Sue Scheff: Volunteering Just Got Easier!

It is always better to give than it is to receive. We hear that a lot and for good reason. It is true!

This is such an important topic, there will be two parts to this article. VolunteerSpot is a fantastic organization designed to help you give back to your community. There are no more excuses! During this holiday season, take the time to learn more about your neighborhood and what their needs are.

The founder of VolunteerSpot, Karen Bantuveris, recently took time to answer questions about her mission and hopefully will give you inspiration to take steps to help others this holiday season and all year round!

Part 1:

1. Why and when did you start VolunteerSpot?

I'm a working mom and when my daughter entered school I knew I wanted to be active in the classroom and with her Scout troop, etc. I wanted to quickly and easily schedule my volunteer commitments with the rest of my business calendar, but my inbox kept filling up with back and forth emails over how many cupcakes to bring to the class party or whose turn it is to help at recess or other really clutter some communication - I knew several parents that just said ‘take me off the list' because of this.

It's not that parents didn't want to help, it's that there wasn't a good way to ask them - so that's when I got the idea for VolunteerSpot.

We launched our ‘Early Edition' in the Spring of 2009. What started as a tool to help my PTA in Austin, TX has grown to helping more than 100,000 volunteers participate in their communities across the country.

2. VolunteerSpot offers many resources. What do you feel people benefit most from your organization?

We save volunteer leaders time and frustration and get more people volunteering. Typically we hear that it's always the same people volunteering at school, little league, library, etc. With VolunteerSpot, we make it easy for more parents to volunteer - because it's so easy to find a spot on the schedule that fits in their busy lives. Open an email, click to the schedule, click a shift and you've found a volunteer job. Plus parents also love our automated reminders so they never forget what they signed up to help with.

3. How many different states have participated in VolunteerSpot and how can people join?

We're currently serving volunteers in more than 40 states (and several countries)! Anyone can launch a VolunteerSpot sign up - it's really easy to get started with our simple planning wizard. It's been truly remarkable seeing all the wonderful ways folks find to use VolunteerSpot. In addition to helping parents and teachers coordinate volunteers at school and sports, we see congregations and nonprofits using us for their good work like after school mentoring programs, literacy outreach, community arts festivals, handicapped riding programs, building teams and community kitchens.

4. Do you charge any fees? Do you have sponsors?

VolunteerSpot is free for teachers and grassroots volunteer leaders. We ask that workplace volunteer teams, leagues and nonprofits with budget contribute to keep us free for groups that can't afford us. Sponsors are important to our business and we'll be adding new features soon to help them support the good work of our volunteers.

5. What motivates you and what inspired you to start this wonderful organization?

Professionally, I'm a business process expert. When I saw good people drop out of volunteering, and leaders burn out over frustrating communication obstacles, I just knew that there had to be a better way! By simplifying the volunteer experience, our tool has increased volunteer participation by more than 20%, reduced leader burnout and increased donations to the organization that use us!

Part 2 continues with how VolunteerSpot can help you! Click here.

Follow VolunteerSpot on Twitter @VolunteerSpot and get updates on their Blog.

Reminder: Holiday Safety Tips!

Article on Holiday Jobs and Volunteering for Teens.

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Sue Scheff: Marketing Products for Kids

I have written about Lane Sutton, also known as KidCriticUSA. At 12 years old he created his own little empire of “all things kids.” He enjoys visiting different restaurants, reviewing movies and giving his advice to parents through a kids opinion.

Do you have products for kids (toys, games, books, etc) you would like to have reviewed? Contact Lane today at Lane@KidCriticUSA.com ! Remember, the holidays are around the corner, Lane can help promote your products. Follow him on Twitter at @KidCriticUSA

In September I interviewed Lane Sutton for an Examiner article. Check it out here. Lane has expanded into reviewing summer camps! Soon enough summer will be here, get a jump start. If you own a camp, invite Lane to review it!

