevention program in the Nation—is a way for people and communities to unite and take a visible stand against drugs. This year’s theme, “It’s Up to Me To Be Drug Free,” reminds us that we each share individual responsibility in creating a drug-free environment.

WHAT IS RED RIBBON WEEK?
It is an ideal way for people and communities to unite and take a visible stand against drugs. Show your personal commitment to a drug-free lifestyle through the symbol of the Red Ribbon, October 23 – 31st.

WHY?
The Red Ribbon Campaign was started when drug traffickers in Mexico City murdered DEA agent Kiki Camarena  in 1985. This began the continuing tradition of displaying Red Ribbons as a symbol of intolerance towards the use of drugs. The mission of the Red Ribbon Campaign is to present a unified and visible commitment towards the creation of a DRUG-FREE AMERICA.

WHO?
The National Family Partnership is the national sponsor of the Red Ribbon Campaign. We are helping citizens across the state come together to keep children, families and communities safe, healthy and drug-free, through parent training, networking and sponsoring the National Red Ribbon Campaign.

WHY SUPPORT THE NATIONAL THEME?
A theme unifies each year’s campaign and helps to broadcast one message creating a tipping point to change behavior.

HOW?
Plan a Red Ribbon celebration. Order and display Red Ribbon materials with the National Red Ribbon Theme.  Proceeds from the sale of Red Ribbon theme merchandise helps support prevention programs across America. Order  for your family, students, staff, patients, employees and customers and encourage them to wear the Red Ribbon symbol  during Red Ribbon Week, October 23rd-31st.
Sponsored by National Family Partnership.

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Sibling Bullying: When Bullying Starts at Home

Order today!

Girl In The Water: Bullying Starts At Home. 

The research link between bullying and sibling abuse can’t be overlooked

By Nancy Kilgore, M.S.

Bullying in America is at epidemic levels, often starting in the American home. Each year, 19 million children are abused in their homes by their own siblings. Nearly two million children use a weapon as a means of resolving a conflict with a sibling. Siblings commit 10 percent of the murders that occur in the American family.

Research has shown a solid link between bullying and sibling abuse. Children who are abused by their siblings are often targets to bullies and often become bullies. The terrifying world of sibling abuse and bullying is exposed in this book. The author’s account is a “first” in the nation.
It is a brilliantly written portrayal that offers a rare and riveting glimpse of what lies beneath the surface of millions of children’s and adult’s lives. The author’s first bully was in her home…her own sister. The author leads the reader on a journey back to her childhood home—where she is confronted with her young dreams and fears, her familial bonds, and the profound, lingering influences that sibling abuse and bullying had on her adulthood and parenting. Resembling the scariest fairy tale, the author’s personal story is narrated with a singular devotion to re-telling her experiences, no matter what the cost.

Like a fairytale, it provides lessons for us all concerning the tragedies and experiences of victims of bullying and sibling abuse. It grips the reader’s imagination with the same unrelenting moral force that fairy tales have for children. This unique story breaks the seal to what has been hidden in so many American homes…sibling abuse. It is a hopeful story for millions of children and adults. This book is comprehensive and has a bibliography, resources and informational strategies for parents and adult survivors.

About the Author:

Nancy Fox-Kilgore, MS is a survivor of sibling abuse and bullying. She holds a Master’s degree from the University of Oregon. Her B.A. and teaching credentials were received from Sacramento State University. Nancy is a leading expert on Bullying, Sibling Abuse, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She is the author of EVERY EIGHTEEN SECONDS: PERSONAL JOURNEY INTO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and THE SOURCEBOOK FOR WORKING WITH BATTERED WOMEN.

Nancy is a consultant for the United States Department of Victim's of Crime. She is endorsed for her trainings by state domestic violence coalitions, associations, and organizations. Nancy is a continuing education professor for various universities throughout the United States. Nancy consults and trains from the background of a researcher and a trauma survivor. She enjoys helping survivors of bullying and sibling abuse to overcome fears and move to the unconditional truth of their true selves. She is a workshop facilitator, stress consultant/ life coach and lives in Sacramento, California. 

Learn more here.
Order on Amazon!
Watch powerful video.

Parents' Universal Resource Experts Joins Facebook

Are you struggling with a teen that was always a good kid – now making some horrible choices?

Are they hanging out with kids that are questionable?

Did you get a report card that was less than acceptable?

Have you seen evidence of them smoking or using other substances?  Maybe drinking?

Don’t be parent in denial! You are only prolonging them getting the help they may need.  You don’t want to see them get arrested – you want to see them get back on a positive road to a bright future.

Join us on Facebook - and LIKE our community of professionals, parents and educators that want to help.

Also visit www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation.

April is Alcohol Awareness Month

Alcohol Awareness Month, as declared by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), aims to raise awareness about the seriousness of alcohol dependency and alcoholism, while recognizing the serious problem of alcohol abuse. It is an ideal time to educate yourself and loved ones about the dangers of alcohol abuse.

Alcohol use is an issue of concern in St. Johns County for both young adults and those under 21 years of age. According to the 2010 Florida Youth Substance Abuse Survey, alcohol is the most commonly used drug among St. Johns County students with 29.4% of surveyed middle and high school students reporting the use of alcohol in the past 30 days. While this number has decreased 7.6% since 2000, it is still a topic of much unease.
“I believe alcohol awareness month is important in getting the message out to young people to ‘think before you drink,’ think about the consequences, and think about the long term effects of alcohol abuse,” said Ponte Vedra Beach resident and recovering alcoholic, Mark Tondreault.

Tondreault shares his story of life after a liver transplant and heart valve replacement, which were the result of years of heavy drinking, with schools, clubs and organizations. He stresses the dangers of alcohol abuse, how easy it is to become addicted to alcohol, and how alcohol can slowly affect a person’s health.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) reports that nearly 14 million Americans, one in every 13 adults, abuses alcohol or are alcohol dependent. In addition, fewer than 25% of adults and fewer than 10% of youth who need treatment receive it in a given year.

PACT Prevention Coalition of St. Johns County is dedicated to making St. Johns County a healthy substance-free community for our youth through prevention, advocacy, choices and teamwork. For more information about PACT Prevention Coalition of St. Johns County call (904) 829-6261 or visit www.pactprevention.org.

PACT has just released KNOW THE LAW, a guide for youth and parents.  Download it today.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer parent.

Read more.

Learn more at www.TeenHelpAdvice.com if you are considering outside help for your teen.

Door of Hope for Teens

There is help, only a call away.

Door of Hope 4 Teens is a Christian-based free counseling resource for young women and teens who struggle with self-injury. We provide help via a toll free support line, instant messaging, e-mail and a local youth group. Our team of counselors rotate around set posted hours to pray, encourage, help and direct young people towards recovery through the saving knowledge and power of Jesus Christ.

Our aim is to get teens the help they need in their local communities. This help may come in the form of linking young people with a local church or para-church organization which will help the young people overcome self injury on an ongoing basis.  Door of Hope will call for you and contact local pastors and youth pastors in order to involve you with a church and/or youth group.  We believe the local church is what God has ordained to help people. Likewise, Door of Hope provides referrals to hospital and mental heath professionals in your local area to help those who need crisis intervention and medical treatment.

Door of Hope 4 Teens provides additional help by mailing out at no cost to you: Bibles, books and media resources to help teens better understand self-injury and to help them learn healthy Godly coping mechanisms to overcome their struggle.

Door of Hope 4 Teens gathers young people for spiritual retreats, youth meetings, and seminars to help young people on a more personal one-on-one level.  On a case by case basis, Door of Hope may help in providing transportation costs, housing, food, and other related costs to get people to these meetings.

Are you looking for private residential therapy?  Visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Teen Drinking: Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving

It the holidays. Parties, celebrating and simply having fun.  All of this is fantastic, but you have to remember that being safe is a priority.  Drunk or impaired driving killed nearly 12,000 people in 2008.  That's one person every 45 minutes. That makes it everyone's problem.

Buzzed driving is drunk driving. Getting behind the wheel after even just one too many drinks can lead to disaster.

Show your support to end buzzed driving by pledging to make good decisions by not driving under the influence of alcohol.

Take the time to share the pledge with others and with your help, we can end buzzed driving.

Underage drinking is a major concern, not only for parents of these teens, but for the risk it puts drivers at.  Parents need to set an example to their teens as well as talk to them about the dangers of drinking and driving.  Even if it is only one or two drinks - driving is a major responsibility and not one to be taken lightly.
This is not about not having fun and celebrating the holidays with friends and family, this is about having a designated driver.

