Prudential Spirit of Community Awards: Teens Making a Difference in Their Community

Justin Churchman

As a parent, you strive to raise your children right and you teach them the value of giving.  Throughout the country and the world there are so many opportunities for youth to get involved in and help others. Over the past 16 years, The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards have been given to nearly 100,000 middle and high school students across the country for helping the less fortunate, promoting health and safety, protecting the environment, and many other volunteer activities. 

The search is now on to identify thousands more who have made meaningful contributions to their communities over the past 12 months, as the prestigious awards program kicks off its 17th year!

In honor of this school year’s application period, I had the chance to interview one of last year’s High School National Honorees, Justin Churchman.  Here is what Justin tells us about his experience and why he encourages more teens to get involved with this year’s awards program:

• What has being part of The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards meant to you?

Being surrounded by other community volunteers for several days was amazing! It give me an opportunity to share ideas, problems and concerns with other volunteers my age. It is inspirational and affirming, at the same time, to see what other teens are doing around the world and to realize that you are making an important contribution as well.

As a national winner, the experience has been incredible. When you look at the resumes of the teens from throughout the country, you see that kids are not letting anything hold them back - not age, gender, where they live, money and sometimes, adults! We are the generation who will be leading this country and programs like Prudential are making it clear that giving back to the community HAS to be a number one priority.

Application forms for the 2011 Prudential awards are available now online at www.prudential.com/community/spirit and the deadline is Nov. 1. I hope you will encourage your readers to apply!

• What is the number one reason you would encourage your peers to get involved?

The world is not going to be a better place if we don’t get involved. People don’t have to go to Mexico and build a house or to India and build a well. They can look in their neighborhoods for a senior citizen who can’t mow their grass anymore. They can walk down the street to a school where kids are working hard to learn to read and spend an hour helping. They can organize trash clean ups or clothing drives. And if everyone would just spend an hour or two, unselfishly being there for another person, they would be amazed at the changes inside them - and they will be back.

• Has this experience brought about new opportunities for you?

Being a Prudential winner introduced me to some of the most amazing teens in the country. I’ve met super achievers who are passionate about changing the world and I’ve met regular kids who are passionate about improving a specific part of their city. It has created networks where I can find support - both financial and physical - and a place I can turn to if I need motivation. I have also gotten some support for my favorite project, building houses in Mexico, at www.casasporcristo.org, and through my new online site https://www.giveback.org/pages/MyGiveBack/MyCauseIntro.aspx

• How did you go about selecting a volunteer project?

I built my first house when I was 12 by joining a school-sponsored project. I knew that was going to be my passion, so I just made sure I stayed involved with Casas por Cristo, the organization building them. In the early years it was tough, fund raising and organizing and convincing adults I could do the job, but now that I have proven myself it is easier. As for other projects, I just look around. Really, every community has the same needs. There is always trash to be picked up or families in need of food and clothing. There are always younger kids who need an older kid to hang out with or to help them with homework. I just see a need and do my best to find a solution.

• Why do you feel volunteering should be a part of every teen’s daily life?

I think every teen should be volunteering because we are the next generation of leaders. We learn what we need to in school to get a career and we learn from our families about relationships. We learn from spending time in the community what it takes to grow a community strong and how to find solutions to social problems. Of course, it makes you happy to volunteer, and it rewards you like nothing else can.

As Justin mentions, the search is now on to identify thousands more who have made meaningful contributions to their communities over the past 12 months, as the prestigious awards program kicks off its 17th year! 

Get out there and get involved by visiting the official website at http://spirit.prudential.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/spiritawards.

Bullying and Gay Youth

Bullying in Schools: Harassment Puts Gay Youth at Risk

While trying to deal with all the challenges of being a teenager, gay/ lesbian/ bisexual/ transgender (GBLT) teens additionally have to deal with harassment, threats, and violence directed at them on a daily basis. They hear anti-gay slurs such as “homo”, “faggot” and “sissy” about 26 times a day or once every 14 minutes.

Even more troubling, a study found that thirty-one percent of gay youth had been threatened or injured at school in the last year alone!

Their mental health and education, not to mention their physical well-being, are at-risk.

How is their mental health being affected?

• Gay and lesbian teens are at high risk because ‘their distress is a direct result of the hatred and prejudice that surround them,’ not because of their inherently gay or lesbian identity orientation.
• Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts.

How is their education being affected?

