Building Self-Esteem with Teens and Tweens

It is that time again when Dove reaches out and helps inspire young girls to make a difference in the world.

Join the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem and Help Us Create a World Where Beauty is a Source of Confidence, Not Anxiety

Everyone Has the Opportunity to Make a Difference in a Young Girl’s Self-Esteem

Dove_® is committed to inspiring all women and girls to reach their full potential by caring for themselves and each other. The Dove Movement for Self-Esteem invites all women to join us in creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety. There are many ways in which women can take simple actions that build self-esteem in girls. It could be as simple as inspiring the next generation with words of encouragement, spending an hour on a self-esteem building activity, or supporting self-esteem education in her town.

When women join the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem at dove.com, they will become part of a community committed to this vision and will receive regular updates on a variety of ways to get involved. Currently, women can participate in the Movement in the following ways:

• Join the Movement: By adding their name to the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem women can join us in creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety.

• Tell Us “Who Inspired You?”: Our newest effort will celebrate the efforts of women who are leading by example to inspire the next generation to reach their full potential. We invite women to answer the question “Who Inspired You” on Dove online channels: Facebook, Twitter, and Dove.com, to honor the positive impact someone had on their life. When women share their story, Dove will make $1 donation to support self-esteem education in the U.S.*
  

• Download our Tools: Visit dove.com to access free tools to take simple actions to build self-esteem in young girls. We have reached over 7 million girls so far, and have set a global goal of reaching 15 million girls by 2015. Together with experts, and key partners we have created self-esteem building, educational programs, and activities for girls, moms, and mentors.
  

• Join us for the Second Annual Dove Movement for Self-Esteem Weekend in October: Dove encourages women everywhere to commit to spending one hour on a self-esteem building activity with a girl in their lives during the Dove Self-Esteem Weekend taking place from October 21 – 23.

About Our Partners: In the United States, Dove supports The Girl Scouts of the USA, Boys & Girls Clubs of America, and Girls, Inc. with after-school programs, self-esteem building events and educational resources. Dove also supports the Alliance for Women in Media.

Learn more at www.DoveMovement.com.

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Self-Esteem and Your Teens

Self-esteem, confidence, feeling good about yourself etc… All of these are very important to helping your teen make good decisions for their future.

You have been saving for your teen’s college tuition for more than a decade. You have kept him on track in his studies. You have ferried him to countless soccer meets and football games. You may feel like you’re doing everything you can to ensure that your children have bright and promising futures, but you still may have overlooked a crucial element: their self-esteem.

Self-esteem is not something that should be pushed aside. In fact, a healthy sense of self-esteem is much more crucial to your teen’s future than you may initially think. Self-esteem is a measure of someone’s confidence in his or her capabilities as well as his or her sense of identity. It allows people to determine what they can and cannot do. Those with higher levels of self-esteem tend to feel more confident about their capabilities and therefore are more willing to take on challenges and try new things. They also are more likely to be independent and motivated, which is good for teenagers because it will allow them to better tackle the rigors of academics and college life.

Those with lower levels of self-esteem, however, are likely to be nervous, uncertain, dependent, and unmotivated. This is because they lack a sense of security in their capabilities, and therefore are more unwilling to do anything where failure is a possibility. Alarmingly, research cited by the Counseling and Mental Health Center of the University of Texas indicates that low levels of self-esteem can also increase a teen’s likelihood of becoming involved in drug use. For young women, unplanned pregnancies are more prevalent for those with low levels of self-esteem. Low self-esteem also can lead to the development of depression or anxiety.

Unfortunately, teenagers naturally have lower levels of self-esteem because they are going through numerous life changes and facing many new and uncertain things. For example, the onset of puberty, having to navigate high school politics, and moving away to tackle college are all uncertainties that can cause many teens to feel unsure about who they really are and who they will become. The overall result of all these changes is a shaken self-esteem.

It is important for parents to guide their teens through this confusing period so that they may regain the self-esteem they need to get through it all unscathed. You can do this by encouraging your teen to take care of himself. Good physical health can do wonders for mental health and self-esteem, so when your teen seems to be feeling bad about himself, go for a brisk walk with him. This will help him to get his muscles moving and perk his spirit up, according to the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. You can also strive to praise him whenever he does something commendable, such as having a good soccer meet or receiving a good grade in class. The praise does not have to be over-the-top gushing each time. In fact, a simple, “Good job!” can improve a teen’s self-esteem dramatically.