For more places to showcase your products, be sure to visit MommyPerks, Kidlutions and BingNote!

Sue Scheff: Teaching your Kids Gratitude

Parenting expert, Dr. Michele Borba, recently released her BIG BOOK of Parenting Solutions, 101 Answers to your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. Part 3 in this huge book, which is formatted like a cookbook, she writes about "character."

The parenting recipes in this book are priceless! As the holidays approach, it is time to share some of these family recipes - all thoroughly researched and proven delicious for today's parenting. This book makes an excellent holiday gift for any parent raising kids today. There isn't a parenting topic that is missed.

This is not only a HUGE book, it is the manual the hospital should have handed out when your children were born.Part of your child's character should be gratitude. As Thanksgiving is fast approaching, let's review some of Dr. Borba's proven advice on character building with gratitude.

This is a sneak peek of inside the Big Book of Parenting Solutions:

Thank you ABCs. This one is great for younger kids to do at the dinner table. You and your kids say the alphabet together, but for each letter include something you are grateful for: A, Aunt Helen; B, my brother; C, my cat and so on. Take it up one notch by having the person explain why he is grateful. Families with small kids rarely get beyond H, but the point is that you're having fun together, and your kids are also learning to be appreciative. Older kids can reveal one thing they are grateful for that happened to them during the day and why.

Prayers of thanksgiving. Say a prayer of thanks together before meals. Some families take turns so that each night a different member leads the prayer.

Bedtime family blessings. Each child exchanges messages of appreciation for one another, followed by a goodnight hug and kiss.

Gratitude letters. Your child writes a letter to someone who has made a positive difference in his life but whom he has probably not thanked properly in the past (such as his teacher, coach, scoutmaster, or grandparent). Research shows that to maximize the impact, your child should read the letter to the person face to face. If the person lives far away, videotape your child reading the note and send it to the recipient, or have the child read his not over the phone.

Gratitude journals. Younger kids can draw or dictate things they are most grateful for; older kids can write in a diary or in a computer. Just remember to start one for yourself or for your family. Research show that your kids should write something they feel grateful for four times a week and continue for at least three weeks.

Focus on giving, not getting. Involve your child in the process of choosing, making and wrapping gifts. Give your kid the honor of handing out the presents to relatives during the holidays and giving a thank-you gift to the hostess, teacher, or coach. Switching the emphasis from the role of the getter to that of the giver may help your child recognize the effort and thoughtfulness that goes into selecting those gifts.


This is only a fraction of Michele Borba's BIG BOOK of Parenting Solutions, she also states that practicing gratitude 365 days a year is what is important, not just at the holidays. Order this book today, whether for yourself or as a holiday gift and get ready to be blown away at all the valuable information you will read.

For those busy parents that don't have time to read, this is the perfect book for you since it is not the type of book you sit down to read. As parenting questions come up, you can go straight to the index and find the page number. Immediately you will see the pages divided by boxes, quick tips and advice and easy to read and understand resources. Did I mention she also lists proven statistics?

Coming soon, more sneak peeks inside this Big Book of Parenting Solutions. You will soon see you need this book in your kitchen, I mean library!

Part 2 - How do you handle "ungrateful" children? Click here.
Part 3 - Seven Deadly Parenting Styles
Part 4 - Sex Talk with your Children

Click here for more articles on parenting. Don't forget to subscribe to my latest articles, and you won't miss the sneak peeks inside this valuable book as well as other great tips, resources and stories.

Reminder: Holiday Safety Tips!

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Sue Scheff: Students Being Paid for Good Grades

We have heard about this controversy lately. Like with many situations, there are several sides of the story. Many can remember being rewarded for a good report card, however today it almost seems like we are paying our kids to do well – in reality, shouldn’t they want to be successful so someday they will earn their own money? Let’s not answer that – today’s society is a new generation. I am not speaking about all teens, however the sense of entitlement has reached a level that is disturbing to many parents and teachers.

