Friday, January 8, 2010

Sue Scheff: How to talk SEX with your Teens and Tweens

The dreaded birds and the bees talk can still today make many parents uncomfortable. However more today than any generation prior, it is imperative the talk is not only a priority, it is appropriately addressed without instilling fear and giving as much honest information as possible.

How to Talk About Sex to Your Teen

There are many things that parents are willing to do for their kids, but when it comes to educating them and talking to them about sex, they're very, very reluctant to do so. Perhaps they're still unwilling to accept the fact that their babies are growing up and fast becoming adults, or perhaps they're just too embarrassed to talk about this subject with their children. But there comes a time in your child's life when he/she will learn about the birds and the bees, and it's best that you be the one to tell them about the natural attraction between the sexes and the sexual act itself. So if you're wondering how to break the ice on this topic which is most often taboo in most homes, here's how you can talk to your teen about sex:

Be your child's friend: The process starts early, as soon as your child is able to understand the vagaries of life. You must be friends with your son or daughter if you want them to listen to what you have to say about sex when the time comes for this talk. If you're aloof with them and behave like typical parents, they're not going to be receptive to your little talk. So be your child's friend rather than a judgmental parent so that this talk about sex becomes that much easier when the time comes.

Start early: Don't wait till your child hits puberty to talk to them about menstruation and other aspects of adulthood. Their bodies begin to change much before they hit puberty, so spend more time with them as they enter their tween and teen years. Educate them about the bodily changes they can expect and teach your daughter and son how to handle puberty. While girls have to be aware of their monthly periods, boys are usually guilty about wet dreams and masturbation. If they don't know the facts, they could become mentally disturbed by the changes they are going through.

Don't just educate them, talk to them: It's not enough to just use a book or an educational video to teach your tween or teen about the basics of sex. They probably already know what goes where and how people do it; what they don't know and what you should tell them is the consequences their sexual actions will have, not just on them but on the others who are affected too. Teach them to make the right choices and to be aware of their actions. And even though you don't want them to have sex right away, educate them about contraception to avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Encourage them to come to you with any problem: If you teach your child that sex is taboo and to be avoided at all costs till they get married, you're never going to know if he or she gets into trouble because they're going to be afraid of your reaction if they tell you. And if you even suggest that it's ok to experiment and be sexually promiscuous, you're going to have trouble of a different kind. There's a thin line between these two opposing views that you must tread, one that encourages them to exercise caution, and yet, one that also tells them that they can come to you with any problem that they might have relating to sex or relationships. When you are open with your child, you know they're safe no matter what they do.

By-line: This post is written by Susan White, who writes on the topic of Radiologist Technician Schools . She welcomes your comments at her email id: .

Learn more about teenage pregnancy. Click here.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer and healthier tweens and teens!

Also on Examiner.

No comments: