Sue Scheff: Teen Ambassador for Love Our Children USA

Last month Cati Grant was honored with the title of Teen Ambassador for Love Our Children USA. Cati demonstrates dedication and devotion to help stop bullying and cyberbullying. Her website, http://www.caticares.com/, offers tips and resources to help you and your children stay safe in cyberspace as well as learn about the issue of bullying in schools.

Recently Cati and the founder of Love Our Children USA, Ross Ellis, were featured on Fox News New York for a segment on bullying (pictured above). Love Our Children USA has expanded their organization with STOMPOUTBULLYING and continue to educate people and help children all over the country.

I interviewed Cati last month. Since this interview, she has attended Kids Are Heroes Day in Maryland as well as New York City to continue to be a voice against bullying.

Here is her interview from last month:

Q. Tell us about Cati Cares? When did you create it and why?

A. I created Cati Cares in June of 2008 as a birthday gift from my parents. I created it because I wanted to help other people, prevent cyber-bullying, and promote Internet safety to anyone with access to the Internet. I really wanted to start a movement of caring among teens.

Q. What tips do you have for kids that are being cyber bullied online?

A. Try not to encourage the bully and just try to ignore it…. do not respond, keep records of all contact and talk with a trusted adult. I cannot stress enough for anyone who is being bullied to speak with a trusted adult. There is so much more awareness about this issue than when I went through it several years ago, there are a lot more resources available for everyone to use. Don’t suffer in silence!

Q. Who inspires you and what motivates you?

A. I find inspiration from simple everyday things and I am constantly motivated by people who encourage me to keep up the work of Cati Cares.
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Q. What are your long term goals for Cati Cares?

A. To keep the website up for anyone who might need guidance or help to deal with a bully. I have the domain registered for the next 10 years. I am excited that Cati Cares has given me the opportunity to meet so many wonderful new people. I plan to always be a community advocate.

Q. How do your family, friends and teachers feel about your crusade?

A. They all feel that I am doing a great job and that I am making a difference in the world today.

Q. Do you have other hobbies or activities you enjoy?

A. Yes, I love horses, science and cheerleading. I love walking my dog, Bella. I also enjoy reading and writing.

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?

A. I want to be a veterinarian specifically for race horses. I love all animals and have been riding horses since I was 5 years old.

Q. I understand you are part of Love our Children USA, it is such an honor. Please tell us about it?

A. It is a great honor to be named the Teen Ambassador by Ross Ellis, she is such a wonderful person. I am excited for the future and happy to have another venue to raise awareness. If we all join together, we can eradicate bullying forever.

Q. You were also invited to participate in Kids Are Heroes Day 2009, another honor. Please tell us more about this special day?

A. Another amazing honor, I am so excited to attend Kids Are Heroes Day in Frederick, Maryland October 24, 2009. I hope to motivate other teens and kids to volunteer in their communities. I am also looking forward to meeting other Heroes. Everyone is invited to come out and meet us. It should be a pretty amazing weekend!

Q. Is there anything more you would like to share with us?

A. I would like to encourage anyone who is being bullied to speak with a trusted adult, they will listen. Middle school and High school will be the toughest years of your life! Be yourself and don’t let anyone else try to make you feel bad for that! I would also like to encourage anyone who is a witness to someone being bullied, speak up! You just might save someone’s life and become a hero. I have some advice for bullies; ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing? Stop before you are branded a bully for life.

You can follow Cati Grant on Twitter and visit her website at www.CatiCares.com .

“Join the movement of TEENS caring. Take the PLEDGE not to cyberbully.” – Cati Grant

Sue Scheff: Teen Drivers

Having a new teen driver in your home can be extremely stressful, not to mention nerve wrecking! As a parent, we will provide the education they need to become a defensive driver, however there is nothing more priceless than experience. This doesn’t dismiss the classroom, however it is in addition to driving schools.

Parents need to be prepared before they get behind the wheel. Again, I have to recommend Crash Proof Your Kids by Timothy C. Smith. This is one of the most comprehensive books on new drivers I have read so far.

Last week we read about Keeping New Drivers Safe. Here is a recent article with some great parent tips from Connect with Kids.

Source: Connect with Kids

Defensive Driving Schools

“Every new driver needs to go through a defensive driving course – a classroom portion. But that just gives them the head knowledge. What young drivers especially need is experience.”

– Robert Wilson, National Safety Council

Today only 15 percent of new drivers get any kind of formal training before they get behind the wheel. That’s a dramatic change from 30 years ago when driver’s ed was nearly universal. On the other hand, today some young drivers get training that might be called driver’s ed on steroids.

Welcome to defensive driving at the racetrack. This isn’t your parents’ driver’s ed. The program is not only more extreme, it’s more expensive than conventional driving courses. But is it worth it?

“Oh, yeah,” says 17-year-old Erika, “because you think what happens if I flip the car, or what happens if I mess up, everybody’s looking, I’m gonna mess up…it’s scary out there.”

Her father, Dave, agrees. “Absolutely. I mean, I will worry less and I believe she’ll have more respect for the vehicle and what it can do, so yeah, hands down.”

Seventeen-year-old Andrew also has good things to say about the class. “I think it’s gonna help my confidence a lot. You stay relaxed. If something happens you don’t tense up and freak out.”

“Every new driver needs to go through a defensive driving course- a classroom portion,” explains Robert Wilson of the National Safety Council, “but that just gives them the head knowledge. What young drivers especially need is experience. The skid pad, for instance, is a great experience, teaching kids that if they are in a skid, how to handle it.”

Skidding, spinning and wiping out may seem like fun to some kids, but there is reason to be cautious, says Wilson. “The tendency, especially with young boys, might be to take lessons learned on the racetrack and convert that to regular highway driving and that certainly is a caution. I know the instructors at these schools strongly discourage that and explain that to the kids.”

Wilson adds that whatever course your child takes, it needs to be followed by driving lessons from mom or dad. “The parents need to be driving with these teenagers after this school experience, to reinforce the lessons learned, the proper lessons, and that speed is not acceptable under any conditions.”

Driving is a risky business for American teenagers. Despite spending less time driving than all other age groups (except the elderly), teenage drivers have disproportionately high rates of crashes and fatalities. Experts say that the high accident rates for teens are caused by a combination of factors, most notably teenagers’ immaturity and lack of driving experience. The U.S. Department of Transportation’s Fatality Analysis Reporting System collected the following data about teenage drivers:

•Crashes are the leading cause of death among 16- to 19-year-olds.
•The majority of teenage passenger deaths occur when another teen is driving.
•Two-thirds of teens killed in motor vehicle crashes are male.
•Among teenage drivers, alcohol is a factor in 23 percent of fatal accidents involving males, 10 percent of fatal accidents involving females.
•More than half of the teenage motor vehicle deaths occur on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
•Of those deaths, 41 percent occur between 9 p.m. and 6 a.m.

Tips for Parents

The risks involved in letting a teenager get behind the wheel of a car are very real, but there are safety measures parents can take to improve the odds for beginning drivers. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety offers these tips:

•Don’t rely solely on driver education. High school driving courses may be the most convenient way to teach driving skills, but they don’t produce safer drivers.
•Supervise practice driving. Take an active role in helping your teen learn how to drive. Supervised practice should be spread over at least six months and continue even after your teen graduates from a learner’s permit to a restricted or full license.
•Remember, you are a role model. New drivers learn by example, so you must practice safe driving. Teens with crashes and violations often have parents with poor driving records.
•Restrict night driving. Most nighttime fatal crashes among young drivers occur between 9 p.m. and midnight, so your teen shouldn’t be driving much later than 9 p.m.
•Restrict passengers. Teenage passengers in a vehicle can distract a new driver and/or lead to greater risk-taking. The best policy is to restrict the number of teenage passengers your teen is allowed to transport.
•Require safety belts. Don’t assume that your teen is using a safety belt when he’s with his friends, just because he uses it when you’re together. Research shows that safety belt use is lower among teens than older people. Insist that your teen use a safety belt at all times.
•Prohibit driving after drinking. Make it clear that it is illegal and highly dangerous for a teen to drive after drinking alcohol or using any other drug. While alcohol isn’t a factor in most crashes of teenagers, even small amounts of alcohol are impairing for teens.
•Choose vehicles for safety, not image. Teens should drive vehicles that reduce their chances of a crash and offer protection in case they do crash. For example, small cars don’t offer the best protection in a crash. Avoid cars with performance images that might encourage speeding. Avoid trucks and sport utility vehicles, particularly the smaller ones, which are more prone to roll over.

References
•Drive Home Safe
•Insurance Institute for Highway Safety
•National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

Also read Examiner article on New Teen Driver Resources.

Sue Scheff: Halloween Safety Tips

Halloween is almost here! Many kids are already anxious with anticipation and excitement. Parents are busy either making their costumes or shopping for them. Be sure to take a few minutes to review these Halloween Safety Tips! They may sound like common sense, but we all need reminding.

•Have a parent or older sibling go trick or treating with you, or go in a group.
•Wear a costume that makes it easy for you to walk, see and be seen.
•Trick or treat in your own neighborhood. Go only to the homes of people you know.
•Carry a flashlight so you can been easily.
•Use makeup instead of a mask or anything that obscures your vision.
•Be sure your costume is flame retardant.
•Cross only at corners. Never cross the street between parked cars or in the middle of the block.
•Stay on sidewalks and be aware of cars that may be turning or backing out of driveways.
•Don’t go to homes that do not have their lights on.
•Always be polite, say thank you, even if you don’t care for the treat.
•Wait until you get home to sort, check, and eat your treats; accept only candy that is wrapped or packaged. Parents or an older sibling should help sort the treats.