Recently I read an article by Connect with Kids about “A Little Incentive” that offers tips that can help you make a decision that is best for your family. Take the time to read this. Be an educated parent and weigh both sides of the issue.

Tips for Parents

Is it a good idea to give cash in exchange for good grades? That is something each family must discuss and decide. Evaluate your teen's grades. If the grades are good, continue with the plan you are using. If the grades could use some improvement, take the opportunity to discuss the importance of good grades. Explain how good grades will help them children into the college of their choice.

If this does not work, consider a reward system. Ask them what they would like to receive for grades. If money seems to be the best motivator, but you are not comfortable handing over cash for them to "blow," you do have some options that will motivate and educate.
One option is to take the opportunity to teach your teen the value of a dollar. Family Education Network suggests the following tips:

Once a dollar amount is established, sit down with your teen and establish a money management program or financial plan.

Begin by designating 35 percent of their "grade money" as free spending money. This would be theirs to do spend as they wish. At least half, in this example 65 percent, must be saved.

Your teen can open their own savings account, or if you are stock and mutual fund savvy, try to get them investing early and on a regular basis.

Have your teen give a percentage, 10 percent for example, to charity. If you are uncomfortable with rewarding good grades, consider other options for helping them achieve academic success. One of the most important things you can do to help your teen succeed in school is to become involved. Consider the following ideas suggested by the American Federation of Teachers:

Know your child's school family. The teacher is the primary player in your child's school environment, but there are others (such as counselors and librarians) who make a valuable contribution. Attending parent-teacher conferences, open-school nights and other events are the best way to get acquainted with these important people.

Expect success at school. Children work best when they know what you expect of them. Discuss these expectations with your children -- expectations for good grades, attendance and study habits. Encourage them to take courses that will challenge them, but not overwhelm them. For example, high school students usually can choose from several English courses and several mathematics courses. Discuss these and other course options with your children. Make sure they are choosing courses that will interest and challenge them.

View unsatisfactory grades as an opportunity. All parents want their children to receive good marks and advance to the next grade, but do not expect a teacher to give your children a grade or honor that they have not deserved. Make it clear to your child that grades are not ''given'' - they are earned. If your child receives an unsatisfactory report card, use this as an opportunity to restate your own commitment to high standards. Discuss with your child (and the teacher) what he or she will need to do differently to improve the grade and advance to the next level.

Help your child keep pace. Absences, family problems and other distractions make it difficult for a student to keep up with lessons and assignments during the school day. Ask a teacher if your school district offers after-school tutoring, summer programs or other activities that can prevent your child from falling behind.

Monitor your teen's part-time job. For many teenagers, holding a part-time job is an important rite of passage into adulthood. It teaches students about the working world and how to manage money. But a part-time job can cut into study time and add to the stress of teen years. Grades can fall, and attendance can suffer

References: American Federation of Teachers, Family Education Network, New York Post article, Reuters, Connect with Kids

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Sue Scheff: Holiday Teen Jobs and Volunteering

Many parents will encourage their teenager to get a job over the holiday season. Whether it is for extra spending more or keeping busy in a constructive way, this can be a great opportunity to learn responsibility. There are different options to consider. There is paying jobs and there is volunteering. Both can be fulfilling and teach your teen about accountability.

Here are some ideas to consider and encourage your teen to become involved.

Christmas tree stands: Shortly we will see fresh Christmas trees in many areas for sale. Even in South Florida, we have fresh tree centers on many street corners. Many will hire teens to help customers and if your teenager has a truck or vehicle that can transport trees (as well as a drivers license), this is a great way to make extra money with tips.

Wrapping Gifts: In many malls you will see tables with people wrapping gifts for busy shoppers. This is a great job for teens also. Check with your local mall for about these tables and who is sponsoring them. Sometimes it is volunteer work, however a great way to put a smile on people’s faces, and feel good about yourself.

Feed the Homeless: This is a job that the entire family can participate in. Take the time to get involved with a local church or contact the Salvation Army or Good Will to find out where you can help. There is nothing more rewarding than giving to others.

