Is Your Child Old Enough To Stay Home Alone?

With more and more households becoming two income households, the number of latchkey kids, or kids who are left home alone for a part of each day, is also steadily growing. According to NBC’s Today Show there are over 3 million children who are latch key kids today.

But before you decide to let your own child be a latch key kid, it’s important to evaluate if your child is ready for that responsibility. How do you know if your kids are old enough or responsible enough to stay home alone?

Here are some rules and guidelines that can help you make your decision:

Laws
Surprisingly, there are few laws or regulations on the books regarding what age a child can be legally left alone. Check out latchkey-kids.com to see if the state you live in has any age restrictions in place. According to CARE (Call Reassurance), law makers are considering adding regulations to the law books due to the increase in latchkey kids.

You can also contact CPS (Child Protective Services) in your area to find out what they recommend.

Guidelines
According to Safe Kids USA, children should be developmentally mature enough to stay alone around age 12 or 13. Since children develop at different rates, however, your child may be different. If your child is a dare devil, has impulse control issues, or doesn’t like following the rules, you may want to hold off leaving him alone until he’s older. On the other hand, if your 11 year old is very responsible and follows the rules well, he may be ready and capable of being a latch key kid. As a parent you will need to evaluate your child to determine if he is ready.

Lynn Yaney, a child welfare professional in California, has said that children under the age of 7 do not possess the ability to logically consider cause and effect, so they should not be left alone. Kids ages 7 to 10 are not considered ready to stay alone for an extended period of time because they need supervision to structure their day. However, if there is a structured routine in place, these kids could stay alone for a short time, like after school. Kids 11 and older should be considered on a case by case basis, but should not be left alone overnight, per Yaney.

According to WebMD, tweens ages 11 to 12 may be ready to watch their younger siblings for short periods of time. To determine if your tween is ready consider the following questions:

• Is your tween scared about staying alone?
• Do you live in a safe area?
• Does your home have an alarm system?
• Would your tween know what to do in case of an emergency?
• Do you have friends or family close by who could get there quickly?
• Has your tween shown responsible behavior in the past, such as doing chores without being asked or completing homework assignments on time without being nagged?

After considering the answers to the above questions, you might feel ready to make a trial run on leaving your tween home alone. The next thing you should do is set some ground rules.

• Are friends allowed to come over? How many?
• Is it okay to answer the phone?
• Should he answer the door?
• What is okay to eat? Can he use the microwave?
• How long is it okay to watch TV or play on the computer? Guidelines about what can and cannot be watched or played should be covered.

Once you have established some ground rules, make sure that everyone understands what is expected of them. Create a list of phone numbers for your tween just like you would for any babysitter. Here is a suggestion of some numbers to consider:

• 9-1-1 (he may forget in an emergency)
• You and your spouses’ cell phone numbers
• Number for a neighbor or friends
• Poison control
• Police department
• Your family doctor or pediatrician

After you have prepared your tween for what might happen you should do some practicing or role playing. Have a neighbor come over and pretend to be insistent on getting him to open the door. Go over what to do if the fire alarm goes off. Make sure your tween knows where the first aid kit is kept and how to use it. Ask him what he would do if the electricity goes out. You may even wish to enroll your child in a local babysitting course or a course designed for latchkey kids. These courses help develop and hone self-care skills.

After you are comfortable that your tween is ready to be left alone it’s time to try it out. For the first outing, plan to be home about 30 minutes after your tween gets home from school. When you return, find out how it went. Next time you go out, increase the duration to 45 minutes to an hour. Make sure you can be reached on your mobile phone. Keep increasing the time until you have exceeded the amount of time the kids will be left alone on an average day. Create some way for your child to check in with you when he arrives home after school.

Allowing your tween to stay home alone or to watch a younger sibling is scary, but it’s also a part of growing up. Your tween will be learning responsibility and maturity. If all goes well, you might even be able to go out alone with your spouse for dinner.

Source: Aupair Jobs

Parenting Today's Kids

Recently I discovered a great new educational sites with articles and information that can benefit parents of kids, tweens and teens today!

