Parenting Today's Kids

Recently I discovered a great new educational sites with articles and information that can benefit parents of kids, tweens and teens today!

Parenting Today's Kids

Fact.  Parents Need Help at the Intersection of Technology and Kids

At ParentingTodaysKids.com, we recognize that technology impacts how kids are growing up.  It can play a very influential role in the choice they make and the people they become.

We Are Parents Too

We are parents.  We get it.  If parents can understand technology today and learn how kids embrace consume and social using it, we increase our chances of protecting our kids and positively influencing them.

Our Goal

We spend so much time protecting and guiding our kids in the “real world”, but most of us can do a better job parenting in the virtual world and protecting our kids online.

Our goal at ParentingTodaysKids.com is to educate parents and to help them close the technology gap that exists between parents and kids in order to better protect them.

That’s why we’ve put together an expert panel focused on raising kids today, ranging from an attorney to a holistic parenting life coach.    Check out the Author’s section today to see the great experts who are here to help you better understand your kids and how they are using technology.

Join them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

Sue Scheff: Communicating with your teenager

Source: Shoulder to Shoulder


When talking with teens, keep the following in mind:

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE APPROACH.

•Don't blast teens with "20 questions" when they first walk in the door. Catch them when they are genuinely ready to talk. However, you may have to create that moment by going out for ice cream, taking a bike ride or working on a project together.

•If you're upset with your teen, you can't solve a problem effectively. Give yourself some time to cool down before addressing the issue.
•Keep the situation in perspective. It's normal for teens to push the boundaries. Let them experience how to question what they see, and to develop skills in reasoning with you. That way, they will learn to think for themselves to deal with peer pressure and other teen issues.



ARE YOU READY TO TALK?

•Avoid telling teens "this is how it's going to be." Be respectful by asking for their perspective of the situation - and really listen to them. Try to find a solution together.

•Pose your questions as open-ended questions instead of yes-no questions.
•Don't accept "I don't know" as a response. Instead try, "Tell me how you see it."
•Tell a joke or humorous story to relieve a tense situation, but don't make fun of teens. Their self-esteem can be fragile.
•Don't solve problems for them. Our teens will not be living with us forever. To let them grow, we should look for opportunities for them to make their own decisions.
•Get right to the point and be clear about your concerns. Explain why you feel the way you do, and then describe what you want or need in the future. Be ready to listen to what your teen needs, too.
•If you already know the answer, don't ask the question. For example, if you clearly disapprove of your teen's outfit, don't ask, "What are you wearing?!" Instead, you might try, "I'm concerned about that outfit. It's revealing and I don't want others to get the wrong idea about you. Please choose something else."
•Teens know they can wear down most adults with sheer repetition and persistence. When a discussion has reached the "wheel spinning" point, end it. To continue is to ask for trouble, as frustration may cause things to be said that we'll regret.
•Listen up. If teens see us as adults that will not listen to them, they will stop talking to us. Force yourself to listen. If necessary, count to 100 before responding and avoid giving unwanted advice or lecturing.
•Tell them often how much you love them.



Source: "Positive Parenting of Teens" University of Minnesota Extension Service & University of Wisconsin - Extension, 1999.

Sue Scheff: Homework Wars

Source: Connect with Kids

“You come home from school – you do homework first, then you have free time.”

– Darlene Duvall, a mother

For years, parent surveys showed that lots of moms and dads worried that their children were overloaded with too much homework. But that may be changing. A new study from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln reports that most parents believe the amount of homework these days is just about right. Of course, that doesn’t mean their kids see it that way.

When 16-year-old Christian and 10-year-old Christopher arrive home from school, the rule is homework comes first. “We tried it other ways, and they ended up not getting their homework done,” explains the boys’ mother, Darlene Duvall.

Homework is first, but there’s no yelling and no pestering from mom or dad.

“They let me do what I have to do to finish my homework. They won’t beat down on me, be like, ‘you gotta do your homework, you gotta do your homework,’” Christian says.

It’s a kind of freedom that teaches responsibility. But what if your child abuses the freedom?

“Then the parent says OK, you said I could trust you to do this on your own, to leave you alone, and you’ve messed up. Now, it’s not going to be that way anymore,” says Bob Macris, a high school curriculum director.

Macris says parents should start by telling their children they can’t play until the homework is done. Then, check their work and ask questions. “Do they really understand? You know Johnny, you wrote this down. What exactly does this mean?” Macris says.