All in all, parents can ensure that their teens have a healthy level of self-esteem by offering them support, love, and respect. This way, teens can develop a good sense of who they are and what they can do, leading to the bright and promising future you always wanted for them.

By-line:
Lauren Bailey, a freelancer who blogs about online colleges, contributed this guest post.  She can be reached via email at: blauren99@gmail.com.

Continue reading on Examiner.com: Do you need a boost? Start early! - Jacksonville Parenting Teens | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/parenting-teens-in-jacksonville/do-you-need-a-boost-start-early#ixzz1FMcyHfwa

Be your daughter's champion: A one minute compliment is a lifetime of change

The clock is ticking, the alarm is ringing, and the sun is starting to come up.  It is Monday morning and time for school and for most parents, time to go to work.

Many rush around, especially on a Monday morning after a long and fun weekend, and go through the motions of getting their clothes on, doing their hair, brushing your teeth and don't forget to eat breakfast!  In between you are making sure you have a lunch or lunch money, packing the backpack or briefcase and trying to get out the door on time.

Let's stop, roll back the clock and take at least one minute to say something positive to each other!  Just one minute can make a lifetime of change to your daughter.  Build their self-esteem and let them know they are loved no matter how busy you are, there is always time for her.

The Dove Movement for Self-Esteem invites all women to join us in creating a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety.

Coming in October is The Dove Self-Esteem Weekend and it is a perfect time for you to be a champion for your daughter or a special young girl in your life.

• Everyone has the opportunity to make a difference in a young girl’s self-esteem
  • Dove is uniting women across the country – individuals, partners and grassroots organizations
  • Providing the next generation of women with the tools to build a positive relationship with beauty and reach their full potential

Dove Movement for Self-Esteem is getting into full swing.  With the help of the Boys and Girls Club, Girls Inc. and Girls Scouts, Dove is marching out a campaign to help teen girls have a brighter future and step into their own skin by believing in themselves.

Teen Self-Esteem: Dove Movement Campaign 2010

As the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem unfolds, there is a powerful question that is being passed around and one that most people have a variety of answers for. Whether you are 18 or 58 or even 78, the answers contain lessons from experience.

What do you wish you had known at 13 years old?

Here are some of the responses from the Dove Movement website as well as from Twitter:

•Play more, worry less!
•My father really was smart but at 13 I knew it all.
•Enjoy being young/don't wish to be older yet.
•That the abuse I was suffering had nothing to do with how bad I was but how bad the perpetrator was.
•That being myself was the best way to be 'cool!'

These are only a few of the fantastic responses the Dove Movement has received. For those in South Florida, one of the issues that is often heard, is about using sun-screen more generously. In your teen years many are more concerned about their tan (self-image) than the damage the sun is doing to your skin. In later years, as the skin starts to wrinkle, it can be a lesson we wish we had known (or listened to our parents).

The Dove Movement for Self-Esteem is being sponsored by the Boys and Girls Club, Girls Inc. and Girls Scouts, Dove is marching out a campaign to help teen girls have a brighter future and step into their own skin by believing in themselves.

Watch video.

Sue Scheff: Helping Girls Be Strong & Confident And Buck Negative Media Messages

Very exciting, Dr. Michele Borba's BIG Book of Parenting Solutions is coming soon (September 3rd!) Here is another sneak peak of her expert advice for parents!

Helping Girls Be Strong & Confident And Buck Negative Media Messages

By Michele Borba

I don’t know about you, but I’m suffering from a bad case of only what I can call “Shudder Syndrome”, and it seems to be worsening. It’s a relatively new ailment, but it always materializes when I read those disturbing statistics about young girls. I’m sure you know the ones about anorexia, depression, cutting, date rape, binge drinking, aggression, and bulimia. The list goes on and on. The minute I hear one, my ailment flares up: it always starts with a bad feeling deep down, and then my whole body just shudders. There has to be other parents like me who are shaking with worry. And I’m the mom of three boys! I can only imagine your symptoms if you’re raising daughters. This is scary stuff.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that our girls are doomed. And certainly boys have their own share of problems as well. I’m just saying we need to keep a closer eye on those trends and realize leading experts are concerned about the young female gender (and with quite valid reasons). We are seeing a rise in depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem. Most experts agree that it’s due to continual negative messages that happiness comes from the outside (being a particular dress size, wearing designer labels, or getting liposuction or breast implants (I kid you not. The increase of plastic surgery among young women is frightening!) Robbed is that great notion that real happiness comes from the inside.