Send a Holiday Buzzed eCard to your friends today!  Help spread the word to stay safe this holiday season.
Zingo Fort Lauderdale, a fully insured designated driving service available in nearly two dozen markets nationwide, recently began offering services for residents and visitors alike across Broward County.
Are you outside of Broward County, visit Drinking and Driving Prevention.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens!

Read more.

Wilderness Programs: Short Term Programs - Short Term Results (And Very Costly!)

You have a teen that is driving you crazy.  You have a teen that is experimenting, if not using drugs on a regular basis.  You have teen that has changed peer groups - and not for the better.  You have a teen that has disengaged from the family.  You have a teen that is defiant, belligerent and can become violent.  You have a teen that doesn't appreciate all they have and all you have sacrificed for them?  You are at your wit's end!

Is it time to have an intervention?  What is best to insure that your teen gets back on a positive road to have that bright future you always wanted for them?

Let's review some choices to get help:


Wilderness Therapeutic Programs:  Short term program, short term results, usually zero academics, extremely expensive and as many teens state they have great experiences, it is usually never enough to make lasting positive changes.

• The concept: Remove the kids from their comforts of home.  Get them to reflect on themselves from within. 
• Thought:  Wouldn't it be wise to find one program that offers a well-rounded program including removing them from their comforts of home, offering them an education as well as encouraging them through enrichment programs?

Boot Camps:  Thankfully many have been closed in the state of Florida.  This in and of itself speaks volumes.  As parents see it as a way to punish their kids for their negative behavior, using punitive and primitive measures may cause more anger and resentment toward the person that placed them there.

• The concept: Teach your child a lesson, and hope they learn to appreciate and respect you.
• Thought:  Again, finding a sound program that offers positive enrichment, academics as well as trained staff to help determine where the negative behavior is stemming from.

Jail:  Is this ever a good option?  Not really, and although juvenile records are sealed, according to law enforcement, what happens when your teen applies for a job in their 20's and that record, although it doesn't state the charges, but is pinged by your teen being finger printed?  Did you consider the friends your teen will make in jail?

• The Concept: Show your teen the consequences of breaking the law.  Hopefully scaring them straight so they turn around their behavior.
• Thought: Get your teen the right help that instills positive reinforcement, continuing education and work on family conflict with an outside counselor.

Residential Therapy: Finally, a way to address negative behavior in a positive direction. Our teens need consistency in treatment.  Starting and finishing with the same therapist, structure and program that builds your teen back up to making the better choices.  Some parents are being convinced that using a short term program such as Wilderness Programs will prepare them for a residential program, however if you find the right program from the start, it serves the same purpose as a Wilderness Program (of course saving about $10K-20K at the same time).  Choosing a residential therapy program does remove your child from their comforts of their home.  It also gives them an opportunity to reflect and get back to basics.

• Concept: It took longer than 6-8 weeks to get to the place your teen is at, it will take at least 6-9 months to get your child back.
• Thought: Take your time and find the best program for you and your family both emotionally and financially.  Consider that short term programs are like band-aids - they do peel off fairly quickly.

With Lindsay Lohan at 24 years old going to jail, it will serve to sober her up, however the rehab is what will help her to remain sober. Sadly, this may all be a moot point since at 24 years old, she is considered an adult and can just go through the motions - after all, she is court appointed.

Don't wait for your teen to be over 18, get them help while you still have the ability and control.

Back to School Diasters: Out-of-Control Teens

Defiant Teens are children that have no respect for authority and mainly disrespect their parents. 

Parents' Universal Resource Experts have found that children that have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) are very confrontational and need to have life their own way. A child does not have to be diagnosed ODD to be defiant. It is a trait that some teens experience through their puberty years. Defiant teens, disrespectful teens, angry teens and rebellious teens can affect the entire family.

An effective way to work with defiant teens is through anger and stress management classes. If you have a local therapist*, ask them if they offer these classes. Most will have them along with support groups and other beneficial classes. In today's teens we are seeing that defiant teens have taken it to a new level. Especially if your child is also ADD/ADHD, the ODD combination can literally pull a family apart.

