Tweens and Facebook: Should They Be Allowed on Facebook?

This is a question that has been lingering for the past couple of years.  We know that kids under 13 are joining, but should they be?

The brave new world of technology has expanded so far that even your grandmother may have an account on the social networking clearinghouse that is Facebook. The fact that your elderly relatives have adopted Facebook, however, doesn’t mean that your child is ready to tackle the social media giant.

When your tween is pleading with you for permission to start a Facebook account and swearing that all of their friends have them, these are 10 of the reasons why you might want to stick to your guns and continue to ban the site for a few more years.

1. Bullying – Being bullied is a devastating situation, even for teenagers and young adults, but tweens are even more likely to be overwhelmed by bullies online. Kids who aren’t victims of bullying may also find themselves joining in with the crowd picking on another youngster in the no-holds-barred world of the Internet.
2. Exposure to Questionable Content – Even if your preteen is never approached by a sexual predator, she’s still likely to come across photos or status updates that simply aren’t age appropriate. A child who doesn’t have a Facebook account may be protected from that objectionable content for a bit longer, though.
3. Online Predators – Sexual predators lurking online are such a problem that entire television series have been dedicated to sting operations designed to catch them. Preteens simply aren’t equipped to properly fend off approaches from predators, and may be more susceptible to their techniques than older kids.
4. They’re Not Technically Allowed to Have Accounts – If you don’t prohibit Facebook use for your preteen for any other reason, you should consider the fact that allowing them to start an account is tantamount to telling them that it’s okay to lie. Facebook doesn’t allow users younger than 13, so your child will have to falsify her age in order to sign up. Doing so with your permission is effectively sending a message that lying is acceptable behavior if you’re lying to get something you really want.
5. Reducing Screen Time – Between television, video games and time spent online for homework purposes, kids spend enough of their day planted in front of an electronic screen. Facebook is just another way for your child to while away the hours in sedentary activity, rather than getting outside and being active.
6. Preserving Academic Performance – When your child is supposed to be online researching homework methods or studying for a big test, his shiny new Facebook account can be a very serious distraction. Kids so young may have difficulty controlling their impulses, and may spend far more time on the social media site than they do actually working.
7. Protecting Your Computer from Malware – You and your teenagers may have a basic idea of how to avoid malware and spyware sent out by unscrupulous Facebook users, but your tween probably doesn’t. Keeping your child off of social media for a few more years can also be your computer’s saving grace.
8. Because Kids Lack Adult Judgment – The fact that college students post photographs of binge drinking parties and incriminating status updates at an alarming rate is proof that young people don’t always have the best judgment when it comes to social networking. For a young child, not understanding acceptable Facebook use could lead to them sharing very sensitive personal information that later proves to be dangerous.
9. Friends Lists Can Be Difficult to Manage – When the friend requests start rolling in, your tween will probably accept each and every one of them because it makes her feel well-liked and cool. That can give some shady characters access to her profile, something she may have trouble understanding when she’s still so young.
10. Tech-Savvy Tweens Can Block Your Monitoring Efforts – Some preteens may have trouble avoiding malware and managing a friends list, but others will be tech-savvy enough to filter their updates and change security settings that affect what you’re able to see. Even if you think you’re monitoring your child, you may only be seeing a fraction of the things she does online.

If you still think that your preteen is mature and trustworthy enough to have a Facebook account without getting into trouble, the decision is up to you. Be warned, however, that your child could find all of her hard work tossed to the wayside if Facebook administrators discover that she’s maintaining an account before she’s reached the age limit set in the terms of use and decide to delete the account.

Source:  Babysitting Jobs

Need a great alternative to Facebook for tweens?  Check out Yoursphere!  It is designed for that age group where safety for your child is their priority!

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Teens Addicted to Facebook?

Facebook Addiction

Facebook, our largest growing social networking site and many are now considered FB Addicts.
Is there anything wrong with being hooked on Facebook?  Maybe, if it is consuming your life, but like everything in life, you need to set boundaries.