Lastly, my favorite idea that can be a tip that I just learned about: Teaching gratitude on Halloween!

Happy Halloween! Have fun and stay safe!

Also on Examiner.com

Sue Scheff: Teens and Chat Room Safety

Does your child, teen or do you venture into “Chat Rooms” online? Chat rooms are among the riskiest places on the Net for children and teens. Most Internet Predators are lingering waiting for their next victim in a variety of chat rooms. Don’t allow it to be your child.

As a Parent Advocate, I encourage all parents to take the steps to educate your children about cyber safety with a strong emphasis on chat room safety. October is National Cyber Safety Awareness Month, which is a reason for you to set aside time to sit with your kids and discuss what lurks online.

Here are some great Chat Room safety tips from Connect Safely to share with your family:
Remember that what you say in a chat room or instant messaging session is live -- you can't take it back or delete it later.

Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want the public to know — this includes your full name, your address, phone number of other personal information.

Don't get together with someone you meet in a chat room. If you must, meet in a public place and bring along some friends.

Don’t reveal your actual location or when and where you plan to hang out.

Choose a nickname that's not sexually suggestive and doesn’t give away your real name.

If someone says or does something creepy, block them and don't respond.

Just sign out if the topic turns to sex. That can often lead somewhere you don't want to go.

For more info: Connect Safely,iKeepSafe, ReputationDefender/MyChild, Google Bomb Book, Love Our Children USA, Cati Cares.

Also on Examiner.com

Sue Scheff: Parenting Alert-Fashion Magazines Affect Our Daughters’ Physical & Emotional Health

Michele Borba, Parenting Guru and author of over 23 books, is voicing her opinion over the recent news in the fashion world. Our daughters' have enough to worry about with today's peer pressure and society always in their face with how they are supposed to look, act and more. Read Dr. Borba's excellent commentary and don't forget to pick up her recent book, Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

Parenting Alert-Fashion Magazines Affect Our Daughters’ Physical & Emotional Health

By Dr. Michele Borba

Warning: I’m ticked–or just darn-right over-the-top disgusted–about two recent events in the fashion world.

First up there was top fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld’s attack on the women’s magazine, Brigitte decision to start using “normal-size women” for models instead of the pencil-thin variety. Such a concept, eh? Well, here was Lagerfeld’s comment: “These are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television. No one wants to see round women.” Starting to get a little riled? Keep reading….

Then there was last week’s equally disturbing incident involving Ralph Lauren’s fashion house. RL and company finally apologized for doctoring one of their advertisements, which had an already stick-thin model look even—if this is even possible–thinner. Did you see that picture???? AHHH!

For some reason our culture just loves the pencil-thin look—and it’s everywhere. When’s the last time you flipped through a fashion or celebrity magazine? Only one body type is flaunted: thin, thinner, or thinnest. Make no mistake those images do influence our daughters’ eating habits.

REALITY CHECK: A five-year study of 2516 teens by the American Psychological Association found that girls who frequently read those dieting and weight loss articles are far more likely to fast, vomit, or use laxatives to lose weight. In fact, the data proved that the more frequently a girl reads those fashion magazines, the more likely she is to resort to extreme weight control behaviors.

And it appears far too many girls are partaking in extreme measures to achieve this absurd unhealthy, “unnormal” appearance to achieve “the thinner the better” look.

While researching eating disorders for my book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions I discovered scathing statistics. Here are just a few of those troubling trends about American children and their attitudes about their body image that should sound an alarm:

At least ten percent of all adolescent girls now suffer from eating disorders. The disease has no boundaries: male or female, young or old, urban or rural, Catholic or Jewish, black or white. Boys now make up about 30 percent of younger children with eating disorders. And the rates are only increasing. Children as young as six these days are diagnosed with eating disorders. Over ten years ago 34 percent of high school girls thought they were overweight; 90 percent believe they are today.

Here’s more troubling news:

•Half of girls eight to ten years old and one-third of boys are unhappy with their size
•42 percent of six through eight-year old girls want to be thinner
•40 percent nine year olds have been on a “diet” and nine percent have vomited to lose weight
•51 percent of nine-ten year old girls feel better about themselves when dieting.
•Eighty-one percent of ten year olds fear being too fat
•30 to 55 percent of girls start dieting in middle school. Preteen girls struggling with low self-esteem are particularly vulnerable to images of thin models and celebrities
Enough!

It’s time to recognize just how destructive this super-thin obsession has on our daughters and how it undermines self-esteem and encourages eating disorders.