Parenting Today's Kids

Fact.  Parents Need Help at the Intersection of Technology and Kids

At ParentingTodaysKids.com, we recognize that technology impacts how kids are growing up.  It can play a very influential role in the choice they make and the people they become.

We Are Parents Too

We are parents.  We get it.  If parents can understand technology today and learn how kids embrace consume and social using it, we increase our chances of protecting our kids and positively influencing them.

Our Goal

We spend so much time protecting and guiding our kids in the “real world”, but most of us can do a better job parenting in the virtual world and protecting our kids online.

Our goal at ParentingTodaysKids.com is to educate parents and to help them close the technology gap that exists between parents and kids in order to better protect them.

That’s why we’ve put together an expert panel focused on raising kids today, ranging from an attorney to a holistic parenting life coach.    Check out the Author’s section today to see the great experts who are here to help you better understand your kids and how they are using technology.

Join them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

Stop Medicine Abuse: Starting The Conversation

Teen Drug Use: A parent's fear is when their teen or tween starts using drugs and it doesn't have to be marijuana or even street drugs - cough medicine and other household items are being used by teens to get high.

Stop Medicine Abuse is proactive in helping parents become educated and giving tips and resources to talk to your kids about the risks and dangers of substance abuse.

Here are some conversation starters:

Figuring out what to say to your teen on some of life’s tougher issues, like medicine abuse, can be challenging. During adolescence these conversations can sometimes result in verbal bouts, rather than calm, informative discussions. Fear not! There are ways to broach these topics with your teenager – the trick is to know the right questions to ask!

Cut out and use these conversation starters for opening the dialog with your teenager about serious teen issues, such as drug use or bullying. Remember to ask questions in an open-ended manner to avoid “yes” or “no” answers!

Click here for full details.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today's teenagers.

Mistakes Parents Make with Teens

Parenting books - so many to choose from!

Parenting. 

It is probably one of the hardest and most rewarding jobs there is.  Although there are many times you have to look hard for those rewards, as they can become hidden during those teen-hood and pre-teen times, you will eventually see them.

WebMD put together five mistakes that parents make with teens and tweens.  As second semester is progressing, there are many parents struggling with their kids to understand the importance of finishing school and doing well in it.  As with many adolescents, they see their social life is more of their priority.

Teen Parenting Mistake # 1: Expect the Worst
Teenagers get a bad rap, says Richard Lerner, PhD, director of the Institute for Applied Research in Youth Development at Tufts University. Many parents approach raising teenagers as an ordeal, believing they can only watch helplessly as their lovable children transform into unpredictable monsters. Expecting the worst sets parents and teens up for several unhappy, unsatisfying years together.

Teen Parenting Mistake #2: Read Too Many Parenting Books
Rather than trusting their instincts, many parents turn to outside experts for advice on how to raise teens. “Parents can tie themselves into knots trying to follow the advice they read in books,” says Robert Evans, EdD, executive director of the Human Relations Service, Wellesley, Mass., and author of Family Matters: How Schools Can Cope with the Crisis in Child Rearing.

“Books become a problem when parents use them to replace their own innate skills,” Evans tells WebMD. “If the recommendations and their personal style don’t fit, parents wind up more anxious and less confident with their own children.”
Use books (and articles like this) to get perspective on confusing behavior and then put them down. Spend the extra time talking with your spouse and children, getting clear about what matters most to you and your family.
Teen Parenting Mistake #3: Sweat the Small Stuff
Maybe you don’t like your daughter’s haircut or choice of clothes. Or perhaps she didn’t get the part in the play you know she deserves. Before you intervene, look at the big picture. If a certain mode of self-expression or set of events does not put your child at risk, give her the leeway to make age-appropriate decisions and live with the results.

Teen Parenting Mistake # 4: Ignore the Big Stuff
If you suspect your child is using alcohol or drugs, do not look the other way. Parents should address suspected drug or alcohol use right away, before it escalates into a bigger problem, says Amelia M. Arria, PhD, director of the Center on Young Adult Health and Development at the University of Maryland School of Public Health.