Yes, it is long overdue, but finally it has been created – a 12 step program for those addicted to Facebook. FAA (Facebook Addicts Anonymous) groups are being formed worldwide to defeat this growing addiction. Many Facebook addicts have been ridiculed as being weak and selfish by those around them.
However, more and more people are beginning to recognize this addiction for the true disease that it is, and that it cannot be overcome by simple willpower alone.

Below you will find the Twelve Steps to Freedom that are being utilized by FaceBook addicts to break the hold of this menace in their lives.

Step 1: Acknowledge you have a problem. This, of course, is the first and most critical step. The individual must recognize and admit that FaceBook is no longer simply a place for casual social connection to them; it is an addition that has taken control of their lives.
Step 2: Recognize your need of a Higher Power. Once you recognize and admit the addicting hold that FaceBook has on your life, you will soon realize that you are unable to quit on your own. You must have help from someone, something, greater than yourself; someone…who does not live in the FaceBook world. Only you can determine who that Higher Power is. It may be your spouse, your parents or your roommate, but it will be a real live person whom you can touch.
Step 3: Surrender your password to your Higher Power. Step three is a crucial step. You must surrender your FaceBook password to your Higher Power. You must allow them monitor all your activities and change your privacy settings.
Step 4: Do a thorough and fearless inventory of your friends list. For this fourth step, you must go through each and every face on your friends list. You must acknowledge to your Higher Power whether or not you truly know each person, and in what way.
Step 5: Delete all those friends you do not truly know. Now that you’ve created that list of unknown friends, you must make the big step of deleting them from your friends list. It will be difficult. There will be a grieving process involved, but it must be done.
Step 6: Remove the FaceBook app from your cellphone. You’ve come a long way, by this point. Step six will be a turning point in your recovery. You will purposefully and intentionally remove the FaceBook app from your cellphone. You will no longer receive FaceBook status reports on your phone. You will no longer post your immediate thoughts from any and every location. You will confine your FaceBook use to your computer.
Step 7: Do a second inventory of your friends list. You narrowed it down once. In this step, you are going to make a clean sweep. You will determine which of the people on this list is actually related to you and, which are not. Third cousins, twice removed is the very farthest limit accepted in true blood relations.
Step 8: Delete everyone except family. By this time, you are beginning to get stronger. Gather support if you need it, though, this is going to take some time. Delete ALL your FaceBook friends except those you have listed on your family list.
Step 9: Begin using email again. In this step, you will begin putting your new life into place. You will begin using your email account once again to communicate with friends and family. You will re-learn how to attach photo files to emails in order to share them with others. It would be easy to turn back to FaceBook at this point. It may seem like it would be the easy solution, but it ISN’T. You know that.
Step 10: Post your final goodbye on your status. Now that you’ve re-established your new life, it is time to make an official public statement regarding your freedom from this addiction. Post your final farewell in your status.
Step 11: Delete your account. This step must IMMEDIATELY follow Step 10. You must quickly delete your FaceBook account before reading any replies to status update. Other FaceBook addicts will try to dissuade you. They will tell you that having an account won’t hurt you. You must NOT listen to them. They are as in need of help as you were when you began this program.
Step 12: Join a social network for recovering FaceBook addicts. Now that you have reached the last and final step of your program, it is finally time to rejoin the world of the living. You will find it online. A new FAA social network had been created, that will support you in your ongoing recovery. Begin to live again!

Source:  Internet For Free

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Are you struggling with a teen that was always a good kid – now making some horrible choices?

Are they hanging out with kids that are questionable?

Did you get a report card that was less than acceptable?

Have you seen evidence of them smoking or using other substances?  Maybe drinking?

Don’t be parent in denial! You are only prolonging them getting the help they may need.  You don’t want to see them get arrested – you want to see them get back on a positive road to a bright future.

Join us on Facebook - and LIKE our community of professionals, parents and educators that want to help.

Also visit www.HelpYourTeens.com for a free consultation.

Teens Oversharing - How will it effect their future?

Talk to your teens, what they send today....

Is your teenager sharing too much of their information online?

In a recent survey on TeenVogue.com, 94 percent of readers polled said that teenagers should be more concerned about privacy on the Internet.

Social networking sites, such as Facebook, has become a go-to site for college recruiters as well as employers.  Does your teen know the consequences of posting their party pictures, or language they should only be using privately (if using at all)?

Do you recall a recent Examiner article, Employers now asking for your Facebook link when applying for a job?

Although it can be nearly impossible to control or monitor everything our teens do, it is imperative you stress the importance of the lasting effects that an innocent photo or a questionable action that is posted on your Facebook page can result in - years from now.

Many kids are not able to grasp that two to five years from now is really not a long time.  Like many kids, it seems like forever - so why not post these cool things they are doing.  The problem is, what they consider cool, some may consider crude.

What may seem humorous to you and your friends, could be offensive to others.  Privacy is a gift, and how much you want to give is up to you.  However give with caution!

Order today!

Don't learn the lesson the hard way, "Google Bomb! The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict That Changed the Way We Use the Internet," a story everyone needs to read. 



Ironically when our children were young, most taught and encouraged our children to share.  Now we have to redefine sharing and give it boundaries.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.


Watch the video.
Read more.

Sue Scheff: Facebook, Free Speech, Teachers, Students and the Law

With the recent headlines about Katherine Evans and her victory in Broward County, Florida regarding a judge's ruling, stated that she is allowed to sue her former principal.

Backed by lawyers from the Florida branch of the ACLU, Evans won her first victory this week when Judge Barry Garber ruled that she could proceed with the case because her Facebook group was protected by the First Amendment. "Evans' speech falls under the wide umbrella of protected speech," Garber wrote in his opinion. "It was an opinion of a student about a teacher, that was published off-campus, did not cause any disruption on-campus, and was not lewd, vulgar, threatening, or advocating illegal or dangerous behavior." - Digital Trends

Free speech does not condone defamation, however is what Katherine Evans wrote defamatory? That doesn't seem to be the case, the story is about the punishment that Evans received following posting ugly comments about one of her teachers.

Katherine Evans started the "Ms. Sarah Phelps is the worst teacher I've ever met!" group on Facebook back in 2007 and featured a photograph of the teacher and an invitation for other students to "express your feelings of hatred," prompting a three-day suspension from school principal Peter Bayer. The suspension came two months after the page was taken down. Evans was also removed from Advanced Placement classes.

Evans wants to have the suspension removed from her disciplinary record and receive a nominal fee for the violation of her First Amendment rights.

Maybe this is an example of the old cliché, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything." Or in today's digital world, "if you don't have something nice to post, don't post it."

Remember, what goes online, stays online. What you post today can come back to haunt you later. If you are angry with someone, dislike your boss or teacher - think twice before you post about it. Today once you put it out there, it virtually impossible to take it back, and most people don't want to end up in a courtroom - no matter what side you are on. There are never any winners. Except the lawyers, in my opinion.

Although Katherine Evans has been given the green light to file her case, free speech lives on, however when will people start realizing enough is enough with some forms of Internet abuse? Cyberbullying, Internet predators, and sexting are just the start of the ugliness that lurks online.

Eventually the laws need to catch up with the free for all cyberspace.

Read more on Examiner.

Sue Scheff: Facebook Do's and Dont's from MomLogic

Source: MomLogic.com

Here's all you need to know, courtesy of MomLogic contributor and Internet Safety Specialist Lori Getz.

There's no doubt that manners are important. But who knew that there would be a whole new set of etiquette for online interactions? Well, there are. In part two of our Cyber Safety series, find out the do's and don'ts of Facebook.

Do: Check your privacy settings!Within Facebook, there are 3 "Settings" tabs: Account, Privacy, and Applications. These settings allow you to control everything from how your page looks to who can see what you post. Within the Privacy setting alone, there are 4 sub-categories, each with several options. It is important that you read through all of them and make appropriate decisions about who can see what!