You will find yourself wondering what you ever did to deserve the way your child is treating you. It is very sad, yet very real. Please know that many families are experiencing this feeling of destruction within their home. Many wonder "why" and unfortunately each child is different with a variety of issues they are dealing with. Once a child is placed into proper treatment, the healing process can begin.

If you feel your teen is in need of further Boarding School, Residential Therapy or Program Options, please complete our Information Request Form.

Learn more at www.helpyourteens.com. 

Sue Scheff: Teens Helping Hurting Teens - To Save A Life

TO SAVE A LIFE is now in over 400 screens in theaters nationwide. To Save A Life is a powerful Indie movie about the real-life challenges of teens and their choices. But it's more than just a movie-it's a feature-length film with follow-up opportunities like a youth group curriculum and a teen devotional centered around the biblical concept that we're never more like a Higher Power than when we are reaching out to the hurting and lonely. Watch trailer below.

At some point, every teen has to decide: "What's my life going to be about?" To Save A Life dares to bring that question into their world, encouraging them to answer it with boldness and honesty.

ABOUT TO SAVE A LIFE

An all-star athlete and his girlfriend find their lives spinning out of control when Jake loses a childhood friend. Help comes when he reaches out to others who are hurting, and he realizes some people are just dying to be heard.

The movie asks...

• How far would you go?
• How much would you risk?
• How hard would you fight...TO SAVE A LIFE

To Save A Life has also created a website for resources for parents. Teen depression is very real. Parents need to be aware of the warning signs and symptoms.

There are several symptoms of teen depression. Among them are:

• Withdrawing from family and friends
• Losing interest in social and extracurricular activities
• Displaying a lack of energy, Feeling tired most of the time
• Anxiety, Irritability, Anger,Feelings of sadness for much of the time
• Significant weight fluctuations
• Sleep pattern changes
• Physical pains and aches, or sickness, even though there is nothing physically wrong
• Indifference about the future
• Uncharacteristic pessimism,Guilty feelings
• Lowering self-esteem
• Suicidal thoughts

There are two main types of teen depression. These include:

• Major depression: This type of teen depression is of short duration, although it is quite severe. It is possible to have a bout of severe depression, feel fine for a few months (or even years), and then have another bout. For teens, though, even one bout of severe depression can feel as though it will never end and prompt a suicide attempt.
• Dysthymia: Dysthymia lasts much longer than major depression, and the feelings are not as severe. Some teens have this low level depression plague them for years without having it diagnosed. This type of depression can also lead to teen suicide if the teenager becomes discouraged with never feeling happy.

Another type of teen depression has to do with life changes. It is called adjustment disorder with depressed mood, and it can be the result of the death of a loved one, divorce, moving to a different town, or even changing schools. This, too, can lead to teen suicide if the teenager feels hopeless, and that the feeling will never end.

This film helps educate parents, teachers, and others that work with today's teenagers as well as will bring an awareness to teens and allowing them to know that we do care. Growing up today is not easy; Peer pressure, drug abuse, gangs, trends, sex and more is what many kids are facing on a daily basis.

Currently To Save a Life is playing at Regal Cypress Creek Station 16 in Ft. Lauderdale. For more information and theaters near you, visit http://www.tosavealifemovie.com/tickets/ .

Watch the trailer. Be an educated parent - you will have safer and healthier teens. Read more on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Troubled Teens and Teen Help

Are you at your wit’s end?

Are you experiencing any of the following situations or feeling at a complete loss or a failure as a parent? You are not alone and by being a proactive parent you are taking the first step towards healing and bringing your family back together.

• Is your teen escalating out of control?

• Is your teen becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful?

• Is your teen manipulative? Running your household?

• Are you hostage in your own home by your teen’s negative behavior?

• Is your teen angry, violent or rage outbursts?

• Is your teen verbally abusive?

• Is your teen rebellious, destructive and withdrawn?

• Is your teen aggressive towards others or animals?

• Is your teen using drugs and/or alcohol?

• Does your teen belong to a gang?

• Do they frequently runaway or leave home for extended periods of time?

• Has their appearance changed – piercing, tattoo’s, inappropriate clothing?

• Has your teen stopped participating in sports, clubs, church and family functions? Have they become withdrawn from society?

• Is your teen very intelligent yet not working up to their potential? Underachiever? Capable of doing the work yet not interested in education.