So how do we counter those constant negative media continually bombard our girls? How do we help young girls realize that there are other ways to be happy than by being rich, famous, or pencil-thin? What are ways for parents to help their daughters learn to feel comfortable in their own skin without having to copy “the look” of this week’s Hollywood idol? And just how do we turn these troubling trends around and help our girls grow to be strong, confident and happy?

Here are the four strategies:

1. Be a confident mom. Girls don’t learn to love themselves by hearing our self-esteem dinner lecture, but by having confident role models to copy. Sounds so obvious, but how easily that child development tenet is overlooked. And there’s proof: A famous University of California at Davis study found that a mother’s working status, occupation, income, education, religious affiliation, and even IQ were no where as significant on her child’s self-esteem as the mother’s own confidence level.

Your self-perceptions–whether high or low—do trickle down to your child. So take care of yourself so your daughter can learn to love herself just as she is. Ask yourself one question each night: “If my daughter had only my behavior to watch today what would she have caught?” Was it independence or dependence? Confidence or insecurity? Be mindful of your influence. Model what you want your daughter to become. You do matter.

2. Stay connected to your daughter. I know those preteen and teen years can be tough on a parent’s ego, but a big mistake is stepping back from our daughter’s lives. Don’t! One of the most comforting finding (that didn’t make me shutter) was a survey conducted by the Girl Scouts of America survey. (Gotta love the Girl Scouts). Read this carefully: Ninety one percent of over 2000 girls surveyed aged eight to nine go to their mothers for advice.

Find ways to stay connected and get into her life. Granted, it may take a bit of creativity, but think! If your daughter is leaning more towards her peers, why not get a few of her friend’s mothers on board? Start a mother-daughter book club or go to yoga or exercise as a group. Watch Friends or Mean Girl with her. Read and discuss Harry Potter because she loves it. Or do what one mom told me she did: read Teen People so you can get into her zone.

3. Foster her strengths and passions. Find that spark in your daughter and help nurture her passions, capabilities, and interests. Yoga, horseback riding, drawing, basketball, writing, cooking: what turns your daughter on? Always tailor your parenting towards her natural nature so she has permission to be herself. Let her know you love her for who she really is—not for what you hope she will become. Doing so is one of the best ways to nurture strong identity and self-worth.

4. Find positive, female role models. Let’s offer our daughters female role models who feel comfortable in their own skin (and don’t need to rely on Botox, breast implants, dieting, and designer labels to feel attractive). What about J.R. Rowling, Erin Brockovich, Michelle Wei, Anne Hathaway, Great Aunt Harriet or even the neighbor lady next door? Expose your daughter to authentic, confident women, and then tell her why you admire them. Our girls need strong, resourceful female examples to emulate. Enough of Paris, Lindsay and Britney!

Our best hope is to help daughters learn as early as possible that real happiness isn’t borrowed or copied, but lies within. That’s exactly why we need to help our girls become strong from the inside out. Doing so is what will help our daughters feel comfortable in their own skin. It’s also the best cure for not only my shutter syndrome (and I’m sure yours), but for those troubling trends plaguing today’s American young girls.

You can start by boosting your influence with your daughter and stay more connected in her life. It’s the best way to counter those negative media messages and help her become her own person and enjoy who she is.

Pre-Order your book today! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0787988316

Follow Michele Borba on Twitter at @MicheleBorba

Sue Scheff: Encourage Your Teens to Give Back - Locks of Love

Learn more and encourage your teens or tween with long hair to give back to those that are in need due to hair loss because of serious illnesses. Summer is here, isn't it time to cool off and trim your hair? Think of the happiness you can bring to these kids.

WHAT IS LOCKS OF LOVE?

Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. We meet a unique need for children by using donated hair to create the highest quality hair prosthetics. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair due to a medical condition called alopecia areata, which has no known cause or cure. The prostheses we provide help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence, enabling them to face the world and their peers.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics to financially disadvantaged children. The children receive hair prostheses free of charge or on a sliding scale, based on financial need.