Do not: Use friending to alienate or become "famo."A friend request is a precious thing. Do you remember walking up to a new friend on the kindergarten playground and asking him or her to be your friend? Well, welcome to the 21st century version. You don't want to use this power to alienate others, but at the same time, you only want to let people in that you know in the physical world. "Famo" refers to becoming Internet Famous. Kids love to "collect friends," whether they know them or not. The more friends you have, the more famo you are. People you meet online that you don't know face-to-face are strangers. It's just not safe to let them into your inner circle!

Do not: Use the Honesty Box to slander or defame others. The honesty box in Facebook is an application on your profile page where people can drop anonymous comments. When teens use this feature, it is usually to harass one another. That's just plain old cyber-bullying!Do: Control who sees your News Feeds.On the top menu bar of Facebook, you have 4 main options: Home, Profile, Friends, and Inbox. On the Home page, you see the News Feeds. These are status updates of what your friends are doing and thinking (much like Twitter). Make sure you know who can see these updates -- you will find this control in the Privacy setting. You wouldn't want to accidentally tell the world you are leaving town for the weekend and that your house will be empty.

Do not: Fall for Phishing scams.Phishing is the act of attempting to trick users into divulging sensitive and personal information by directing them to a fake website that collects things like usernames, passwords, credit card numbers, etc. Facebook has encountered several phishing scams where you will receive a link in your inbox directing you to a new page that looks like Facebook but requires you to log in again. DON'T DO IT! At the log-in page, the hacker is now waiting for you to type in your username and password so they can collect it. Hackers usually do this to steal your identity and break into other accounts where the username and password may be the same (such as your online banking account). If you are redirected to a page where you are asked to re-enter your username and password or any personal information, scrutinize it carefully. If you are unsure and don't need to access the page, just close the window and forget about it.

Do: Read the Terms of Service.Have you ever noticed in Facebook that it appears the ads seem to be just for you? That's because Facebook scans your posting and accesses your personal information in order to learn what you like and don't like. That way they can attach appropriate advertisers to your page. It's a great way to direct-market. Make sure you read Facebook's Terms of Service and understand their role in the content you post.

Do not: Poke incessantly -- it's annoying!I think this one is pretty straightforward. Poking is a way to let someone know you are trying to get his or her attention. But there is no message attached, just the fact that you received a poke. Can you imagine if someone sat next to you and poked you all day ... it would drive me crazy!

Do: Understand the difference between private messages and the Wall.The second option at the top of your Facebook page is Profile. This is your public Wall. Think of it like a billboard on Sunset Blvd. Everyone can see everything posted to your Wall, including passersby. If you want to send a friend a private note on Facebook, then send them a message rather than posting to their Wall. The Wall is not the right place to make plans or talk about personal things.

Do not: Use Facebook to send SPAM or chain letters.Not only are SPAM and chain letters annoying, they are usually sent to gather your personal information. A chain letter is created by one person and then sent to others. But every time you forward a chain letter, there is code in the e-mail that sends all of the e-mail addresses back to the creator of the chain letter. So don't give up your personal information or that of your friends by forwarding the e-mail. I promise you will not have bad luck for 7 years!

Sue Scheff: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace...What?

Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace…What?

Tips for Parents - Talking to Your Teens About Social Networking

NEW YORK, June 1 /PRNewswire/ — MS — It’s no secret young people growing up today are more technologically advanced than older generations like the Baby Boomers. In those days, communicating with friends was done primarily by talking on the telephone, writing a note or speaking face-to-face. There was no e-mailing, text messaging, IM’ing (instant messaging) or posting comments on each other’s personal Web pages.

(Photo: http://www.newscom.com/cgi-bin/prnh/20090601/NY24516 )

In schools today, instead of just passing notes, students can send text messages on their cell phones and communicate online with their bff (best friends forever) or with people they don’t know, and this makes it difficult for parents to monitor their child’s online activities. In addition to e-mailing and text messaging, communicating via social networking sites is becoming more common for both older and younger generations. In fact, in January 2009 Facebook alone reported that they had 150 million active users. In addition, according to Common Sense Media, 55 percent of teens have an online profile on social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace.

