Sue Scheff: Parenting Solutions to Help Kids Really Say No To Peer Pressure

By Michele Borba

What were you thinking?” “But didn’t you tell the kids it wasn’t right?” “You did what?!!@!”

Are you concerned that your kid always seems to go along with the crowd? Does she have a tough time speaking up and letting her opinions be known? Have you noticed that your child can be easily swayed to do what the other kids want? Some kids may call him a Wimp or a Scaredy Cat, your terms may be more along the lines of submissive, follower or even push over. This may not seem such a big deal now, but peer pressure gets nothing but tougher as kids get older. After all, if he has a tough time saying “no” to the tamer dilemmas of younger kids, fast forward your concerns to the kinds of wilder, scarier issues he may face later. And there is cause for some concern. A Time/Nickelodeon survey of 991 kids ages nine to fourteen revealed 36 percent feel pressure from peers to smoke marijuana, 40 percent feel pressure to have sex, 36 percent feel pressure to shoplift, and four out of ten feel pressure to drink.

Here’s the good news though: assertive skills can be taught to kids. Though it is never too late, the sooner parents start boosting this friendship skill builder, the greater your child’s confidence will be in social settings, and the easier you’ll sleep. Here are a few strategies from my book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, you can use to help your child buck the negative peer pressure and stand up to peers.


•Bring the issue into the open. If your kid is suffering from a lack of assertive skills, it may be very hard for him to talk about this problem so take the lead. “I noticed during play group today Johnny told you to throw sand in the sink, and you did it. You know better. So let’s talk about why you went along.” “You know Rene’s house is off limits, but you went along with the group anyway. You have to learn to stand up to your friends and do what you know is right.”

•Share your beliefs. Parents who raise assertive kids who can stand up for their beliefs don’t do so by accident. They make sure their children know what they stand for. “In our family we don’t watch violent movies. Plain and simple. So tell your friends you can’t go.” “I don’t care if all your friends use four-letter words, for you that’s forbidden.” “The next time a friend dares you to smoke a cigarette, just stand up and walk out. You need to stick up for what you know is right. I know how much you hate smoking.”

•Stop rescuing. If your role has been apologizing, explaining, or basically “doing” for your child, then stop. You child will never learn how to stand up for himself. Instead, he’ll forever by relying on you.

•Model assertiveness. If you want your child to be confident, assertive, and stand up for his beliefs, make sure you display those behaviors. Kids mimic what they see.

•Teach how to say no. Ask your child to choose phrases he is most comfortable using. “No” can be said alone: “NO!” It can also be followed by a reason: “No, it’s just not my style.” “No thanks. My parents would kill me.” “No, I don’t feel like doing that.” “No, I don’t want to.” “No. I have to get home and I’m already late.” The child could suggest an alternative: “No. Let’s think of something else.” “Nope. How bout we go to the skate park instead?” Tell your child it’s not his job to change your friend’s mind, but to stay true to his beliefs.

•Teach confident body language. Push-over kids usually stand with heads down, shoulders slumped, arms and knees quivering, and eyes downcast. So even if he says “no” to his friends, his body sends a far different message and his words will have little credibility. So it’s crucial to teach your child assertive body posture: hold your head high, shoulders slightly back, look your friend in the eye and use a confident, firm tone of voice. It will help your child see what the confident body posture looks like so she can use it herself. So role play with your child the “confident look” and the “hesitant look.” Then encourage your child to be on the look-out for “confident” or “hesitant” posture in other people. Look everywhere: at the mall, on the playground, even television and movie actors. Soon your child will instantly be able to spot confident posture and copy and use it himself.

•Use a firm voice. Emphasize the tone of your child’s voice is often more important than what he says. So tell your child to speak in a strong tone of voice. No yelling or whispering. Be friendly but determined. Just tell the friend where you stand. A simple “No” or “No, I don’t want to” is fine.

•Reinforce assertiveness. If you want to raise a child who can stand up for his beliefs, then reinforce any and all efforts your child makes to be assertive and stand up for his beliefs. “I know that was tough telling your friends you had to leave early to make your curfew. I’m proud you were able to stand up to them and not just go along.”