• Gay teens in U.S. schools are often subjected to such intense bullying that they’re unable to receive an adequate education. They’re often embarrassed or ashamed of being targeted and may not report the abuse.
• GLBT students are more apt to skip school due to the fear, threats, and property vandalism directed at them. One survey revealed that 22 percent of gay respondents had skipped school in the past month because they felt unsafe there.
• Twenty-eight percent of gay students will drop out of school. This is more than
  three times the national average for heterosexual students.
• GLBT youth feel they have nowhere to turn. According to several surveys, four out of five gay and lesbian students say they don’t know one supportive adult at school.

Source:  Mental Health America

Jamey Rodemeyer

With the recent suicide of 14 year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, it is yet another wake-up call to everyone - bullying kills!  

Watch Jamey Rodemeyer's last YouTube video - "It gets better, I promise!".

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Preventing High School Dropouts

Parenting teenagers can be a challenge.


Generations prior finishing high school was never an option.

Today more teens are opting to drop-out completely or get their GED.  Why?

Why do students drop-out?

There’s no single reason.

Students drop out of school for a number of different reasons—and it’s typically a combination of many issues. Here are some of the top reasons students give for leaving school:

• Classes aren’t interesting
• Parents/family/adults have low expectations
• Poor attendance
• Failing in school
• Family responsibilities (work, caring for siblings, etc.)
• Becoming a parent
• Too much freedom

What are some warning signs to look for?
 
What to watch for. There are specific factors to watch for in students who are likely to drop out of school. If you see one or more of these signs, get involved! You can give these students the Boost they need to stay in school.

• They don’t feel challenged in school.
• They don’t feel high educational expectations from either their family or school.
• They believe their parents are too controlling and they want to rebel.
• They have trouble with schoolwork or feel like they are not as smart as other students.
• They have drug, alcohol or mental health problems.
• They regularly miss school or are frequently tardy.
• They struggle with problems at home, including physical or verbal abuse.
• They feel like they don’t fit in or have friends at school.
• Their peers or siblings have dropped out of school.
• They have poor learning conditions at school—such as overcrowding, high levels of violence and excessive absenteeism.

If you fear your teen is heading down a negative path and you need to get them back on track, visit www.BoostUp.org or www.HelpYourTeens.com for more information.

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Teen Manipulation: Getting What they Want

On  a daily basis I hear from parents and amazed at the stories their teen comes up with to get what they want.  I also know personally, what my own teenager (now an adult) would do to get her own way.  They stop at nothing…. As their friends all seem to have that curfew at 3am (NOT), our teenager is the only one that has to be home by 11pm (or whatever your curfew is).  I personally believe nothing good happens after midnight.  I recently came across a great article about this topic and wanted to share it with my readers.
 
Manipulation in Relational Aggression: Jockeying for the Position of Victim

By Jane Balvanz

If manipulation, as a noun defined, is artful or skillful management, and as a verb, means to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skillfully, or deviously, then manipulation, as a relationship tool, is just plain scary.  It’s a sideways method for getting what you want instead of using direct, honest communication.

In one sense, manipulation can be innocuous.  Parents use manipulative techniques to persuade their children to eat healthily.  And who among us hasn’t helped manage some sort of situation to pull off a surprise for someone’s birthday?  Intentions, in these cases, are meant to help or create a pleasant situation for someone else.  Both examples illustrate the sunnier side of manipulation.  But there is a dark side, a very dark side.

The Shadow Side of Manipulation

When kids meet and form new friendships, there is joy and abandon.  This is particularly true for our youngest.  Small children form bonds easily with little thought of gain or how a friendship could improve their social status.  They just want to play.  It doesn’t take long, though, for cliques to form and manipulation to begin.

Kids discover ways to keep others from joining in play.  Changing the truth just a little can keep an unpleasant situation at bay.  Forgetting on purpose can explain away an indiscretion.  And gathering a group together to “explain” one version of a story first before someone else’s opposing view can be told gives a certain stronghold over the most believable version of the truth.

It’s natural for kids to experiment with manipulation, but it’s a sad place to stay.   With girls and boys equally using it, anyone who continually succeeds through manipulation increases their chances of becoming a manipulative adult.  Spending enough time with a relationship manipulator eventually exposes their MO.  Unfortunately for the manipulator, relationships are shallow and ever changing.  It becomes a heartache for manipulators and their targets alike.