And then we must make a concerted, collected pledge to help our girls develop healthier attitudes about their body for their physical as well as emotional health.

Here are a few beginning parenting solutions to help our daughters (and don’t forget our sons):

Monitor the media your child consumes a bit closer (and make sure those bodybuilding magazines do not consume your son as well).

Limit your child’s access to magazines that promote the “thin-is-better” look and get her a subscription to healthier alternatives.

Teach your child to be media literate and resist the ways television, movies and magazines portray underweight women as “glamorous,” and muscle-bound men as “all-powerful.”

Talk frankly about the unglamorous reality of eating disorders (damaged teeth; hair loss; osteoporosis, brittle fingernails, as well as even possible death).

And while you’re at it, put down those celerity and fashion magazines with those covers are plastered with skinny pop stars and model. Your child is taking notes.

But most important: please help your child find healthier alternatives and help her learn to love herself from the inside-out.

For more research-based tips to turn around this troubling trend, healthier new habits to teach our kids, how to recognize the signs of eating disorders, and the latest scientific findings refer to The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries in the chapters on Eating Disorders, Perfectionism, Role Models, and Dress and Appearance.

Sue Scheff: All things kids - Books, toys, games, restaurants, camps and more!

If you haven't visited http://www.kidcriticusa.com/ yet, take a few minutes and see what kids are talking about today and what items they like and why!

Lane Sutton is expanding his passion of being a National Kid Critic! He welcomes all things kids! Do you have kid friendly websites, services, products, camps, toys, books and more? Let Lane offer his review from a kid's perspective! What can help your business better than having your item reviewed by the very audience you are promoting it to?

Follow Lane on Twitter at @KidCriticUSA and find out more! You can contact him directly by emailing him at Lane@KidCriticUSA.com - He is located on the East Coast but welcomes business owners from all over the country! Are you a Public Relations Firm looking for some free promo for clients representing kid-tween-teen items (books, toys, etc) - contact Lane today!

The best part is - this is free advertising for you when Lane posts his reviews! He also Tweets them too! Holiday's are coming - it is marketing time for those shoppers!

Sue Scheff: Mother's against Internet Predators

October is National Cyber Safety Awareness Month. It is a time for parents to become educated on where their kids and teens surf online. Who are they chatting with? Who are they sending photo’s to? Where are they posting information?

During this month, I am going to bring you different valuable resources, websites, and tips to help you become more familiar with Cyber Safety and Cyber Protection.

In Broward County, Florida, we have an organization, Mothers Against Predators. This group is put in place to create an awareness of what lurks online as well as helping you protect your children. Internet Predators do not discriminate, any child is at risk if not properly taught about how to stay safe in cyberspace.

Learn more:

Mothers Against Predators is a non-profit corporation whose mandate is to promote legislation and education to facilitate the creation on an effective defense against Internet predators. Through outreach programs and advocacy groups, M.A.P. will educate children and parents on effective ways to be protected from Internet predators, and how to properly report inappropriate or illegal behavior. M.A.P. works in partnership with local and national elected officials and law enforcement to create effective legislation and laws to provide a defense against Internet predators.

Visit their website today and learn more: http://www.wearemap.org/index.html

Also on Examiner.com

Sue Scheff: School Conferences with Your Child's Teachers

School Family is a fantastic website with a wealth of information. Here is a great list of questions you need to be ready for as parent teacher conferences are being scheduled.

FOR PARENTS TO ASK ABOUT THE SCHOOL

• How is the school working to keep students on track
and/or raise achievement?
• How can I stay aware of what my child’s assignments
are and how my child is doing in class?
• [In the fall:] What are students expected to master by
the end of the year? How will you be gauging my
child’s progress toward these goals?
• If my child is falling behind, how will I be notified?

FOR PARENTS TO SHARE WITH THE TEACHER

• Any changes in the home or family situation that
might affect your child (behavior, achievement,
or other)
• Whether your child is experiencing difficulties
(academic, social, or other) at school

FOR PARENTS TO ASK ABOUT THEIR CHILD

• What are my child’s academic strengths? What
areas need improvement?
• What is my child’s current achievement level and
how does it compare with other students in the
same age group?
• What specific things can I do to support my child
and reinforce classroom lessons at home?
• How do you view my child’s emotional and
social skills?
• With whom does my child socialize? How does my
child relate to peers and adults?
• How does my child do with working in groups and
working independently?
• Does my child exhibit a good attitude toward
learning? Does my child make a good effort on
assignments and turn in completed assignments?
• Does my child stay on task well or need frequent
reminders? Has my child been developing good
work habits?
• Does my child participate in class? Does my child
behave in class?
• How much time should my child be spending on
homework each night?
• Have you noticed any issues that need to be
addressed or interests to be encouraged?

Follow School Family on Twitter.