Learn more: http://locksoflove.org

Sue Scheff: Teen Depression

Be aware of your teens emotional needs. During the summer can be a difficult time if they don't have goals, plans and activities. Get them involved. If they don't have a job, encourage them to volunteer at Nursing Homes, Humane Societies, etc. Building their self esteem can help them feel good about themselves.

There are many causes of teen depression. The most common causes are:

•Significant life events like the death of a family member or close friend, parents divorce or split, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or moving to a new school/area.

•Emotional/Physical neglect, being separated from a nurturer, abuse, damage to self esteem.

•Many changes happening too quickly can cause depression. For some teens, any major change at one time can trigger symptoms.

•Stress, especially in cases where the teen has little or no emotional support from parents, other family members, or friends.

•Past traumatic events or experiences like sexual abuse, general abuse, or other major experiences often harbor deep within a child and emerge in the teen years. Most children are unable to process these types of events when they happen, but of course, they remember them. As they age, the events/experiences become clearer and they gain new understanding.
•Changes associated with puberty often cause emotions labeled as depression.

•Abuse of drugs or other substances can cause changes in the brainÕs chemistry, in many cases, causing some types of depression.

•Some medical conditions such as hypothyroidism are believed to affect hormone and mood balance. Physical pain that is chronic can also trigger depression. In many cases, depression caused by medical conditions disappears when medical attention is sought and treatment occurs.
•Depression is a genetic disorder, and teens with family members who have suffered from depression have a higher chance of developing it themselves.

Learn more.

Sue Scheff: Top Ten Youth Volunteers - Receive Awards

The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards, the United States’ largest youth recognition program based solely on volunteer service. For their extraordinary efforts in serving others through volunteerism, ten middle and high school students from across the country were named America's top ten youth volunteers for 2009 in a ceremony at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce headquarters, capping the 14th year of The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards.

Each year, The Prudential Spirit of Community Awards honors the outstanding community service of young Americans. The results are now in the top ten youth volunteers from the May 4th ceremony have been announced! Want to watch the winners receive their awards? I invite you to watch a webcast event, replaying all of the wonderfully inspiring moments and announcements:

http://www.visualwebcaster.com/event.asp?id=57997

You can get your children and community involved by encouraging them to visit http://spirit.prudential.com/ where they can find out how to become a nominee for next year’s honorary ceremony.

Sarah Maria - Body Image in Teens

Source: Break Free Beauty - Sarah Maria

If you're in high school, most of your friends are probably on a diet. A recent study shows that 90% of junior and senior girls are on a diet regularly, even though only 10-15% are actually overweight.

The modeling industry also promotes the idea that you need to diet and exercise religiously. Fashion models are actually thinner than 98% of American women. An average woman stands 5'4" tall and weighs about 140 lbs, while the average fashion model is a towering 5'11" tall and weighs under 117 lbs.

In reality no amount of dieting, exercise and discipline can earn you a magazine cover-ready body because those photos have been Photo Shopped, doctored and airbrushed. Don't waste your time attempting to be what you are not, instead; focus on cultivating who you are!

Body Image Tips
As you progress through puberty and your high school years, your body changes as fast as your favorite ringtones. But learning to appreciate your body and have positive self image is a task that few adults have even mastered. Here are some tips to help you learn to love yourself:

Learn to Cook- It is never too early to learn to cook. In just a few years, you will be on your own and you will be expected to feed and take care of yourself. Get some practice at home by preparing some family meals or meals for just yourself. Try some new foods by looking through cookbooks and online. Impress your friends by having a dinner party. This also helps you understand how food functions within a regular diet. Learn how to cook healthily so you can eat healthily, but don't spend too much time worrying about food!

Don't Diet!- Dieting is a great way to ruin your eating habits and your relationship with food and your body. Instead, learn about healthy eating and exercise habits. The healthy habits you learn while you are young will serve you throughout your life!

People Watch- Go to the mall or a public space and people watch. How many are fat or thin? How tall are most women? Men? What do you like or dislike about people's styles, looks or body type? How much of their appearance is "style" and how much is their actual body types? Cultivate the ability to see style and beauty in everyone. As you learn to do this, you can be a trend-setter instead of a trend-follower.

Keep it Real- Remember, people only pick the best photos to be on their MySpace or Facebook page. Remind yourself that they all have bad hair days, the occasional zit or an unflattering outfit choice.