"Social networking sites can be great resources for staying in contact with people, reconnecting with old friends, meeting people with common interests, and getting questions answered, but unfortunately not everyone who uses the Internet and social networking sites has honest intentions,” said Jay Opperman, Senior Director of Security and Privacy at Comcast.

What does this all mean? It means that parents should: 1) become familiar with online social networks like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and MySpace; and 2) talk to your children about the importance of being safe and smart while communicating online.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when talking to your teens about the Internet and social networks:

TIP 1 — Choose your pictures wisely: Pictures can say a thousand words. If you decide to post a picture of yourself online, be very cautious about what you post.

“Do not use a picture that will embarrass you five years down the road because even if you delete the picture, it will never go away. What goes online, stays online,” said Opperman. “Think about these questions: If I post this picture, could it prevent me from getting a scholarship or a job in the future? What if the person or persons I share my picture with, shares it with others?”

TIP 2 — Don’t talk to strangers and use privacy settings: Sometimes people aren’t always who they say they are and the Internet provides an additional means of being anonymous. Remember, everyone in the world doesn’t have your best interests at heart and some people are looking to prey on children and teens online. Social networking sites have privacy settings so you can control who can see your personal page. The settings can’t protect you 100 percent, but they are helpful so make sure you set up a privacy setting so only your friends can see your page.

TIP 3 — Keep your personal information personal: Don’t share personal information such as your last name, parents’ or siblings’ names, phone number, address, social security number or where you like to hang out. People with dishonest intentions can use this information to find you or steal your identity.

TIP 4 — Don’t be a cyberbully: Don’t bully people online or in person. You wouldn’t appreciate a schoolmate or even a stranger posting embarrassing or harassing information about you or threatening you online so don’t do that to someone else. Online, this is called cyberbullying, and now more and more states are passing anti-cyberbullying laws.

TIP 5 — Go outside and stay active: Technology is fascinating and it keeps us connected in so many ways, but don’t let the Internet disconnect you from other things that are important in life. Spend time with family and friends in person. Walk the dog, learn how to play an instrument, get involved in sports and other extracurricular after-school activities. Real life connections with family, friends and those most important to you should be one of your top priorities.

For more Internet safety tips and resources visit www.comcast.net/security .

SOURCE Comcast Security

Sue Scheff: Teens, Parents and Facebook

Today more and more teens are joining Facebook as well as the other Social Network - however Facebook seems to be growing. Why? I honestly don’t know, but I do know parents are enjoying Facebook as much as many kids are. Recently I stumbled over an article on Tangerine Times written by a parent helping us navigate our way through the Social Cyberspace. This topic is critical - as keeping your child’s privacy is important for many reasons. Help your kids stay safe with Social Networking - read this valuable article.

Source: Tangerine Times

How to Help Your Teen Use Privacy Settings on Facebook

Many parents tell me they are frustrated with their teens’ use of Facebook. Here are some of the comments I hear frequently from parents:

“They know more than I do about how to use it and set it up, so how can I control it?”

“My kids are using it when I am not around, so how can I possibly know what they are doing, who they are talking to and if they are being safe with their information?”

“I feel this has gotten out of control, and I don’t really know what to do to get it back under control”

“I am afraid there are predators.”

“I give up. I just hope they aren’t doing anything stupid because I haven’t a clue what they are doing online.”

What I see are parents who over control (they deny their kids use of Facebook entirely) or parents who are completely “hands off”. And some of these are parents who normally wouldn’t dream of sending their child into an unknown situation without a little research. Crazy huh? I’ve decided to begin a campaign to de-mystify Facebook for those parents who feel they are not comfortable enough to set boundaries for their teens. It’s not rocket science but I completely understand their frustration in trying to understand it all.

Here are some tips about privacy settings on Facebook. It is never too late to ask your teenager about their privacy settings, even if they have had their account for years.

Click here for the entire article.

Is Lying on Facebook, MySpace Pages Going to Become Illegal?

This seems to be the beginning of something big in Cyberspace - and hopefully will promote Internet Safety not only for kids, but everyone. I think it is only the beginning.

read more digg story