Toys for Tots: Find your local organization and be part of putting a smile of many unfortunate children. Whether you can pick up toys at different locations or help with sorting, get involved. Again, the rewards are priceless.

Retail Work: If your teen is of age in your state, in Florida usually 15 or 16 years old is the legal age to be employed, you may want to consider working in a retail store for holiday help. There are many benefits to learning how to work with the public. It is not an easy job; however you will learn tolerance and will also make you a better shopper being able to relate to customers. Not to mention the extra spending money you can make.

The list could go on and I believe that encouraging your teen to be involved in some way whether it is volunteering or having a paying job, can help them learn accountability as well as build their self confidence.

Learn more: Salvation Army, Good Will, Toys for Tots, Volunteer Spot, Christmas Tree Stands, About.com Holiday Job Ideas, Volunteer Match

Also read on Examiner.com

Sue Scheff: How do we recognize a Panic Attack?

Kara Tamanini is an excellent therapist and specialist with adolescents with ADD/ADHD/ODD and many other diagnoses. She has written children's books that are easy to understand and help your child to believe they are special too. Kara recently wrote an article on panic attacks. During these stressful times, whether your family is struggling with finances, job loss or other hurdles life can bring, learn more about recognizing a panic attack.

By Kara Tamanini

How to Recognize a Panic Attack

Anxiety is really on a continuum if you think about. All of us, kids, adolescents and adults have some level of anxiety on any given day. We move from relatively little anxiety to moderate to severe anxiety and we move up and down on this continuum. NOBODY has no anxiety every day, everyone experience some degree of anxiety on any given day. Anxiety is really a good and a bad thing, however high levels of anxiety on a continuing basis interfere with our ability to function in our daily lives. We never are truly able to eliminate anxiety completely, however the goal of psychological treatment is to reduce or manage the anxiety that we have. With that said, how do we know that we are having a panic attack or in other words a sudden and intense fear or anxiety that is absolutely overwhelming to us. Panic attacks happen to children and adults alike and panic attacks do not discriminate based on a person’s age.

In order to recognize whether you are experiencing a panic attack, you must first know the symptoms of a panic attack:

1.) you feel like your heart is racing and you have heart palpitations

2.) sweating

3.) trembling or shaking all over your body

4.) Shortness of breath

5.) fear of dying

6.) fear of losing control

7.) nausea or abdominal pain or distress

8.) chills or hot flushes

9.) chest pain or discomfort

10.) feeling of choking

11.) feeling dizzy, unsteady, faint, or lightheaded

12.) derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached or not part of oneself)

13.) paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations)

To qualify for a diagnosis of Panic Disorder, at least four of the preceding 13 symptoms are needed. Experiencing these symptoms does not always mean that you are having a panic attack, they may signal a physical problem. Many symptoms of a physical ailment mimic those identified for a panic attack and a physical basis for the symptoms needs to first be ruled out. Individuals should first receive a physical examination to rule out that their is no physical basis for these symptoms. If there is not a physical reason for the preceding symptoms than panic disorder is likely the culprit and psychological intervention is needed. Most individuals that experience panic attacks are treated with Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and psychological intervention is usually needed in order to treat panic attacks. Medications are also often needed in order to treat panic attacks.

Learn more at www.KidsAwarenessSeries.com and follow Kara on Twitter at @KidTherapist

Sue Scheff: Bullying and Girls

A Way Through founders, Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner are dedicated to helping parents understand today’s girls and the peer pressure, friendships, relationships and so much more they face today.

Bullying has become a hot topic that needs to be addressed and needs to stop. Blair Wagner writes an interesting and educational article about bullying and the myths many believe.

Are You Believing the WRONG THINGS About Female Bullying?

By Blair Wagner

It’s a common thought in parenting circles to think that girls shouldn’t treat each other this way. Says whom?