• Does he/she steal?

• Is your teen sexually active?

• Teen pregnancy?

• Is your teen a good kid but making bad choices?

• Undesirable peers? Is your teen a follower or a leader?

• Low self esteem and low self worth?

• Lack of motivation? Low energy?

• Mood Swings? Anxiety?

• Teen depression that leads to negative behavior?

Eating Disorders? Weight loss? Weight gain?

• Self-Harm or Self Mutilation?

• High School drop-out?

• Suspended or Expelled from school?

• Suicidal thoughts or attempts?

• ADD/ADHD/LD/ODD?

• Is your teen involved in legal problems? Have they been arrested?• Juvenile Delinquent?

• Conduct Disorder?

• Bipolar?

• Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?

Does your teen refuse to take accountability and always blame others for their mistakes?

• Do you feel hopeless, helpless and powerless over what options you have as a parent? Are you at your wit’s end?

Does any of the above sound familiar? Many parents are at their wit’s end by the time they contact us, but the most important thing many need to know is you are not alone. There is help but the parent needs to be proactive and educate themselves in getting the right help.
Many try local therapy, which is always recommended, but in most cases, this is a very temporary band-aid to a more serious problem. One or two hours a week with a therapist is usually not enough to make the major changes that need to be done.

If you feel you are at your wit’s end and are considering outside resources, please contact us. http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtmlAn informed parent is an educated parent and will better prepare to you to make the best decision for your child. It is critical not to place your child out of his/her element. In many cases placing a teen that is just starting to make bad choices into a hard core environment may cause more problems. Be prepared – do your homework.

Many parents are in denial and keep hoping and praying the situation is going to change. Unfortunately in many cases, the problems usually escalate without immediate attention. Don’t be parents in denial; be proactive in getting your teen the appropriate help they may need. Whether it is local therapy or outside the home assistance, be in command of the situation before it spirals out of control and you are at a place of desperation. At wit’s end is not a pleasant place to be, but so many of us have been there.

Finding the best school or program for your child is one of the most important steps a parent does. Remember, your child is not for sale – don’t get drawn into high pressure sales people, learn from my mistakes. Read my story at http://www.aparentstruestory.com/for the mistakes I made that nearly destroyed my daughter.

In searching for schools and programs we look for the following:

• Helping Teens - not Harming them

• Building them up - not Breaking them down

• Positive and Nurturing Environments - not Punitive

• Family Involvement in Programs - not Isolation from the teen

• Protect Children - not Punish them

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/ for more information.

Sue Scheff: Teen and Youth Gang Statistics

Youth Gang Statistics

Youth gang activity is a significant problem in the United States.

The following are statistics related to youth violence and gang activities:

•14 percent of teens are gang members (according to a survey in Denver)
•89 percent of serious violent crimes committed by teens were committed by gang members
•Gang members are 60 percent more likely to be killed
•The average age of a gang member is 17 to 18 years old
•25 percent of gang members are between the age of 15 and 17
•Police reports indicate that 6 percent of gang members are female and that 39 percent of gangs have female members

•Of female gang members:

◦78 percent have been in a gang fight
◦65 percent carry a weapon for protection
◦39 percent have attacked someone with a weapon

•Youth gang activity by area type:

◦72 percent of large cities
◦33 percent of small cities
◦56 percent of suburban counties
◦24 percent of rural counties
◦51 percent overall

•Youth gang activity by region:

◦74 percent in the West
◦52 percent in the Midwest
◦49 percent in the South
◦31 percent in the Northeast
◦51 percent overall

Source for information: The Rochester Youth Development Study and the Denver study

Sue Scheff: What do you do if your teen is cutting?

If you discover that your teen is cutting, there are several important keys to remember. First and foremost, approach your teen with a level head. Address your teen calmly and supportively. Do not react angrily or upset your teen in any way. Experts warn that overreacting or reacting loudly or angrily can often push your teen further away and increase the cutting or self injuring behaviors. Your teen needs to know you are open to hearing what she has to say and getting her the help she needs. You should also tell your teen that you are not upset with her, love her, and know she is in a lot of pain.

Counseling for a teen that cuts is crucial. It can often take many years of therapy before your teen is willing or able to uncover the reasons she cuts herself. Schools, pediatricians and emergency rooms can be extremely helpful at providing resources for teens that cut. Often there are local support groups for parents who feel guilty or unsure of how to deal with a teen that cuts. A great resource specifically for self injurers and their families is S.A.F.E (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives, an organization dedicated treating victims of self abuse.

Learn more here.

Sue Scheff: Why Kids Steal

Source: Connect with Kids

“[Teens] shoplift all the time. They do think about the consequences, but they don’t think of it as being too major until they get caught, of course.”

– Ryan, 17 years old

The new shoplifting numbers are out and they are staggering: 35 billion dollars in losses and 92 percent of all retailers were victims, up 8 percent over 2007. An estimated one in four teens has shoplifted. Why they do it and what you can do to prevent your child from stealing.

A man sees a compact disc he likes, so he hides it in his pants. A girl stuffs something she wants in her purse, and still another pretends to try on a shirt, but behind dressing room doors, she steals it.

All of these cases are re-enactments played out for television news cameras. But teens say that in real life, shoplifting happens all of the time.

“Yeah, a lot,” 17-year-old Nicole smiles coyly.

Ryan, 17, says teens are more likely to steal, ”clothes, necklaces or stuff that’s easily fittable.”

So why do some teens shoplift?

“Because they don’t want to pay for it,” explains Keke, 14.

Often, the reasons vary. Some children steal because of peer pressure, to get attention, to be rebellious or simply because it’s exciting.

“Part of what makes something thrilling is knowing that it’s forbidden, knowing that you are not supposed to do it, knowing that you could get in trouble if you get caught,” explains psychologist Dr. Gary Santavicca.

But in some ways, he says, the reasons don’t matter.

“The last thing we want to do is communicate to the youngsters that having reasons, having motives, having excuses, having a charming manner is going to get them out of the obligation to respect other people’s property; to be concerned about what is harmful to others, what is illegal and what is wrong,” Dr. Santavicca says.

He says parents must act as a moral compass for very young children, but older kids need to rely on their own conscience.

“We want that voice to come from within,” Dr. Santavicca says.

Short of that, experts say that parents should monitor their children’s activities and take a mental inventory of the items they possess. New, unexplained merchandise may signal that a child is shoplifting. If stealing becomes habit, professional help may be needed.

Tips for Parents

Who shoplifts? According to the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC), teens do. Experts say that many teens want to see if they can “get away with it.” They often rationalize their criminal behavior, using excuses like, “This is a big store, they can afford it,” “Taking this item won’t really hurt anyone” or “Stores just write it off as a business expense.” But the truth is a storekeeper loses money each time something is stolen and must raise prices to make up the loss. Shoplifting is a major economic problem in the United States. Consider these facts from the NCPC:

■Shoplifters steal an estimated $25 million in merchandise from stores each day.
■One-fourth of apprehended shoplifters are teens between the ages of 13 and 17 years old.
■Most shoplifters are “amateurs,” not professional thieves.
■Most shoplifters are customers who steal frequently from places where they regularly shop.
■Some shoplifters are professional thieves who make their living by stealing and selling goods.
■Drug addicts shoplift to support their habit.
■Desperate people steal because they need food, but they make up only a very small number of shoplifters.
■Kleptomaniacs (who have a mental disorder that makes it difficult to overcome their urge to steal) make up a tiny minority of shoplifters.
The NCPC says that many teens shoplift on a dare, thinking their friends will call them “chicken” if they don’t accept the challenge. Others steal for a thrill. The Nemours Foundation says that 70% of the time, nonprofessional shoplifters don’t go into a store with the intention of stealing – they simply see the opportunity to take something and do so.

Is your child shoplifting? You should be suspicious if you notice the following signs:

■Your child suddenly comes into possession of extra money but has no job to account for the added wealth.
■Your child possesses luxuries like an expensive new CD player or a new watch and can’t explain how he or she obtained the merchandise.
■Your child becomes secretive about what he or she does during certain times of the day (like after school.)
■You child buys expensive gifts for family and friends and can’t explain how he or she can afford them.