The problem is, sometimes that just starts a fight.

“The time to take a second look at homework is when a child and a parent get to a level when they really are just yelling and screaming at each other and not communicating,” Macris advises.

If that happens, the key is to find someone else to whom your child will listen: the other parent, an older sibling or maybe a tutor.

“And the kids will feel a lot better about it, and so will the parent. But the parents should still follow up and make sure that the kid is doing what he or she is supposed to be doing,” Macris says.

Tips for Parents
What should you do if your child hates homework and doesn’t complete assignments on time or at all? The U.S. Department of Education has some advice. The department’s National Parent Information Network (NPIN) suggests that parents call someone at school when homework problems arise. Everyone needs to work together – the school, teachers, parents and the student – to solve the problems. If your child refuses to do assignments, call his or her teacher. If you and your child can’t understand the homework instructions, call the teacher. The teacher may also be able to help you get your child organized to do the homework. The NPIN says different homework problems require different solutions:

■Does your child have a hard time finishing assignments on time? Maybe he or she has poor study skills and needs help getting organized.
■Is the homework too difficult? Maybe your child has fallen behind and needs special help from a teacher or tutor.
■Is your child bored with the homework? Maybe it’s too easy and your child needs extra assignments that give more challenge.
The NPIN suggests asking your child these questions to combat any problems about homework that may arise:

■What’s your assignment today?
■Is the assignment clear? (If not, suggest calling the school’s homework hotline or a classmate.)
■Do you need special resources (a trip to the library or access to a computer)?
■Do you need special supplies (graph paper, poster board, etc.)?
■Have you started today’s assignment? Have you completed it?
■Is it a long-term assignment (a term paper or science project)?
■For a major project, would it be helpful to write out the steps or make a schedule?
■Would a practice test be useful?
What kind of “homework help” should parents give their children? The Chicago Public Schools offers this advice:

■Encouragement: Give your child praise for efforts and for completing assignments.
■Availability: Encourage your child to do the work independently, but be available for assistance.
■Scheduling: Establish a set time to do homework each day. You may want to use a calendar to keep track of assignments and due dates.
■Space: Provide a space for homework, stocked with the necessary supplies, such as pencils, pens, paper, dictionaries, a computer and other reference materials.
■Discipline: Help your child focus on homework by removing distractions, such as television, radio, telephone and interruptions from siblings and friends.
■Modeling: Consider doing some of your work, such as paying bills or writing letters, during your child’s homework time.
■Support: Talk to your child about difficulties with homework. Be willing to talk to your child’s teacher to resolve problems in a positive manner.
■Involvement: Familiarize yourself with the teacher’s homework policy. Make sure that you and your child understand the teacher’s expectations. At the beginning of the year, you may want to ask your child’s teacher these questions – What kinds of assignments will you give? How often do you give homework? How much time are the students expected to spend on them? What type of involvement do you expect from parents?

References
■Chicago Public Schools
■National Parent Information Network

Sue Scheff: Child Seat Safety Week

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood Launches Child Passenger Safety Week
Urges Parents to Learn How to Correctly Install Safety Seats

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood today kicked off Child Passenger Safety Week as new research by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) showed that while there is a high use of child safety seats nationwide, a majority of children are not properly secured.

“Every year hundreds of young lives are lost to automobile crashes,” Secretary LaHood said. “Parents and caregivers need to make sure they learn how to properly install child safety seats so their kids will be safe whenever they’re on the road.”

During Child Passenger Safety Week (September 12-18) parents and caregivers can get their child safety seats checked at one of the thousands of free safety seat inspection stations set up across the country. Beginning with National Seat Check Saturday, September 12, English- and Spanish-speaking child passenger safety technicians will be on hand to answer questions and for help with proper installation of child safety seats. To find an inspection site near you visit http://www.nhtsa.gov/

NHTSA’s research shows child safety seat use is at an all-time high for children under the age of one. Last year, 99 percent of children ages 0-12 months old were secured as were 92 percent of children ages 1-3 years old and 89 percent of 4-7 years-olds. To view new research click here.

Unfortunately, research also indicated that three out of every four seats are used incorrectly. This figure includes errors in securing the child in the child seat and errors in attaching the child seat to the car. Some specific examples include using the wrong child restraint based on age and weight; incorrect installation of restraint to the vehicle seat; harness straps buckled too loosely; incorrect attachment of the vehicle safety belt to the child restraint and loose fit of seat belts across children in belt-positioning booster seats.

All 50 States, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and our territories, have laws requiring the use of safety seats for young children traveling in automobiles. In addition, 47 States have laws requiring booster seat use.

###
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Contact: Karen Aldana
Tel: 202-366-9550
OST 139-0

Sue Scheff: Vocational Education

Source: Connect with Kids

Vocational Education

“I think, just in general, in America people think that you have to go to college and you have to have a regular white-collared job - where you don’t get your hands dirty.”

– Debbie Brown, Career Coach and Consultant

The President’s Council of Economic Advisors reports that the jobs of tomorrow are nursing, construction, plumbing, and auto mechanics. We will need more workers for all of these and that means we may have to reconsider the value of vocational training.

The dream of 18-year-old Travis Murphy is to become an auto mechanic for Mercedes. “From what I’ve been told, [in] their first year they make around 40-thousand,” says Travis, “and then it just continuously goes up from there - with more certifications and experience.”

In the next five to ten years, the greatest job growth will be in plumbing, nursing and auto repair- all jobs that require vocational training or an associate’s degree.

But some kids don’t think highly of these jobs. “It is something that is, for certain populations, frowned upon - because it is not considered more of a professional job, says Debbie Brown, a career coach and consultant. “But those jobs can be very well-paying, depending on what you want to do and your skill level.”

Brown says that, while some blue-collar jobs like manufacturing and textiles are disappearing or getting outsourced, others, like plumbing, carpentry, and electrical work pay well and are in demand.

“If your car breaks down, you have to get it serviced if you want it to keep running,” she notes. “So sometimes people will put off repairs for a little bit, but they can’t put them off for too long.”

What’s more, she says, some students will enjoy physical jobs where they can work with their hands. “And there’s so many people who are just not suited to sitting in front of a desk,” says Brown.

If students choose a trade instead of college, she says, parents should help them get the best possible training. “Find out what the best trade and technical schools are in your community; two-year colleges, technical schools,” she advises. “Talk to these people, find out the best match in terms of the program for them - and get them into the best programs, so they can get the best skills and the best training.”

Travis, meanwhile, works on cars for half the day at his Vo-Tech school. When he graduates, he’ll spend a year and a half at a technical college. “And then after that I plan on taking the advanced test to get into the Mercedes Elite program, so I can go and be a certified Mercedes mechanic,” he says.

To be even more marketable, experts say, students can pursue certifications after they enter the workforce -to help them get the most complex, highest-paying assignments.

Tips for Parents

Vocational programs remain popular with many students despite the lingering misperception that such programs are for under-achievers and students who don’t plan to go to college. Teenagers are discovering that completing a program in vocational education can provide them with the knowledge and skills relevant to today’s job market.

Though of particular interest to those students who do not plan on going to college, the U.S. Department of Education says that skills gained from vocational education programs are also of importance to:

■The large number of students who need or want to combine work with college attendance.
■Those students who are unsure of their future education plans.
■Those students who plan to earn a subbaccalaureate degree, such as an associate’s degree.
■Those students who plan to enter a technical field for which a “hands-on” or applied curriculum provides valuable groundwork for more abstract study in later years.

Today’s vocational educational classes are interwoven into mainstream curriculum. Many students, including college prep students, take at least some coursework in vocational education. In fact, according to the National Center for Educational Statistics 96% of high school graduates have taken at least one career and technical education course.

The U.S. Department of Education says that over the past 15 years, the focus of vocational education has shifted from preparing students for entry level jobs in occupations requiring less that a baccalaureate degree toward a broader preparation that develops the academic, vocational, and technical skills of students.

References
■National Center for Educational Statistics
■U.S. Department of Education

Sue Scheff: Promoting Community Education

One of the most important parts of any community is the local school system, and it’s easy for concerned parents and good citizens to become intimately involved in some important aspects of school decisions.

Becoming involved with local schools helps decide the direction of the youth in your community, which is of the upmost importance for the success of any community system.

A simple way to begin your citizen school involvement is by attending school board meetings. School board meetings help decide most of the important aspects of a school’s future, including school curriculum, dress code policy, disciplinary measures, budgeting, hiring teachers, new school buildings, and a variety of other things.

This is one the best ways to be a part of local school decision making, and if your school board is elected it allows you to vote on school board members while understanding the types of administrative issues that my affecting your kid. At the very least, attending school board meetings provides you with a better understanding of how to be a productive citizen in both the community and school system.