Try this on… Girls should all get along perfectly, have exquisite emotional and social skills, and treat everyone with the utmost respect. Can you hear violins playing sweetly in the background?

Yeah? Well, here’s the deal. It doesn’t work that way. And, it’s not supposed to work that way. Girls (like everyone else) are on this earth to maneuver through the contrast of our world (which is often sticky, and sometimes painful) to find what feeds their passion and to create joy in their lives. In order to do that and to become clear about what they DO WANT, girls need to experience what they DON’T WANT.

When we help girls recognize that some friends will feel good to be with and others won’t, girls can begin to make choices based on their inner guidance system (emotions). For myself, I’ve found the key to be a healthy combination of two things:

Lack of resistance (let others’ ugly behaviors roll off like water on a duck)
Conscious focus on what I want in my relationships

When I’m in that nonresistant, positive-focus zone, I find that beautiful people and experiences show up around every corner. Our work as girl guides is to help girls get into that zone.

Wrong Thing #2: Relational Aggression is Getting Worse and the World Is a Mess
With a little effort, we can find evidence to support any viewpoint on any topic. There are certainly visible signs of problems in our world, and we see statistics on how emotional bullying is affecting girls in increasing numbers. This is real. And yet, we get more of what we pay attention to.

There is so much well-being in this world; it far outweighs the lack of well being. When we look at relational aggression as an overwhelming, unsolvable problem, we add to the problem. We can’t solve relational aggression (or any problem for that matter) from a place of fear and overwhelm. Faith, curiosity, and optimism go much further.

Wrong Thing #3: Emotional Bullying Starts in Middle School

Yes, we see a peak of emotional bullying in the middle school years. But, as any kindergarten (and even pre-school) teacher will tell you, it starts very, very young among girls. Relational Aggression from a five-year old (“I won’t be your friend if you…”) may not be as sophisticated as from a thirteen-year old (“let’s start an I-Hate-Miranda web site”), but the pattern can and does begin in the pre-school years.

Savvy parents start very young guiding their daughters to connect with their personal power and to find and cultivate friendships that feel good.

Wise educators see relational aggression as an issue that needs to be addressed as young as kindergarten. Schools that implement common language and strategies within their school community (and consistently teach these to the youngest of their students) will find they have less relational aggression among their female students as they head into their teens.

© 2009 A Way Through, LLC

Female friendship experts Jane Balvanz and Blair Wagner publish A Way Through, LLC’s Guiding Girls ezine. If you’re ready to guide girls in grades K – 8 through painful friendships, get your FREE mini audio workshop and ongoing tips now at http://www.awaythrough.com/
Follow AWayThrough on Twitter @AWayThrough

Sue Scheff: Conversations with Moms - Continues Praise for Google Bomb Book

Conversations with Moms interviews our foreword author, Michael Fertik, CEO and Founder of ReputationDefender.

The response has been overwhelming to Google Bomb book and I am thrilled that the reviews just get better and better. Be sure to order your copy today.

Source: Conversations with Moms

By: Maria Melo

When I wrote about my review of the Google Bomb book, I was not surprised about all the emails and comments I received concerning online reputation. I felt like I had learned a lot from reading this book and was a little less naive about the potential threats online.

Soon after my review, I was contacted and asked if I wanted to speak with Michael Fertik, CEO of Reputation Defender. Of course I was intrigued and open to finding out more ways of how we can protect ourselves online.

I think my biggest concern online is keeping my children safe. I hear more and more about cyber-bullying and the damaging effects it has on the children being targeted. Kids can be cruel and the internet has become a weapon in spreading that cruelty. I like the way Michael described it best.

“In the past, kids passed notes in class to spread rumors and viciousness. Now they use the internet. The behavior has not changed, just the medium.”

Read complete interview: http://conversationswithmoms.com/2009/10/30/reputation-defender-protect-familys-online-reputation/

Follow ReputationDefender on Twitter @RepDef
Follow Conversations with Moms on Twitter @ConversationsWM