The Center for Effective Parenting (CEP) suggests the following methods to prevent the onset of stealing behavior in your child:

■Discuss and explain why stealing is wrong: Make sure that your child knows why stealing is wrong. Point out that stealing means taking something that rightfully belongs to someone else.
■Teach ownership: It is a good idea for parents to begin teaching their children early on what ownership means. Explain that people have a right to their own property and that it is wrong to take something that belongs to someone else.
■Teach appropriate ways of getting what one wants: Teach your child how to get what he or she wants without stealing. For example, suggest that your child ask for items he or she wants, save up money to buy the items he or she wants, etc.
■Model appropriate behavior: Set a good example for your child by asking before borrowing items, by not taking items that don’t belong to you and by being open and honest.
■Develop a close, open relationship with your child: Make every effort to communicate effectively with your child. Children who are close to their parents are much more likely to take on their parents’ beliefs and values than children who don’t have a close relationship with their parents.
■Praise and reward honest behavior: Make every attempt to praise your child for being honest. The more you praise your child’s honesty, the more likely he or she will continue to be honest in the future.
The CEP offers this advice to parents who are dealing with a child who has already committed an act of theft:

■Remain calm: If you discover that your child has stolen something, it is very important not to overreact. Keep in mind that all children take items that don’t belong to them at one time or another.
■Confront quickly: Just as it’s important not to overreact, it is also important not to under-react. Confront your child and deal with the stealing immediately. The longer stealing is allowed to continue uncorrected, the more difficult it is to correct later.
■Apply consequences: Decide what the specific consequences are for stealing, and apply them every time stealing occurs. Inform your child of these consequences before they are implemented.

References
■Center for Effective Parenting
■National Crime Prevention Council
■Nemours Foundation
■Shoplifters Alternative

Sue Scheff: National Runaway Switchboard

Between 1.6 and 2.8 million youth run away in a year. Our mission at the National Runaway Switchboard is to help keep America’s runaway and at-risk youth safe and off the streets. Our services are provided in part through funding from Family and Youth Services Bureau in the Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Call 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are a teenager who is thinking of running from home, if you have a friend who has run and is looking for help, or if you are a runaway ready to go home through our Home Free program. Call if you are a teacher looking for information to pass along to your students about alternatives to running from home.

Call if you care about a youth and want information on how you can help someone who may be at risk of running from home.
Our 24-hour crisis line has an experienced front-line team member ready to help you now. It’s anonymous, confidential and free. 1-800-RUNAWAY.

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse - Huffing and Sniffing

Source: Inhalant.org

WHAT IS INHALANT ABUSE?

Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of common products found in homes and communities with the purpose of "getting high." Inhalants are easily accessible, legal, everyday products.

When used as intended, these products have a useful purpose in our lives and enhance the quality of life, but when intentionally misused, they can be deadly. Inhalant Abuse is a lesser recognized form of substance abuse, but it is no less dangerous.

Inhalants are addictive and are considered to be "gateway" drugs because children often progress from inhalants to illegal drug and alcohol abuse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that one in five American teens have used Inhalants to get high.

Huffing, Sniffing, Dusting and BaggingInhalation is referred to as huffing, sniffing, dusting or bagging and generally occurs through the nose or mouth. Huffing is when a chemically soaked rag is held to the face or stuffed in the mouth and the substance is inhaled. Sniffing can be done directly from containers, plastic bags, clothing or rags saturated with a substance or from the product directly. With Bagging, substances are sprayed or deposited into a plastic or paper bag and the vapors are inhaled. This method can result in suffocation because a bag is placed over the individual's head, cutting off the supply of oxygen.

Other methods used include placing inhalants on sleeves, collars, or other items of clothing that are sniffed over a period of time. Fumes are discharged into soda cans and inhaled from the can or balloons are filled with nitrous oxide and the vapors are inhaled. Heating volatile substances and inhaling the vapors emitted is another form of inhalation. All of these methods are potentially harmful or deadly. Experts estimate that there are several hundred deaths each year from Inhalant Abuse, although under-reporting is still a problem.

What Products Can be Abused?

There are more than a 1,400 products which are potentially dangerous when inhaled, such as typewriter correction fluid, air conditioning coolant, gasoline, propane, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane, cooking spray, paint, and glue. Most are common products that can be found in the home, garage, office, school or as close as the local convenience store. The best advice for consumers is to read the labels before using a product to ensure the proper method is observed.

It is also recommended that parents discuss the product labels with their children at age-appropriate times. The following list represents categories of products that are commonly abused.

List of Products used for Huffing and Sniffing