“The years when kids are between 13 and 18 years old are an essential time for parents to stay involved,” Arria tells WebMD. Parents might consider teen drinking a rite of passage because they drank when they were that age. “But the stakes are higher now,” she says.

More drugs are available today, illegal drugs and legal medications. For example, cough remedies with DXM (dextromethorphan) have become a new drug of choice for some teens. DXM is easy to get and teens and parents alike underrate its potential dangers. Studies show that between 7% and 10% of U.S. teens have reported abusing cough medicine to get high. Although safe when used as directed, DXM can cause hallucinations and disassociations similar to PCP or ketamine (Special K) when used in excessive amounts, as well as rapid heartbeat, unconsciousness, stomach pain, and vomiting.

Watch for unexplained changes in your teen’s behavior, appearance, academic performance, and friends. If you find empty cough medicine packaging in your child’s trash or backpack, if bottles of medicine go missing from your cabinet, or if you find unfamiliar pills, pipes, rolling papers, or matches, your child could be abusing drugs. Take these signs seriously and get involved. Safeguard all the medicines you have: Know which products are in your home and how much medication is in each package or bottle.

Mistake #5: Rule With an Iron Fist, or Kid Gloves
Some parents, sensing a loss of control over their teens’ behavior, crack down every time their child steps out of line. Every day brings a new punishment. The home becomes a war zone. By contrast, other parents avoid all conflict for fear their teens will push them away. They put being a cool parent ahead of setting limits and enforcing rules. For these parents, discipline is a dirty word.

To read the complete report by Joanne Barker, visit www.webmd.com.

It is very easy for outsiders to judge and give advice about raising our teens.  Remember, each family is unique and each child is different.  Although some people believe in the tough love approach, it is diffcult to employ when your teens are still minors.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: 5 Parenting mistakes with teens and tweens - Fort Lauderdale Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-fort-lauderdale/5-parenting-mistakes-with-teens-and-tweens#ixzz1EExJX3cf

Sue Scheff: Grandparents Raising Kids

I am actually hearing more and more of this weekly. Whether it is grandparents or other family members, this is becoming common.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Many times this decision is not made totally voluntarily. The grandparents take it on because they love and care for the child.”

– Nick Hume, Ph.D., Psychologist

The government reports that nearly 2.5 million grandparents in the U.S. are soley responsible for the care of their grandchildren. And being a parent the second time around can be rewarding and full of challenges.

Jean Rhodes is no longer just grandma. For the past five years she has become “mommy” once again.

Rhodes began raising her son’s daughter, Anasha, at age two after the little girl’s mom died and dad couldn’t care for her.

“I knew she depended on me…needed me, ” Rhodes says.

Six months ago another granddaughter needed her too…6-year-old Sasha. Giving up her freedom and independence was difficult at first for Rhodes, and she admits she was a bit resentful in the beginning.

“It was like, why me? Why do I have to do this again?” Rhodes says. “But that passed.”

Today, more than two million grandparents are now raising their grandkids. That number has been rising for nearly two decades.

And experts say that shifting of roles from grandparent to parent, from grandchild to child, can create a mix of emotions.

“There’s going to be natural hurt, anger, resentment, resistance and rebellion,” says Dr. Nick Hume, a psychologist.

There are also sacrifices, both emotional and financial.

“I didn’t have a lot of money to do a lot of things, but I tried to give Anasha love,” Rhodes says.

Experts say it’s important for grandparents to get support. “Find other people where you can share and talk; people who may be further along than you or in the same situation who will give you permission to say what you’re feeling is normal and okay,” says Dr. Hume.

Rhodes has found comfort in a grandparents’ support group, and in her role as mother…. the second time around.

“I wouldn’t hesitate,” she says, “to do this again.”

Tips for Parents

In any multigenerational family, grandparents are an important resource. But for increasing numbers of children, grandparents are their only resource. According to recently released US Census figures, 5.6 million grandparents live with their grandchildren. Of these grandparents, 42% (2.35 million) are responsible for the care of the children. The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) provides the following breakdown of the figures:

■The number of grandparent-headed households has increased 76% since 1970, and 19% since 1990.
■Six percent of all U.S. children under age 18 are growing up in grandparent-headed households.
■One-point-three million of these grandparents are married couples, 1.1 million are single grandmothers, and 157,000 are grandfathers.
■The majority of grandparents are between ages 55 and 64. Almost one-quarter are over 65.
■While grandparent-headed families cross all socio-economic levels, these grandparents are more likely to live in poverty than other grandparents.
■There are eight times more children in grandparent-headed homes than in the foster care system.
Though motivated by love for their grandchildren, taking on the job of parenting can provide frustrating challenges to grandparents. Many grandparents are preparing to slow down. The transition to full-time parenting can cause feelings of resentment, anger, loss and grief. In addition to the emotional adjustment, grandparents face legal and financial challenges.

Often times, grandparents step in to fill the parenting role without gaining legal guardianship of the child. Obtaining custody and legal guardianship can involve a lengthy and costly court battle. In some states, grandparents who do not have legal guardianship cannot enroll a child in school, have access to school records or secure medical care.

The AARP provides this list of additional challenges facing grandparents who are raising grandchildren:

■Making financial decisions that may involve a grandparent’s employment or applying for benefits like Medicaid or Social Security.
■Choosing appropriate childcare, including daycare, after-school programs, and respite care.
■Providing adequate medical care, including getting insurance coverage through private insurance or public programs.
■Educating their grandchildren.
■Providing emotional support to their grandchildren and finding support for themselves.
The American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry says it is very important for grandparents to receive support and assistance. Seeking out other family members, clergy, support groups and social agencies can be helpful.

References
■American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
■American Association of Retired Persons
■United States Census Bureau

Sue Scheff: Michele Borba: Teen Cold & Cough Syrup Addiction Risky Teen Behavior Series 2.

By Michele Borba

This is the second in a series of Risky Teen Behaviors from a segment I did for the NBC Today Show. This next risky teen behavior is right in your medicine cabinet. Taking cough and cold medications continues to be a hot craze for kids. The trend IS increasing and younger kids are joining ranks. It is also the cause of addictions as well as deaths.

YOUR REALITY CHECK: When is the last time you checked your medicine cabinet for cold and cough syrup medications (especially those bearing the letter DXM)? What about your prescription drugs? One of the riskiest teen behaviors is right there in your own medicine cabinet. Are you noticing that any are disappearing? Pharmacies and drug stores are now locking these medicines up to fight off kid theft.

The ingredient found in most popular nonprescription cold and cough medicines — called Dextromethorphan or DXM– can be safely taken in the recommended dosage. However, when taken in high doses it can produce euphoric highs and hallucinations and can become a dangerous, ever deadly mind-altering drug. Many kids are taking as much as 25 to 50 times the recommended dose to get high. You do the math.

Get Savvy About the Stats on Cold and Cough Medication

•One out of every fourteen kids aged 12 to 17 (more than 2.4 million) admit using cold or cough medicine “fairly recently” to get high
•The highest incidents of abuse are amongst teens 15 to 16-year-olds
•One in ten teens says they have used Vicodin, a potentially habit-forming painkiller. OxyContin, stimulants like Ritalin, inhalers (all prescription medications) are also widely used among teens. Beware of your own prescription medications
•Only 45 percent of teens believe that abusing cough medicine to get high it risky. Talk seriously and firmly to your child about this issue.

What Parents Can Do

* Listen for code words: Skittling, Tussing, Skittles, Robo-tripping, Red Devils, Velvet, Triple C, C-C-C-, Robotard are some of the names kids use for cough and cold medication abuse.

* Keep track of how much medicine is in your house.Keep medicines that could potentially be abused in less accessible places.

* Read the labels. Look for medicines that contain dextromethorphan or DXM in the active ingredient section of the over-the-counter Drug Facts label.

* Don’t stockpile on over-the-counter medicines. It might tempt your teen or his friends.

* Monitor your teen’s Internet use.Many website and online communities promote the abuse of DMT or other drugs. Social networking sites such as MySpace, YouTube and Facebook provided detailed instructions for getting high as well as videos of kids abusing cough medicine.

* Join the Five Moms Campaign. Read how five moms decided to tell other parents about teen cough syrup abuse and how they are succeeding in spreading their message. I love these moms! They’re on a mission to spread the word and are succeeding. (the URL is www.fivemoms.com)

* Talk about the dangers. Kids perceive that because cough and cold medications are available in drug stores, they are safe.

* Stay on top of this!!! Kids are taking this stuff 25 to 50 times the recommended dosage and also taking it WITH alcohol. Doing so can be lethal. Teens also crunch up those little time capsules and take them in one lump dose.

* Check for empty bottles. Look in pockets, garbage cans, cars, under beds, etc. for empty wrappers.

* Smell your child for a medicinal odor.The cough syrup will have an odor. Pills will not.

* Check your child’s eyes. Check for slurry speech. Sleepiness. Wobbly walking. Check the alochol content on the cough syrup bottle. It may shock you.

* Listen and watch. Notice if your child complains of a cold or cough (but doesn’t have the symptoms).
Drug stores are keeping these medicines under lock and key (there are over 120 medicines with DXM in them). You should do so as well.

* Keep track of your own prescription drugs. Kids are abusing not only their parents’ painkillers but also their friends’ Ritalin supply. Get savvy!!

Get on board with other parents. Please pass this blog onto other moms and dads. And do what you always do: Talk, Talk, Talk to your child about cold and cough medication abuse. And then talk some more.

For daily parenting solutions follow Michele on twitter @micheleborba

Dr. Michele Borba is the author of over 22 books including the upcoming Big Book of Parenting Solutions.

Sue Scheff: Mom Talk Radio

The Radio Show for today's smart Mom's!

Mom Talk Radio, the first radio talk show dedicated to real-life moms. Hosted by Maria Bailey, author, founder of BlueSuitMom.com and mother of four active kids.

I was fortunate to be part of this show last year with the release of my parenting book, Wit's End!, and from my own experience, Maria Bailey offers a parenting touch on her show - with her own first hand experiences and her expertise in the parenting field.

Take the time to listen to her podcasts and learn more about parenting today!

Sue Scheff: Dare to be Real - Empowering and Inspiring Teens

Mena Gagne offers inspiration and motivation to tweens and teens through her seminars, programs, consulting and more. Take a moment to review her program - DARE TO BE REAL - at http://daretobereal.ca/

Check out what teens are saying about her: http://daretobereal.ca/testimonials/

Founded and led by Mena Gagné, DARE TO BE REAL Coaching & Consulting is a transformational youth and leadership development company. Mena is a Leadership / Relationship / Team Coach who is passionate about working with today’s youth (aged 12 – 19), as well as with committed leaders and teams within organizations.

Sue Scheff: Teen Resources

FINK Teen Resources

What is FINK? Family Interaction Nurtures Kids

Family conversations, open lines of communications, and so much more is offered on this bright, cheery and educational website.

You soon realize, you are not alone and some of these articles are many questions parents ask, but don't know where to get answers. Check this out!!!

http://finkblog.com/

Follow them on Twitter and Facebook!

Sue Scheff - Parent Help with Teens

After speaking with a mother yesterday in Northern Florida, she introduced me to another valuable website of information for other parents. Parents’ Universal Resource Experts is based on parents helping parents and this is another example of it.

Source: www.ihelpparents.com

What you as a parent will need to change unwanted child behavior?1. A commitment: We can’t keep you from giving up on your child. Only you can stay committed to parenting.
2. A plan: Without a plan you will not succeed.

3. Support: Without someone to stand with you, to encourage you and to guide you, you will fail. Changing unwanted, defiant child behavior is just too difficult to go it alone.

If you have these three necessary requirements, we are ready to help you. We can show you what to do and how to do it, but we can’t do it for you. That’s the parent’s job. We have lots of success in helping parents change unwanted child behavior from 7 to 17.

We can help every parent develop a plan. The parenting plan we facilitate is the nation’s best parenting program. It’s call the Parent Project, www.parentproject.com, and they are already in 32 states. This program has been around for 20 years. It’s not on trial. Whether this parenting plan works is totally based on your ability to execute the Parent Project parenting plan.

Learn more here.