Many schools also seek volunteer help. This work could include anything from grading papers to providing transportation on school field trips. Most public school systems in this country are overcrowded and underfunded, so any volunteer work is looked upon favorably and can help the schools function better. In the end, maintaining the education of our younger generation is always a major part of a good citizen’s workload.

Another great way to get involved in education is organizing after school programs. Many schools have after school programs that they coordinate with volunteers designed to give kids something productive to do after school. Keeping kids out of trouble after school and stimulating them with meaningful work is an excellent way to promote community involvement and healthy learning. Studies show that kids who participate in afterschool programs and extracurricular activities are much more likely to succeed in school then those who don’t.

Sue Scheff: Grandparents Raising Kids

I am actually hearing more and more of this weekly. Whether it is grandparents or other family members, this is becoming common.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Many times this decision is not made totally voluntarily. The grandparents take it on because they love and care for the child.”

– Nick Hume, Ph.D., Psychologist

The government reports that nearly 2.5 million grandparents in the U.S. are soley responsible for the care of their grandchildren. And being a parent the second time around can be rewarding and full of challenges.

Jean Rhodes is no longer just grandma. For the past five years she has become “mommy” once again.

Rhodes began raising her son’s daughter, Anasha, at age two after the little girl’s mom died and dad couldn’t care for her.

“I knew she depended on me…needed me, ” Rhodes says.

Six months ago another granddaughter needed her too…6-year-old Sasha. Giving up her freedom and independence was difficult at first for Rhodes, and she admits she was a bit resentful in the beginning.

“It was like, why me? Why do I have to do this again?” Rhodes says. “But that passed.”

Today, more than two million grandparents are now raising their grandkids. That number has been rising for nearly two decades.

And experts say that shifting of roles from grandparent to parent, from grandchild to child, can create a mix of emotions.

“There’s going to be natural hurt, anger, resentment, resistance and rebellion,” says Dr. Nick Hume, a psychologist.

There are also sacrifices, both emotional and financial.

“I didn’t have a lot of money to do a lot of things, but I tried to give Anasha love,” Rhodes says.

Experts say it’s important for grandparents to get support. “Find other people where you can share and talk; people who may be further along than you or in the same situation who will give you permission to say what you’re feeling is normal and okay,” says Dr. Hume.

Rhodes has found comfort in a grandparents’ support group, and in her role as mother…. the second time around.

“I wouldn’t hesitate,” she says, “to do this again.”

Tips for Parents

In any multigenerational family, grandparents are an important resource. But for increasing numbers of children, grandparents are their only resource. According to recently released US Census figures, 5.6 million grandparents live with their grandchildren. Of these grandparents, 42% (2.35 million) are responsible for the care of the children. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) provides the following breakdown of the figures:

■The number of grandparent-headed households has increased 76% since 1970, and 19% since 1990.
■Six percent of all U.S. children under age 18 are growing up in grandparent-headed households.
■One-point-three million of these grandparents are married couples, 1.1 million are single grandmothers, and 157,000 are grandfathers.
■The majority of grandparents are between ages 55 and 64. Almost one-quarter are over 65.
■While grandparent-headed families cross all socio-economic levels, these grandparents are more likely to live in poverty than other grandparents.
■There are eight times more children in grandparent-headed homes than in the foster care system.
Though motivated by love for their grandchildren, taking on the job of parenting can provide frustrating challenges to grandparents. Many grandparents are preparing to slow down. The transition to full-time parenting can cause feelings of resentment, anger, loss and grief. In addition to the emotional adjustment, grandparents face legal and financial challenges.

Often times, grandparents step in to fill the parenting role without gaining legal guardianship of the child. Obtaining custody and legal guardianship can involve a lengthy and costly court battle. In some states, grandparents who do not have legal guardianship cannot enroll a child in school, have access to school records or secure medical care.

The AARP provides this list of additional challenges facing grandparents who are raising grandchildren:

■Making financial decisions that may involve a grandparent’s employment or applying for benefits like Medicaid or Social Security.
■Choosing appropriate childcare, including daycare, after-school programs, and respite care.
■Providing adequate medical care, including getting insurance coverage through private insurance or public programs.
■Educating their grandchildren.
■Providing emotional support to their grandchildren and finding support for themselves.
The American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry says it is very important for grandparents to receive support and assistance. Seeking out other family members, clergy, support groups and social agencies can be helpful.

References
■American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
■American Association of Retired Persons
■United States Census Bureau

Sue Scheff: Parent Secrets in Bringing out the best in your ADHD Child

Source: ADDitude Magazine

5 Parent Secrets: Bring Out the Best In Your ADHD Child

How to foster happiness and success in ADHD children who need a little help unwrapping their special gifts.

by Edward Hallowell, M.D.

Every child is born with gifts. A child who has the fascinating trait called attention deficit disorder (ADHD) possesses extraordinary ones, but they may be hidden. And if they’re found, they can be tough to unwrap.

I hear from parents who say they need a plan to help them do that. Well, your wish has been granted. I have a five-step plan, called the cycle of excellence, which will reveal your ADHD child's gifts for all to see.

The plan works best if you love your child in the right way. First, try to catch her spirit and essence. Watch, listen, and interact with her, and don’t direct or worry about getting things done. Just hang out with her. You’ll come to see who your child is.

Before she gets labeled smart or stupid, hardworking or lazy, athletic or klutzy, friendly or taciturn, engaging or standoffish, before she gets labeled ADD or XYZ, a parent usually senses the beginnings of who her child is. Hold on to that!

Second, don’t listen much to the diagnosticians. Out of necessity, diagnosticians oversimplify. We miss the subtleties, the complexities, and the richness that makes up the spirit of a child. It is sad to see how many children lose that essence growing up. You can protect your child’s spirit by noticing it, naming it, and nourishing it.

The cycle of excellence will do the rest. I have used it many times — and have seen it used by other parents. The plan will help your child do more than get by in life. She will thrive and soar beyond where she, her teachers, and even you may have thought she could. Now let’s get started.

Read entire article: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/5408.html

Sue Scheff: Teenage Drivers

I try to post frequently about teens and when they learn to drive. It can be one of the scarest times to be a parents. Recently, one of my favorite websites, Tangerine Times, posted an article on Teenage Drivers. Read on:

Source: Tangerine Times

With the recent acquisition of the “beginner’s permit”, our 15 year old is now driving. I’m trying to provide plenty of driving time behind the wheel because familiarity with the vehicle is my first goal. So many driving incidents require the immediate reaction of the driver. As a driver, you need to respond automatically, without thinking. I’ve been driving so many years (we won’t get into THAT number) I could close my eyes and turn the wheel in the correct direction if I was given verbal commands.

Yesterday, in fact, I had a near miss with a Smart car driven by a teenager. He whipped in front of me (there were 2 lanes - I was in the left) from a side street then slammed on the brakes and turned on his left turn signal - just 100 yards from where he entered the street. I didn’t even think, I reacted and thankfully the drivers around me were watching, saw what was happening, and moved out of the way so I could swerve into the other lane slightly. I slammed on my brakes but would have rear-ended him handily if not for everyones’ co-operation. I was inches from making that Smart car into Oreo cookie - ( I drive a van).

So lately, I’ve been a little more attentive to articles about new drivers. And when I read a recent article from AAA that said, “teen drivers kill others more than they kill themselves.” I thought, ok…can we take out the word KILL??? According to the article, AAA analyzed the crash data collected over the last decade by it’s Foundation for Traffic Safety and found that while deadly crashes are down overall, teenage drivers are still at least twice as lethal to other people as they are to themselves.

The analysis shows that about one-third of people killed in crashes involving drivers ages 15 to 17 are teen drivers themselves. Nearly two-thirds are passengers, occupants of other vehicles, pedestrians, cyclists and other road users. “For every teen driver killed in a crash, almost twice as many other people die, which underscores the link between teen drier safety and the safety of everyone on the road,” said AAA President and CEO Robert L. Darbeinet.

Nationally, between 1998 and 2007, crashes involving 15, 16 and 17-year old drivers killed 28,138 people of whom (36%) were teen drivers themselves. The remaining 17,750 (63%) deaths included 8,829 passengers of the drivers. AAA believes the slight drop is significant and points to it as evidence that improved teen licensing systems, especially the graduated driver licensing program, has made an impact.

Graduated Drivers License Programs Seem to Work

States with comprehensive Graduated Drivers License systems, overall, have been shown to reduce deaths among 16-year-old drivers by 38%.
Choice of Vehicle

Because most young people don’t usually have much money, they often drive older cars that don’t have the latest safety equipment — airbags, ABS, traction control and the like.

Second, because their vehicles are older, they may have more service issues that compromise their safety, such as worn brakes, tired shocks, bald tires, and so on.

Lastly, to save money, young people often choose economy boxes and small pickups, which have smaller crumple zones and fewer safety features.

Too many passengers

This last point is frequently overlooked, but has drawn attention recently. In a new study conducted by Johns Hopkins University School of Hygiene and Public Health, researchers discovered that the risk of deadly accidents among young drivers rose sharply with each additional passenger. The study, which looked at the driving habits of 16- and 17-year-old drivers, revealed a strong correlation between the number of passengers in a car and the risk of a fatal wreck.

For example, a 16 year old with three or more passengers faces nearly three times the risk of a fatal wreck as one driving alone. The study also found that young drivers are much more likely to engage in dangerous activates — drinking or using drugs, speeding, swerving, running red lights — when they are carrying their friends as passengers in the car. In California, we have a law that prevents other teenagers from riding in the cars with first time drivers (for the first year of their license).

Now…if we can only figure out a way to sit in the passenger seat while your teenage child is driving and NOT tense up. That would be a good trick. I can’t say I enjoy the experience as much as I thought I would.

Sue Scheff: Inspirational Parenting

Inspirational Parenting is a site dedicated to that which uplifts and inspires those special people who make the world go round… parents. Anyone can post a parenting story, experience, article, or whatever you want as long as it deals with parenting. Registration is required so that content can be controlled to a degree. Registration is free and is done by clicking the “Register” button on the top left of any page.

We look forward to reading about your inspirational parenting experiences!

Visit http://inspirationalparenting.com/ and learn more!

Sue Scheff: Parenting Teens Website

Sue Blaney empowers, educates and connects parents of teenagers. She is the author of Please Stop the Rollercoaster! How Parents of Teenagers Can Smooth Out the Ride, the acclaimed guide for parents and parent discussion groups that has helped thousands of parents around the country improve relationships with their teens.

Her popular blog and websites www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com and www.ParentingTeensInfo.com feature valuable content including free parenting articles, podcasts, tips and newsletters.

She is a frequent speaker and advises parents of teenagers, secondary school educators and faith-based educators in ways to increase parent engagement, improve communication and create parent discussion groups. With a background as a Certified Professional Behavior Analyst, Sue is a communications expert and has spent 30 years in training, marketing, publishing and sales. She is the founder of ChangeWorks Publishing & Consulting Co.

Sue Scheff: Parenting, Teens and Cyberspace

Vanessa Van Petten is always keeping parents up to date through her valuable website called OnTeensToday. I love getting her latest articles, they always educate us as to what our kids may be going through in today’s generation of life as they live it.

Here is this week’s blast of news for you - and the topic is one that every parent needs to take the time to learn about. Digital Kids!

5 Code Cracking Perspectives on Digital Kids

I post a lot about kids online and Growing Up Online Series. Recently, after going on my media tour with Symantec on their new Parental Control Software, my mind was opened to a bunch of new issues and their solutions…please read on:

1) Curiosity vs. Obsession

Many parents have found their kids on a porn website and pro-anorexia site and has freaked out. Before breaking out the handcuffs and throwing the computer out the window, I think there needs to be a distinction between what is simple adolescent curiosity and what is a real problem. I am just going to say it, I do not think a teenager checking out a porn site once or twice is that big of a deal. We have all wondered…there becomes an issue when it becomes a habit. No matter if it is once or 100 times, either way parents should talk to their kids about what they have seen. Your kid might be more disturbed by what they saw than you know, and you need to be there for them.
Top 10 Tips For Helping Your Kids Avoid Online Porn

2) Intention

One of the members of the Norton Online Family Advisory Council made a wonderful point about the intention of what your kids are searching for or how they got to a bad site. Often times children and kids will often mistype or click accidentally on a website that happens to take them to somewhere inappropriate. Then, if the parent checks the web history or has a spyware product (Review of Parental Control Software), they freak out and punish the child. I ask that you try to find out what your child’s intention was going to that site or carrying out their behavior online. This holds true for Cyberbullying, posting on social networks and cursing on IM chats…why, this can greatly affect the punishment, consequence or outcome.

3) Forensic Parents

Marian Merritt, of Symantec, told a great story about when she saw that her daughter had accidentally visited a voyeur porn site. Like a detective, she used her the Norton parental control software to work backwards to figure out what had happened before freaking out. Her daughter, 14, had searched “Bride Wars” into Google. This had taken her to Youtube. There she watched a number of videos and trailers for the movie. Then, in one of the comments, someone had posted a link that said “if you like these clips, check out this one!” This link took her to a porn site. After this, Marian went to talk to her and her daughter was relieved (but never would have come to her on her own) and was upset about what she saw. She actually asked Marian to turn on the blockers for those sites in the future. Often times, kids do not want to go on those forbidden sites as much as you do not want them to.

4) Facebook is the new Playground

I am often asked by freaked out parents if they could just ‘unplug’ the internet and not allow their kids online to avoid all the dangers. This is not realistic. 20 years ago, parents could prevent their children from going on the playground to avoid a bully, but this would have taught their kids resilience, or how to handle it if and when they were bullied. Teaching kids to measure that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of their stomach, ask for help when they need it and where to ask needs to be learned by letting them live a little online. Resilience is key.

5) Protect Them and Tell Them

I had a teen client go to college recently and get a new computer. Within a few weeks it was totally unusable because of a virus that had been downloaded. When we asked the teen why they had clicked on some of these unreliable downloads, he said that in the past he had done it and nothing had happened. This is because his parents, being awesome parents, had always either blocked dangerous popups with parental control software and/or had really great virus protection on their computer, but they never told him! It has always been done for him and so when he was on his own, he learned the hard way. If you are protecting your kids or your computer, let them know hat you are doing and how you are doing it so they do not take it for granted!

The majority of kids do not want to do bad things online. They want to play games, share pictures and watch silly Youtube videos. Know the intention if something goes wrong, try to work backwards and always work on teaching resilience and self-reliance in the online world. Parenting and going online are no longer separate, they are one in the same.

Sue Scheff: Education.com

Are you a parent? Do you have a toddler? Elementary School? Middle School? Or High School?

From toddlers to teens, Education.com has a wide variety of Parenting Blogs, Articles, Advices, Books and more. Take time to be an educated parent!

Sue Scheff: NextGenParenting - Launches on January 1st 2009

Kids nowadays are different from the previous generation. They have mobile phones with textbooks stored inside, with computers and laptops that connects to Facebook and YouTube. Some even begin to make money faster than their parents.

Apart from that, they are smarter, most probably caused by the food they eat, or even their surrounding.

At present, this is Generation X, Y and Z, or simply said, the new Millenials.So as a parent, the challenges to educate and teach them is very different from they way our parents educate and teach us.

NextGen Parenting is founded for that purpose.

NextGen Parenting is going to launch on 1 January 2009 and currently are looking for volunteers to blog and contribute articles and content to the site.

Contributions in any way are welcome. If you are interested to volunteer to the cause bringing up the next generation more effectively, email vince@nextgenparenting.com and joann@nextgenparenting.com

Sue Scheff: Parenting Tips, Parenting Websites, Parenting Advice, Parenting Books and more

Parenting Blogs - Parenting Articles - Parenting Websites - Parent Advice - Parenting Tips and more!

When you visit www.suescheffbooks.blogspot.com I keep an up-to-date listing of books, websites, blogs and other parenting information to help you help your child. Today's generation of adolescents has become more challenging for parents. Be an educated parent - stay informed and learn more about today's peer pressures.

Kids Not Prepared for College?

Even with a diploma in hand, many high school graduates do not have all of the skills necessary to succeed in college-level coursework or workforce training.

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Understanding Teen Decision Making

What was he thinking? How could she? If you find yourself wondering what your teen was thinking, the answer may be “not much.” Kids often make snap judgments based on impulse, especially when situations come up quickly, leaving teens ...

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Dealing with Bullying

Sue Scheff, Founder of Parents Universal Resource Experts: As school is opening throughout the country, it is time for parents to be prepared - not only helping their kids academically, but dealing with today's peer pressure which can include bullying and cyberbullying. Learn more.

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Problem parents contribute to teen drug use

A survey on substance abuse among teens was released this morning that really lowers the boom on parents.

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Teens Sneaking Into R-Rated Movies

Teens sneak into movies using a variety of different methods. Some create or buy fake IDs, others try to bribe the ticket box office worker (usually a school friend) while others purchase tickets for a G-rated movie, enter the theater and then sneak into the R-rated film of their choice.

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