•Hold family debates. The best way for kids to learn to express themselves is right at home, so why not start “Family Debates” or if you prefer the more gentler-sounding approach: “Family Meetings”?

Start by setting these five rules:

1. Everyone is listened to.

2. No putdowns are allowed.

3. You may disagree, but do so respectfully.

4. Talk calmly.

5. Everyone gets a turn.

Topics can be the hot button issues in the world, in school or right in your home. Here are just a few discussion possibilities: house rules, sibling conflicts, allowances, chores, curfews, parent-set movie restrictions. “Real world” issues could include: reparations, the Iraq War, the draft, lowering the voting age, legalizing drugs. Whatever the topic, encourage your hesitant child’s to speak up and be heard.

•Don’t tolerate excuses. You’ve been working on these skills, but your child is still agreeing to do things she knows are wrong to go along with the group such as going to sneaking into a R-rated movie or using bad words. If this happens, be sure to take clear action to reestablish your rules and your child’s need to stand up to peer pressure

It’s not always easy to buck the crowd. Everyone wants to be liked. But for your child’s own self-confidence, independence and future success in life, it’s important he learn to stand up to a friend. So continue to encourage each and effort he makes, and help him practice the skills of assertiveness until he can confidently use them alone. And above all, remember simple changes can reap big results. So don’t give up.

For daily parenting solutions follow Michele on twitter @micheleborba

Sue Scheff: Children, Tweens and Teens - Recovering from Divorce

Source: Connect with Kids

Recovering from Divorce

“You can give that child a sense of, ‘we may not be doing this perfect, obviously things didn’t work well, but we’re always looking for a better way and you’re still our child. We care about you, we care about each other and we want you to be happy and healthy’.”

– Winny Rush, M.Ed., Intervention Specialist

A new university study following thousands of kids for 20 years reports that children of divorced parents are more likely to become school drop-outs than kids whose parents stick together. The study confirms the hardship of divorce on kids, but how kids cope depends a lot on the parents.

Devon’s parents divorced when he was 13.

“You really lose your grip so easily when things aren’t alright at home,” says Devon.
He says the constant fighting between his parents took its toll. “I found that most of the time, like I was acting out in school, I’d be kind of the violent angry kid.”

Today -- six years later -- Devon says he’s worked through the anger and the pain. And looking back, he says the divorce provided a new beginning for him.

“It’s more positive,” he says. “You can be with somebody you love -- I love my mom and she loves me -- I can be with my dad another time -- I love him, he loves me, you know. But when it all comes together, it just doesn’t get along.”

Experts say the paradox of divorce is that it’s hard on children, especially young kids, and often leaves them feeling angry and alienated. But it is also a way to end the war between parents.

“It’s like there’s no more fighting, there’s no more fear … it’s a completion,” says Intervention Specialist Winny Rush, M.Ed. “And then you can go on to a sense of understanding and acceptance.”

Experts say these research results challenge a common assumption: that divorce leaves children emotionally scarred for life.

“They’re resilient and we do learn to adapt, especially children who are given no choice,” says Rush.

She adds that how well a child adapts depends in part on the parents. “If the children see their parents healthy and happy after the divorce, I think it’s probably not as bad as they thought it was,” says Rush.

For children whose parents are going through a divorce, Devon says it may be painful now, but he adds, “Know that you can deal with it. It’s not the end. It’s just a different path to take.”

Tips for Parents
The debate continues as to how divorce affects children, but one thing remains certain – they are affected. Children will typically experience certain feelings and emotions; the magnitude of those feelings largely depends on the child’s relationship with the parents before the divorce, the intensity and duration of any disagreements, and whether or not the parents put the child’s feelings above their own throughout the divorce. The most common emotions children feel are listed below, organized by Kathleen O’Connell Corcoran, of e-Mediation Information and Resource Center.

■Denial – This occurs particularly in young children and often surfaces as story-telling. For instance, a child may say, “Mommy and Daddy and me are going to Disneyland,” or “We're moving into a duplex and Daddy will live next door.” Children in denial will also have reconciliation fantasies.
■Abandonment – When parents separate, children worry about who will take care of them. They are afraid that they, too, are “divorceable” and will be abandoned by one or both of their parents. This problem is made worse if parents take the children into their confidence and/or talk negatively about the other parent in front of the children. Parents need to avoid using language such as, "Daddy is divorcing us." Parents should also avoid being late for school or carpool pick-up, or abducting the children, as these actions increase children’s insecurities. Children who are feeling insecure say things that are intended to evoke a “mama bear/papa bear” response (a demonstration of protectiveness). If children do not have "permission" to have a good relationship with the other parent, or if they think they need to "take care of" one of their parents in the divorce, they are likely to have feelings of divided loyalties between their parents. In extreme cases, they may become triangulated with one parent against the other.
■Preoccupation with information – Children will want details of what is happening and how it affects them. Communication from the parents needs to be unified and age-appropriate.
■Anger and hostility – Children may express anger and hostility with peers, siblings or parents. School performance may be impaired. A child’s hostility is often directed at the parent that he/she perceives is at fault. Hostility turned inward looks like depression in children.
■Depression – Symptoms can include lethargy, sleep and eating disturbances, acting out, social withdrawal and/or physical injury (more common in adolescents).
■Immaturity/hyper-maturity – Children may regress to an earlier developmental stage when they felt assured of both parents' love. They may "baby-talk" or wet their beds. Or, children may become "parentified" by what they perceive to be the emotional and physical needs of their parents.
■Preoccupation with reconciliation – The more conflict there is between the parents, the longer children hold onto the notion of their parents' reconciliation. To the child, conflict shows that the parents are not "getting on" with their lives. Children will often act out in ways that force their parents to interact (negatively or positively). Children whose parents were very confrontational during the marriage often mistake the strong emotions of conflict with intimacy. They see the parents as engaged in an intimate relationship.
■Blame and guilt – Because so much marital conflict may be related to the stress of parenting, children often feel responsible for their parents' divorce; they feel that somehow their behavior contributed to it. This is especially true when parents fight during exchanges about the children or in negotiating schedules – children see this as their parents “fighting over them.” Children may try to bargain their parents back together by promises of good behavior; they may have difficulty with transitions or refuse to go with the other parent.
■Acting out – Children will often act out their own anger and their parents' anger. In an attempt to survive in a hostile environment, children will often take the side of the parent they are presently with. This may manifest in refusals to talk to the other parent on the phone or reluctance to share time with the other parent. Adolescents will typically act out in ways similar to how the parents are acting out.
For parents going through divorce, it is easy to become overwhelmed if your child is exhibiting the behaviors listed above.

According to Dr. Rex Forehand, from the Institute of Behavioral Research at the University of Georgia, “many parents of divorce believe they have done irreversible damage to their children because of the parents’ permanent separation. However, many of the problems children experience following parental divorce are not due merely to the separation from one parent. Recent research indicates that children’s adjustment following parental divorce is dependent, to a large extent, on the situation existing after the divorce.”

It is important for parents to keep in mind that it’s not too late – they still can play a huge role in their child’s positive development and attitude. Dr. Forehand suggests the following tips to help minimize the negative effects of divorce:

■Both parents should work to maintain a positive relationship with their child. This serves as a buffer against the stresses of divorce, and assures the child of the parents’ continued love.
■Parents should subject the child to as few environmental and structural changes as possible (e.g. have the child attend the same school, continue to live in the same home, etc.). It is particularly important to maintain consistency regarding the child’s standard of living. For this reason, regular child support payments are often critical.
■Ex-spouses should not argue or fight in the child’s presence. This is perhaps the most important issue related to a child’s adjustment following parental divorce. The amount of parental conflict that the child sees (e.g. regarding visitation, custody, child support, etc.) is directly related to their level of adjustment.
■Consistent discipline is very important. Both parents should use similar age-appropriate discipline techniques with their children. Limits on what is and is not acceptable behavior for their children should also be consistent between the two homes.
■The child should not be used as a messenger in parental communications. He/she should never be asked to communicate messages such as “tell your dad that he is late with the child support payment.”
■Likewise, the child should never be used as a spy. Parents should not ask their child questions about the other parent’s life (e.g. questions about whom the parent is dating).
■Parents should not use the child as an ally in parental battles, and in fact, should avoid bringing the child into battles. Trying to get the child to take sides usually results in damaging the child’s relationship with both parents.
■The parents should never put down the other spouse in front of their child. It is important to remember the ex-spouse is still the child’s parent (no matter how much anger or resentment there is).
■The child should not be burdened with the parents’ personal fears and concerns. Unfortunately, many divorced parents turn to their children for support. This almost always has a negative impact on children and adolescents because they are rarely capable of handling such stress. Children have enough difficulty with their own adjustment without the added burden of their parents’ problems.
■It is usually in the child’s best interest to have a consistent pattern of frequent visits with the non-custodial parent. Frequent cancellations, long periods of no contact, and sporadic visitation schedules often have a detrimental effect on the child.
References
■Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
■The Mediation Information and Resource Center
■The University of Georgia – Institute for Behavioral Research

Sue Scheff: ADD/ADHD Summer Program in N. Florida

Don't miss this exciting event! Check out the YouTube experience of Drop Your Reins! http://www.searchamelia.com/2009/07/08/drop-your-reins-experience-in-yulee-on-july-11/

Source: SearchAmelia.com

A couple of weeks ago we had the pleasure of seeing a young lady by the name of Danielle Herb perform horsemanship of very impressive caliber. SearchAmelia was invited to come and film a clinic that 15 year old Danielle gives to primarily ADHD and Autistic children: The central focus being mastering your fears and anxieties through body movements.

Prior to the start of the clinic we interviewed Danielle and her mother Maryanne and learned that Danielle was diagnosed as severe ADHD at age 5 and went on the long and hard road since then to master her fears and illness in a natural way, in her case through interaction with beautiful horses. She proudly called herself the Horse Listener, as she explained how a horse reflects and mirrors human action, gives and takes and ultimately how communication and clarity claim victory.

After years of preparation Danielle started holding clinics for children with similar problems several months ago and soon found that the results were remarkable. The Drop Your Reins Experience was born.

Drop Your Reins Experience in Yulee on July 11
By Editor on July 8, 2009

Successful Closing of Clinic 5
A couple of weeks ago we had the pleasure of seeing a young lady by the name of Danielle Herb perform horsemanship of very impressive caliber. SearchAmelia was invited to come and film a clinic that 15 year old Danielle gives to primarily ADHD and Autistic children: The central focus being mastering your fears and anxieties through body movements.

Prior to the start of the clinic we interviewed Danielle and her mother Maryanne and learned that Danielle was diagnosed as severe ADHD at age 5 and went on the long and hard road since then to master her fears and illness in a natural way, in her case through interaction with beautiful horses. She proudly called herself the Horse Listener, as she explained how a horse reflects and mirrors human action, gives and takes and ultimately how communication and clarity claim victory.

After years of preparation Danielle started holding clinics for children with similar problems several months ago and soon found that the results were remarkable. The Drop Your Reins Experience was born.

This Saturday SearchAmelia.TV will have another film crew at the scene of the Cheers Ranch in Yulee for the second installment of The Drop Your Reins Experience which will soon be shown as a full hour documentary on Comcast Channel 29 or Digital Cable #264

Parents and Children/Teens Facing Fears and Challenges should pay attention at how The Cheers Ranch of Yulee is offering a special experiential hands on learning “Experience” utilizing Natural Horsemanship. Through fun experiential equine activities, children build upon their natural strengths to enhance communication, problem-solving and social skills and increase self-confidence in a safe, educational and recreational atmosphere.

Parents and children are faced with many challenges today including peer pressure, bullying, poor grades, lack of self esteem, bouncing off the walls and lack of focus to name a few. The clinic will be held this Saturday from 9 am to 12 pm at the beautiful 24-acre campus of Cheers Ranch on 96841 Blackrock Rd., Yulee, FL. Space is limited and offered on a first come basis, the press release states.

Danielle Herb and her mother Marianne St. Clair of Drop Your Reins invite children and parents to gain a new perspective on life and their beliefs about what is possible when confronted with ADHD and Autism.

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse - Huffing and Sniffing

Source: Inhalant.org

WHAT IS INHALANT ABUSE?

Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of common products found in homes and communities with the purpose of "getting high." Inhalants are easily accessible, legal, everyday products.

When used as intended, these products have a useful purpose in our lives and enhance the quality of life, but when intentionally misused, they can be deadly. Inhalant Abuse is a lesser recognized form of substance abuse, but it is no less dangerous.

Inhalants are addictive and are considered to be "gateway" drugs because children often progress from inhalants to illegal drug and alcohol abuse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that one in five American teens have used Inhalants to get high.

Huffing, Sniffing, Dusting and BaggingInhalation is referred to as huffing, sniffing, dusting or bagging and generally occurs through the nose or mouth. Huffing is when a chemically soaked rag is held to the face or stuffed in the mouth and the substance is inhaled. Sniffing can be done directly from containers, plastic bags, clothing or rags saturated with a substance or from the product directly. With Bagging, substances are sprayed or deposited into a plastic or paper bag and the vapors are inhaled. This method can result in suffocation because a bag is placed over the individual's head, cutting off the supply of oxygen.

Other methods used include placing inhalants on sleeves, collars, or other items of clothing that are sniffed over a period of time. Fumes are discharged into soda cans and inhaled from the can or balloons are filled with nitrous oxide and the vapors are inhaled. Heating volatile substances and inhaling the vapors emitted is another form of inhalation. All of these methods are potentially harmful or deadly. Experts estimate that there are several hundred deaths each year from Inhalant Abuse, although under-reporting is still a problem.

What Products Can be Abused?

There are more than a 1,400 products which are potentially dangerous when inhaled, such as typewriter correction fluid, air conditioning coolant, gasoline, propane, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane, cooking spray, paint, and glue. Most are common products that can be found in the home, garage, office, school or as close as the local convenience store. The best advice for consumers is to read the labels before using a product to ensure the proper method is observed.

It is also recommended that parents discuss the product labels with their children at age-appropriate times. The following list represents categories of products that are commonly abused.

List of Products used for Huffing and Sniffing

Sue Scheff: Psychotherapies For Children/Teenagers

By Kara Tamanini

Psychotherapies For Children/Teenagers

When parents or caregivers bring their children in for psychological counseling, there are a number of different psychotherapies that counselors can use in treatment. Therapy with children involves either play or having a conversation between the therapist and the child and his/her family. Psychotherapy with children involves different strategies and approaches and the therapist will use the strategy that best fits your child as well as a therapy that can best treat the particular problem/s. When choosing a therapist for your child, you may want to ask which approach they typically use in treatment as well as which particular model of psychotherapy they were trained in and are the most familiar with.

A summary of the different psychotherapies for children/adolescents are as follows:

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)- This type of therapy targets teaching children that their thoughts and feelings can and do influence their behaviors. CBT teaches the child to identify negative thought patterns and the therapist teaches them how to replace these thoughts with more positive ones. This treatment is usually used in treating children with anxiety disorders and mood disorders (ie.. depression).

Family Therapy-focuses on helping the entire family function in a more positive way. The target in treatment is usually on teaching the family members a better way of communicating and psychoeducation is usually involved.

Play Therapy-this type of therapy is usually used with smaller children and the therapist will incorporate using toys, games, puzzles, drawings, etc… The goal is to observe how the child plays in order to identify how to child copes and deals with everyday problems. The goal is to help the child lean how to recognize and eventually verbalize their feelings.

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy-this therapy emphasizes helping a child/teen be able to understand the issues that causing them distress and how it affects their feelings, thoughts, behaviors. This type of therapy is usually used with older children and teenagers and is used with children that have a good deal of insight into their problems as it involves being able to identify behavioral patterns, how they cope with stressors, as well as how they respond to inner conflicts.

While this list of psychotherapies is by no means conclusive, these are some common psychotherapies used when treating children or adolescents in a mental health setting. When bringing your child/teen in for mental health treatment, be prepared with questions that you would like to ask your child’s therapist about how psychotherapy works and which treatment he or she will use.

Learn more at www.kidsawarenessseries.com

Sue Scheff: Steps parents can take to protect their teenagers online reputation

Source: Examiner

By Heather Marlman

As more and more teenagers are taking part in social network sites such as Facebook and MySpace, it’s becoming more and more important for parents to take an active role in helping to protect their teens online reputation.

There are steps that all parents can take to make sure their teenager is playing things smart when they go online both in the text and photos that they post on these social profiles. By taking an active role parents can be certain that the online reputation of their teenager isn’t tarnished.

Talk to your teen

This is a good time to have a conversation with your teenager about their online “image”. Most teenagers are fairly self conscious about their reputation among their peers, however many of them fail to recognize that what may bee seen as cool or funny to their friends is viewed as suggestive or irresponsible to other adults. Remind them that a growing number of college admissions staff and employers are looking at the online profiles of their applicants and using the information they find to base their decisions.

Google your teen

Typing in your teenagers name can sometimes reveal some startling results. Make a point to do a Google search on your teen to find out what information you can find. While your teenager may see this as a form of “spying”, remind them that you are only using the same resources that the entire world has available. If you can find it then so can anyone else.

Join their networks

Not every parent is well versed in the world of social networking but having a teenager often means that it’s time to take a crash course. Create your own profiles on networks such as Facebook and MySpace and add your teenager as one of your contacts. If your teenager uses Twitter, create an account and follow them.

Creating online profiles gives you the ability to let you see what they are posting for the rest of their friends to see. Again, this is not a way of spying on your teenager. It’s a way of creating an open door policy between parent and child.

Encourage adult friends and family members to also add your teen as one of their contacts as a way of further policing the information that they post online.

While these may seem like extreme measures, often teenagers say and do things because they are unaware of the potential consequences. If you find material on any of these social networking sites that you consider inappropriate, make it a point to discuss it with your teenager without being too harsh. Often teens do things that adults may see as inappropriate when they were merely intending to be funny. Discussing the difference in the way things appear to adults is a good way to help shift your teen from the world of being a child to the world of being grown up.

More resources for both parents and teenagers in ways to protect your online reputation will be made available through Project Pro and distributed to high school counselors.

You might also find these articles useful:
What is your teeangers online reputation?
Is your teenager 'sexting'?

Sue Scheff: Is your family moving this summer? Moving Stress and Teens

During summer months some families are moving, which can mean changing schools, friends and your familiar neighborhood. If you are in this situation, take the time to read these parenting tips and advice to help create a smoother transition for your child.

Source: Connect with Kids

Moving Stress

“I was sad because I was gonna leave my friends.”

– Amber Griffin, 7

Just a few months ago when their mom said they were moving, Amber, 7, and D’Marcus, 9, had mixed emotions.

“She talked to me first, and I was excited. But I was a little bit sad because, I was sad because I was gonna leave my friends,” says Amber.

“I was afraid of how we were gonna know who our teachers would be, yeah, and how are we gonna know if we have the right things they use in school?” says D’Marcus.

Roughly 16 million American families move each year. And the adjustment can be hard on kids. One of the keys to making it easier is time. Psychologist Gary Santavicca says, “In general, the more preparation you have, the easier a transition is.”

So, he says, start talking about the move as early as possible. And include the kids. Have them get online to learn about the new city’s zoo, their new school or the nearest park. “Different things to help them feel like they’re helping to make it happen, and it’s a family project,” he says.

The kids’ mom, Catherine Mitchell, says she tried to do just that. “I let them know that we were doing this as a family and that it’s not that mom is moving, but that we’re moving as a family,” she says. And she was upbeat about the new town, new school and making new friends. “The bottom line is we communicated throughout the entire transition. We kept a positive attitude. I kept a positive attitude for them.”

And it worked. The kids have made new friends, love their school and have advice for other kids. D’Marcus says: “I would say you shouldn’t be nervous. You should just go ahead and do it and try to meet new people.” And Amber adds, “You don’t have to be afraid, because it’s gonna be okay.”

Tips for Parents
Pressures that are too intense or last too long, or troubles that are shouldered alone, can cause people to feel stress overload. Here are some of the things from the Nemours Foundation that can overwhelm the body's ability to cope if they continue for a long time:

■Being bullied or exposed to violence or injury
■Relationship stress, family conflicts, or the heavy emotions that can accompany a broken heart or the death of a loved one
■Ongoing problems with schoolwork related to a learning disability or other problems, such as ADHD (usually once the problem is recognized and the person is given the right learning support the stress disappears)
■Crammed schedules, not having enough time to rest and relax, and always being on the go
The most helpful method of dealing with stress is learning how to manage the stress that comes along with any new challenge, good or bad. Stress-management skills work best when they're used regularly, not just when the pressure's on. Knowing how to "de-stress" and doing it when things are relatively calm can help you get through challenging circumstances that may arise. Here are some tips that can help keep stress under control:

■Take a stand against overscheduling. If you're feeling stretched, consider cutting out an activity or two, opting for just the ones that are most important to you.
■Be realistic. Don't try to be perfect - no one is. And expecting others to be perfect can add to your stress level, too (not to mention put a lot of pressure on them!). If you need help on something, like schoolwork, ask for it.
■Get a good night's sleep. Getting enough sleep helps keep your body and mind in top shape, making you better equipped to deal with any negative stressors. Because the biological "sleep clock" shifts during adolescence, many teens prefer staying up a little later at night and sleeping a little later in the morning. But if you stay up late and still need to get up early for school, you may not get all the hours of sleep you need.
■Learn to relax. The body's natural antidote to stress is called the relaxation response. It's your body's opposite of stress, and it creates a sense of well-being and calm. The chemical benefits of the relaxation response can be activated simply by relaxing. You can help trigger the relaxation response by learning simple breathing exercises and then using them when you're caught up in stressful situations.
■Treat your body well. Experts agree that getting regular exercise helps people manage stress. (Excessive or compulsive exercise can contribute to stress, though, so as in all things, use moderation.) And eat well to help your body get the right fuel to function at its best. It's easy when you're stressed out to eat on the run or eat junk food or fast food. But under stressful conditions, the body needs its vitamins and minerals more than ever.
References
■Centers for Disease Control
■Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff: Drop Your Reins Event - Peaceful Solutions for ADHD/ADD & Autistic Children Using Natural Horsemanship

Drop Your Reins Presents Danielle Herb’s “The Experience”
at Cheer Horse Ranch - July 11, 2009

CHEER recognizes the challenges young people face as they mature in our society. There are demands on their time and focus that we’re not a part of growing up 20 years ago.

CHEER strives to guide the emotional development of our young friends through a healthy interaction with horses. By offering this interaction, CHEER will provide a foundation of life lessons aimed at allowing people to navigate their future with dignity, grace and caring.

CHEER has a mission and a goal to help manage growth and has an eye to create happy children and content horses .

We togther will utilize the unique human-equestrian interaction in a collarborative endeavor to enrich the emotional lives of our friends by:

*Teaching selflessness through caring of others
*Fostering self-confidence through nonjudgemental relationships
*Discovering self-reliance through doing
*Promoting self-esteem through healthy interdepedence
*Instilling pride through accomplishment
*Developing accountability through responsibility
*Encouraging enthusiasm for life through wholesome challenge
*Cultivating patience through understanding

Learn more and contact Danielle Herb at http://www.dropyourreins.com/about/

Don't forget to follow Danielle on Twitter @DanielleHerb and Cheers Horse Ranch @CheersRanch