Victim, Victim – Who Gets to Be the Victim?
A masterful manipulator knows how to appear as the wronged party.  The best defense is a good offense; that is the manipulator’s mantra.  She knows how to set things up.  Victim is the desired role, because if you are the victim, you cannot be in the wrong.   Let me illustrate through roles and age groups:

Preschool:  Sarah retrieves a toy Mia has just snatched out of her hands. (Mia, crying to an adult)  “Sarah took my toy!”  Sarah is reprimanded to share.

Siblings:  Younger Child wants to play with Older Child’s science experiment.  Older Child, not wanting to have the school assignment destroyed, denies the request.   Younger Child cries to Parent that Older Child is mean.  Older Child is reprimanded because, of course, she/he is older and should know better.  (Younger Child smiles at Older Child)

Grade School:  A group of girls calls Mary names.  Mary, in tears, says she will report the group to the teacher after recess.   After recess, the group reaches the teacher first and reports that Mary has been calling them names.

Junior High and High School:  Maria and Eve were friends who told each other everything.  Their relationship included privately venting about others and sharing their opinions.  A fight ends the relationship, so Eve seeks “justice” by proclaiming herself Victim while sharing Maria’s private, negative views of others.  As a result, Maria is ostracized, and Victim Eve is embraced.

Romantic Relationships:  Maggie doesn’t like Josh’s friends, so each time he goes out with them, she sulks for days.  When Josh asks what’s wrong, Maggie responds, “Nothing.”

Work:  Analise’s boss asked her to do extra assignments without any compensation.  When Analise spoke up to say she would need extra compensation to pay for her babysitter’s additional time, the boss became incensed.  In conversations now, the boss calls Analise his Prima Dona employee.  When others ask about the obvious change in their relationship, he just shrugs his shoulders as if to suggest she is a difficult employee.  His actions cause others to stay away from Analise.

Character Qualities That Eschew Victimhood and Embrace Self-Efficacy

To raise a 21st Century Citizen who is able to become happy, self-reliant and successful in relationships and life itself, guide your child to live these five character qualities.  They are the antidotes to manipulation:
1. Respect
2. Responsibility
3. Resiliency
4. Honesty
5. Courage

When you respect yourself and others, it allows you to be honest in your communications and to take responsibility for your words and actions.  Resiliency gets you through the difficult times, and courage helps keep you in alignment with the other character values.

What gifts you will give your child – your guidance toward characteristics that lead to fulfilling relationships without manipulation and victimhood!

© 2011 A Way Through, LLC

Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls Ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at www.AWayThrough.com

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Teen Drive Smart: Road Show Rally 2011 Video Contest!

So after months of studying and practice, you passed your driver’s test and finally have your license…nice work! But the hard part isn’t over yet. In fact, it’s just starting. Once you and your friends begin driving, you’ll begin to see that everyone has a different standard of what constitutes “safe driving.”


Before getting in the car with another driver, think to yourself: would I let my kid brother/sister drive with this person? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t do it either. Teens Drive Smart has put together some ways to help you get out of these rather uncomfortable situations without damaging friendships.

We know that talking to your friends about driving safe can be tricky, so here are five quick things you can say when confronted with a friend who is driving distracted:

• Texting: “Do you want me to hold onto your cell phone while you’re driving?”
• Driving and Overcrowded Vehicle: “Whoa! We all can’t fit. Let’s not get [driver] in trouble. Anyone want to stay back with me?
• Drinking and Driving: “I’m not feeling well. I think I’m going to call my parents to pick me up. Do you want me to have them pick you up, too?”
• Treating You Like a Chauffeur: “I can give you a ride but the others are on their own.”
• Rowdy Passengers: “Hey guys! Not to be annoying, but can you guys quiet down a bit? I’m still getting used to the idea of driving with other people in the car.”

Now it is time to rally and be part of  a great contest!

On behalf of Bridgestone Americas,  their Teens Drive Smart Road Show Rally 2011 Tour, a high school grant contest promoting safe driving and the importance of learning these behaviors before a driver sits behind the wheel is on!

So as you head back to school this fall ask your friends, “Are you ready to rally?” Any individual or group of teens interested in participating in this contest will create a 30-second to two-minute video describing the following:

• What they have done in their community to spread the safe driving message;
• What they would like to do in the future to alert others about the dangers of driving distracted;
• And why a road show rally should come to their school.

Entrants will be judged by three criteria: Creativity, Need, and Story and are to submit their videos by October 7^th. The grand prize winning school will receive the Road Show Rally and a $5,000 donation!

More information can be found by visiting http://www.teensdrivesmart.com/road-show-rally-tour.html. And while you’re there, be sure to check out Teens Drive Smart on Facebook and Twitter!

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10 Tips to help your teen secure their cell phones and other tech devices with strong passwords

With the ever expanding world of technology and the sometime irresponsible world of our teenagers, it is important they learn how to create strong and secure passwords for their cell phones, iPads, computers, social networking etc.

There may come a time when they lose their phone or other technology devices; help them secure their privacy and safety.  Or maybe someone picks up their phone or iPad and starts browsing it with unacceptable searches or worse gains access to their social networking page and posts pictures or content that are less than acceptable.

School is opening, more teens than ever have cell phones or iPads that are easily transported with them to school.  Help them create strong and secure passwords and this includes their social networking sites.

In this day in age it seems like you can’t trust anyone.  It’s kind of sad when you think about it. Every time you log on to a site you have to have a password now.  We all have trouble remembering passwords, but it’s not a good idea to use something easy like your birthday or your kids’ birthday.  These are dates and numbers that hackers and sadly even friends will try.

Check out 10 tips for stronger, more secure passwords.

1. Length matters: Longer passwords are harder for hackers to figure out.  Use a password that is at least 8 characters or longer.  Try combining names and dates to make it easy for you to remember, but harder for a hacker to discover.
2. Change it up: Yep, I want you to come up with different passwords for different sites.  It is possible that your password for one site could be compromised and then they can use your password to access other sites that you frequent.  You may be wondering what are the odds of that happening and while I can’t tell you the exact odds I can tell you that you don’t want someone to steal your identity.  If someone gets your password they can find you on Facebook and see what you are into and then that will give them clues for where else to try to login.
3. Be different: Use a symbol in your password.  People are less likely to guess a password with an @ symbol in the middle of it.  Or use a capital letter or a number in your password.  The more unusual you can make it the harder it will be for someone to figure it out.  If you use a symbol you can use it as part of something easy for you to remember.  Something you like, Big$$$$$ or something funny like that.
4. Make up your own acronym: For example, you could do Sghsin1985.  This stands for Sam graduated high school in 1985.  This is a strong password because it’s not easy to guess, it’s longer than 8 characters, it blends numbers with letters and there is a capital letter in it.  If you want to be even cleverer you can substitute the s for high school and use $ in it’s place. (Sgh$in1985)
5. Hide your passwords: Okay, I know what you are thinking.  How am I supposed to remember what password I used for which site if I’m going to use different ones for everything?  Feel free to write them down, but don’t use a sticky note stuck to your computer.  If someone were to break into your home they could see that and take it figuring that they will continue to steal from you online.  Hide your passwords in your home.  Tape it in the back of a reference book or something.
6. Beware of the computer you’re using: With cyber cafes out there and libraries that let you get online you need to be careful with how secure the computers are.  Even our home computers might not be as secure with being able to access the Internet through our phones and tablets.
7. Don’t pick a random word: You may think that just picking some random word that is longer than 8 characters would be a good choice, but it isn’t.  There are programs out there that hackers use that will literally run through all of the words in the dictionary.  Always change it up.  If your favorite word is curmudgeon then use it, but add some sort of number with it either before or after it or a symbol.
8. Avoid using personal information: One of the biggest mistakes people make when coming up with a password is by using their kids’ names or dog’s name or anniversary date.  All of these things are available for hackers to find and they can use that information against you.  Feel free to use this information in combination with other things though.
9. Try not to use repeated numbers: You might be tempted to use 8 characters in a row on your keyboard.  (wertyuio)  This looks on the surface like it would be a good idea, but hackers are onto these types of passwords.  That same as 12345678 is a bad choice.  Also, don’t just spell something backwards.  Hackers are onto that trick too.
10. Test your new password: Once you have done all the legwork and come up with what you think is the perfect password you can go HERE and check the strength.  If you need to make adjustments after that you can.

Source:  Internet Service Providers

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Online Courses: Be sure your classes are accredited

Not every teen is ready to go off to college.  Many times starting with online courses can ease their way into going to a local college or university.  Many adults are also turning to online college courses since they can be more accessible when having a job and supporting a family.  No matter why you are choosing an online college, be sure it is accredited so you can easily transfer or obtain a legitimate degree.

