Sexual Abuse: Know the Signs - Be an Educated Parent

Sexual abuse can be a single incident or many acts over a long period of time. There usually are subtle signs along the way that can be overlooked. Here are a few possible warnings of sexual abuse. Look for a change in your child’s normal behavior that last or become more intense.

Of course, there could be another explanation but any of these signs should be addressed. If you have any suspicions or a feeling something is wrong, seek help of a mental health professional.

Physical Signs: Bloody, torn, or stained underclothes; pain, bleeding, burning, or itching in genital area; difficulty walking or sitting; frequent urinary or yeast infections; STD or pregnancy
Psychosomatic Signs: Stomachaches, headaches or marked mood swings; nightmares or trouble sleeping; sudden changes in appetite
Sexual Behavior Signs: Uses adult-like sexual knowledge, language or behavior; writes, draws or plays out sexual-type images; frequent use of masturbation
Emotional Signs: Resorts to aggressive behaviors: thumb-sucking, bed-wetting; sudden clinginess; depressed
Behavioral Signs: Shrinks away or seems threatened by physical contact; excessive bathing, poor hygiene; or talks about self as dirty or bad; trouble focusing; seems distracted or distant at odd times; overly protective and concerned for siblings, assumes a caretaker role; talks about a new, older friend; jumpy if the phone rings, a text or email comes in; suddenly has unaccountable money, gifts, toys or mail; runs to mailbox

If there was something your child said or did that made you concerned, ask. Do know that a child may not admit or deny the abuse usually due to fear, humiliation, guilt or shame, but studies show that if asked, kids generally will tell a trusted adult of their abuse.

Special contributor: Dr. Michele Borba

Author Stacey Honowitz: My Private Parts Are Private

Schools are opening throughout the country.  Many kids will be walking or riding their bikes to school.  Stranger danger is still a very serious concern for kids of all ages and parents as well as our community.

My Private Parts are Private! (Book signing event see below)


Before your minds all go in the gutter, this is about teaching our children about sexual abuse and inappropriate touching.

As the fastest growing crime in the country, Child Sexual Abuse is a national problem.
“My Privates are Private” & “Genius with a Penis: Don’t Touch” aim to help parents educate their children in a fun and comfortable way.

Stacey Honowitz, author and Assistant Florida State Attorney who specializes in child abuse and sex crimes, is releasing her 2nd book titled, Genius with a Penis: Don’t Touch. With its colorful illustrations and rhymes, the book’s character, Bobby Boodle helps parents educate their children about their body parts, defines what good and bad touching is and explains what to do if children are touched inappropriately.

In 2009 her first hit book , My Privates are Private won acclaim for it’s unique story about a little girl named Betsy Boodle, now the second book reaches out to boys through the voice of Bobby Boodle.

Realizing what a problem child sexual abuse is and her belief that children have a voice too, inspired Stacey to advocate against such crimes. The self-published book is a result of this desire to help, and the author says, “finally parents and kids can talk about this difficult subject in a manner which is comfortable for both.”

The series empowers children to stand up for themselves if they’ve been abused. It puts both parents and children at ease when dealing with this delicate subject matter, and give parents the ability to communicate openly with their child about the importance of reporting abuse. The books are available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

Meet Stacy in person!

About the Author:

Stacey Honowitz, resident of South Florida, has worked with the Florida State Attorney’s Office Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit for 22 years. She appears regularly on CNN, MSNBC, Headline News, FOX News as a Legal Analyst and has been featured on Dateline NBC, CBS News 48 Hours, and Good Morning.
For more information contact: Stacey Honowitz at (786) 781- 8848 or staceybhonowitz@hotmail.com.

Stacey Honowitz will be signing book at Give Wink on August 25th, 10am – 6pm for a Back to School – One Stop Shop at Give Wink!  See the flyer on the side.

Call for more information.

Sue Scheff: April is Sexual Awareness Month - Lauren's Kids - Voices Fighting Against Child Abuse

Sexual Assault Awareness Month is about educating students and others about preventing sexual abuse. The month of April has been designated Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). The goal of SAAM is to raise public awareness about sexual violence (focusing on sexual assault and rape) and to educate communities and individuals on how to prevent sexual violence.

Lauren Book-Lim, abuse survivor and founder of Lauren's Kids, will led a 500-mile walk across Florida -from Aventura to the state Capitol in Tallahassee - to raise awareness for Sexual Abuse Awareness Month.

"This 500-mile walk symbolizes a survivor's long, painful healing journey to shed the shame - a journey that requires love, support and understanding from family, friends and trained professionals."

Lauren's mission is:


"Lauren's Kids"is the creation of child abuse victim, survivor and Elementary school teacher Lauren Book. The organization will help educate adults and children about sexual predators. Educational seminars and workshops will help create more awareness of sexual abuse laws, offer legal counsel and provide guidance on how and where to file complaints. The initial goal of "Lauren's Kids" will be to provide round-the-clock counseling and guidance for victims through a toll free phone number. The ultimate goal will be to create a Crisis Center for Children and their Families coping with the aftermath of sexual abuse."

Sue Scheff: Sexual Abuse Thrives on Secrecy and Shame

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Although this is a sensitive and difficult topic to talk about, it is a necessary discussion to have. Education is key to prevention.

The Florida Council Against Sexual Violence (FCASV) is a statewide nonprofit organization committed to victims and survivors of sexual violence and the sexual assault crisis programs who serve them.

FCASV serves as a resource to the state on sexual violence issues. Each year they host a statewide conference and many trainings, bringing state-of-the-art information from around the nation to Florida. FCASV provide technical assistance to agencies seeking to improve their services for rape victims, and provide up-to-date information to the public. By using the toll free information line, callers can access information from their resource library or from their network of national resources. FCASV provides information, assistance and leadership on all aspects of sexual violence, including rape, child abuse, stalking and sexual harassment.

Sexual Violence affects every aspect of a person's life-her/his body, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, spirituality and relationships with others and the outside world. This is true whether it is acquaintance rape, stranger rape, date rape, child sexual abuse or marital rape.

During this month of awareness, make it a priority to talk to your kids about prevention and awareness.

In Florida there are support services available. Click here. The Rape Crisis Hotline is 1-888-956-RAPE (7273).


Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier teens.

Read more - click here.

Sue Scheff: The Lovely Bones - Sex Offenders - Do you know who lives in your neighborhood?

December 6, 1973, the day Susie Salmon was murdered.

On her way home from school on a snowy December day in 1973, 14-year-old Susie Salmon ("like the fish") is lured into a makeshift underground den in a cornfield and brutally raped and murdered, the latest victim of a serial killer--the man she knew as her neighbor, Mr. Harvey. - Amazon.com

The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold, is an amazing novel that recently came to the big screen. Although the story is depressing, it is a reminder of how parenting has changed dramatically since the 70's. Parenting in the respect of our kids having the freedom to roam neighborhoods and simply walk home from school by themselves. Today we are all too aware of educating our kids about "stranger danger" and we are more protective than generations prior.

Does this mean that our parents were not as diligent as parents are today? No, not exactly, it only means we have become more aware of the dangers that can lurk in our neighborhoods or at a local park.

Teach your children about stranger danger. Teach your kids how to talk to strangers since it is inevitable they will at one time or another.

Sex offenders watch lists:

• Family Watch Dog - Awareness is your best defense
• Map Sex Offenders - Nationwide sex offender mapping
• United States Department of Justice - National Sex Offender website

Be an educated parent, you will have safer children.

Watch trailer and read on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Stop the Silence - Stop Child Sexual Abuse

Take the time to be an educated parent, which leads to a prepared parent and a safer child.
Source: Stop the Silence

What is child sexual abuse?

Child sexual abuse (CSA) constitutes a broad range of behaviors occurring along a continuum from voyeurism to rape, and usually happens over an extended period of time. CSA is possible due to differences in power and control between the offender and the victim

How common is it?

CSA is occurring in pandemic proportions and causes grave physical and psychological trauma, along with social havoc. In the U.S., CSA affects one-third of girls and one-sixth of boys by the time they are 18 years old.* Many countries have not yet conducted the research to identify the extent of CSA, but, from the research available, we know that it is a worldwide pandemic and that prevalence rates have been identified as high as 60 percent in some places, and as low as 2 percent in others.

It is difficult to know the true extent of CSA; most CSA is never reported (due to shame, fear, stigma, and other factors). The information that does get reported can look quite different depending on who is reporting it—for example, whether recounted by a child to various authorities as opposed to by an adult who has found out as a result of trauma or pregnancy. Also, authorities often minimize or dismiss the abuse reported, blame the victim, and/or protect the abuser. Only one in 10 children in the U.S. actually let someone know that it has occurred. We also know that more than two-fifths of women and more than one-third of men who have been sexually abused never disclose the experience to anyone.

What are the consequences?

We all privately or publicly know survivors who have not only survived, but thrived; it has taken work for them to get there. CSA often has extremely severe consequences. They include:

Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other psychological problems
Anti-social behaviors
Decreased school performance and delinquency
Substance abuse
Promiscuity
Teen pregnancy
Sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV
Prostitution
Homicide and suicide
Incarceration

Decades of research documents that adults who were sexually victimized as children have a higher likelihood of being negatively impacted in their adulthood by numerous types of psychological and physiological ailments and sociological pathologies, including post traumatic stress disorder, self-destructive and violent behaviors, and even chronic disease. CSA has been definitively implicated as a precursor to, and a part of, the commercial sexual exploitation of children. CSA costs the nation billions of dollars each year between medical and psychiatric treatment, social services, special education, and legal and judicial and incarceration costs.

Learn more at www.stopcsa.org