An important step when choosing an online degree program is learning if the online college is fully accredited. This is vital, because by choosing a non-accredited college, you risk receiving a substandard education in exchange for your precious time and money, or employers rejecting you based on an obscure education path. Accreditation allows you to rest assured that your degree, and quality education, will be well-recognized by employers. Without the right accreditation, your online degree may in fact be worthless, so do your research and find out whether the college you’ve chosen is a smart choice for your future.

How does accreditation work? A third party, known as an accreditation agency, validates each online school as a legitimate educator. The agencies usually investigate the school to make sure students are receiving a quality education and the school operates legally. This process keeps schools from making educational promises they simply cannot keep.

Remember that while accreditation agencies offer a certain legitimacy to schools, the accreditation industry isn’t necessarily regulated. The process is voluntary, without much governmental oversight, so know that for every good accreditation agency out regulating schools, there are just as many fraudulent ones. Schools have even been known to set up fake accreditation agencies so they look more genuine, so you must do your research to avoid getting the wool pulled over your eyes.

It is a good sign if either the Council on Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA) or the US Department of Education has recognized the organization. CHEA has an international directory of quality assurance organizations, accreditation agencies and Ministries of Education in more than 150 countries. Search for your school on the the US Department of Education’s list of recognized accreditation agencies.

Do all of the schools they accredit appear to be genuine? If they appear phony, they likely are. You can see if they are listed as legitimate by well-known organizations, such as the International Handbook of Universities, the Commonwealth Universities Yearbook, and the US Department of Education’s College Navigator.
Is the accreditation agency connected to the schools in any way? As with online college rankings, there’s a chance that the accreditation agency you’re considering is a front, created to offer credibility to a phony online college. Accreditation agencies should be an independent third party, so any accreditation organization affiliated with a school is a conflict of interest. Look at their addresses, Whois information, ownership and other identifying details.

Follow these guidelines to be sure the accreditation agency you’re trusting to assess your online college is legitimate, offering a helpful and independent endorsement of the school. When you find an accreditation agency and school you can trust, you can feel confident that your online degree will be taken seriously and offer you a quality education.

Source:  Accredited Online Colleges

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Author Stacey Honowitz: My Private Parts Are Private

Schools are opening throughout the country.  Many kids will be walking or riding their bikes to school.  Stranger danger is still a very serious concern for kids of all ages and parents as well as our community.

My Private Parts are Private! (Book signing event see below)


Before your minds all go in the gutter, this is about teaching our children about sexual abuse and inappropriate touching.

As the fastest growing crime in the country, Child Sexual Abuse is a national problem.
“My Privates are Private” & “Genius with a Penis: Don’t Touch” aim to help parents educate their children in a fun and comfortable way.

Stacey Honowitz, author and Assistant Florida State Attorney who specializes in child abuse and sex crimes, is releasing her 2nd book titled, Genius with a Penis: Don’t Touch. With its colorful illustrations and rhymes, the book’s character, Bobby Boodle helps parents educate their children about their body parts, defines what good and bad touching is and explains what to do if children are touched inappropriately.

In 2009 her first hit book , My Privates are Private won acclaim for it’s unique story about a little girl named Betsy Boodle, now the second book reaches out to boys through the voice of Bobby Boodle.

Realizing what a problem child sexual abuse is and her belief that children have a voice too, inspired Stacey to advocate against such crimes. The self-published book is a result of this desire to help, and the author says, “finally parents and kids can talk about this difficult subject in a manner which is comfortable for both.”

The series empowers children to stand up for themselves if they’ve been abused. It puts both parents and children at ease when dealing with this delicate subject matter, and give parents the ability to communicate openly with their child about the importance of reporting abuse. The books are available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

Meet Stacy in person!

About the Author:

Stacey Honowitz, resident of South Florida, has worked with the Florida State Attorney’s Office Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit for 22 years. She appears regularly on CNN, MSNBC, Headline News, FOX News as a Legal Analyst and has been featured on Dateline NBC, CBS News 48 Hours, and Good Morning.
For more information contact: Stacey Honowitz at (786) 781- 8848 or staceybhonowitz@hotmail.com.

Stacey Honowitz will be signing book at Give Wink on August 25th, 10am – 6pm for a Back to School – One Stop Shop at Give Wink!  See the flyer on the side.

Call for more information.