Stay Well Rounded- Sign up for activities that you have never tried. Join an intramural sport or speech meet. Build up your college resume by participating in extracurricular activities. It's a great way to broaden your social circle and prepares you for college or a job.

Be a Trend Setter- Don't just follow the crowd - create your own crowd by being a trend setter. Find your own style and look by experimenting with your hair, makeup and clothing. What is your look trying to say? Does it match what you want people to think about you? Someone has to set the trends. Why not you?

Learn to meditate- It is never too early to learn to meditate. You will find that this is a skill you can use all your life. By focusing inward, it is easier to distill the truth rather than listening to outside influences. It will also help you manage the stress of your busy life.


Parental Tips
If you are a parent of a teen, you know the challenges of living with an emotional, possibly aloof teenager who begs for guidance but disregards most of what you say. Their alternating moods and attitudes make approaching a touchy subject like body image feel dangerous. The following are some tips to help with a positive body image:

Have an Open Door Policy-You'd like your teen to approach you with any problem she is facing but often you aren't sure if she's coming to you, going to her friends or suffering alone. Encourage regular candid conversation by noticing what times and places your teen is most likely to talk. Is she a night owl? Does she like talking on a long drive? Is she more comfortable emailing? Use the time and venue that is most comfortable for her and encourage open sharing.

Limit Harmful Media- Put your teen daughter on a media diet. Don't feel you need to restrict website, magazine or TV shows entirely. Just be cautious of what mediums she concentrates on. Be especially mindful of any one celebrity that she idolizes or photos that she tears out and stares at repeatedly. Discuss how all magazine photos are airbrushed and doctored.

Compliment Her and Her Friends- Make a point to compliment both your daughter and her friends on a well-put together outfit or a new hair style. Teens are trying on new looks and personalities as their bodies change. Let them know that they have hit on a good look when they experiment in the right direction.

Make sure to compliment them on things not related to their appearance as well. A good grade, a valiant sports effort or kind deed also deserve notice. Try to practice a 90/10% rule. Let 90% of your comments and insights be positive and only 10% should be carefully worded constructive criticism.

Sue Scheff: Teens and Tattoo's

This can be a hot topic today - each parent has their own beliefs, however learn more about getting tattoo’s and important information for keeping it safe.

Source: TeensHealth

It seems like everyone has a tattoo these days. What used to be the property of sailors, outlaws, and biker gangs is now a popular body decoration for many people. And it’s not just anchors, skulls, and battleships anymore — from school emblems to Celtic designs to personalized symbols, people have found many ways to express themselves with their tattoos. Maybe you’ve thought about getting one. But before you head down to the nearest tattoo shop and roll up your sleeve, there are a few things you need to know.

WHAT IS A TATTOO?

A tattoo is a puncture wound, made deep in your skin, that’s filled with ink. It’s made by penetrating your skin with a needle and injecting ink into the area, usually creating some sort of design. What makes tattoos so long-lasting is they’re so deep — the ink isn’t injected into the epidermis (the top layer of skin that you continue to produce and shed throughout your lifetime). Instead, the ink is injected into the dermis, which is the second, deeper layer of skin. Dermis cells are very stable, so the tattoo is practically permanent.

Tattoos used to be done manually — that is, the tattoo artist would puncture the skin with a needle and inject the ink by hand. Though this process is still used in some parts of the world, most tattoo shops use a tattoo machine these days. A tattoo machine is a handheld electric instrument that uses a tube and needle system. On one end is a sterilized needle, which is attached to tubes that contain ink. A foot switch is used to turn on the machine, which moves the needle in and out while driving the ink about 1/8 inch (about 3 millimeters) into your skin.Most tattoo artists know how deep to drive the needle into your skin, but not going deep enough will produce a ragged tattoo, and going too deep can cause bleeding and intense pain. Getting a tattoo can take several hours, depending on the size and design chosen.

Read entire article: http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_body/body_art/safe_tattooing.html

Sue Scheff: Teen Girls and Self Image

By Debra Beck

In this funny, honest book, teen expert and mentor Debra Beck provides in-depth examples and exercises to develop the tools you need for self-confidence. Learn how to have fulfilling relationships, make good decisions for yourself, respect yourself and others, and love yourself for who you are.

Check out more about this wonderful and informational website at http://www.myfeetarentugly.com/index.html.

Helping Teens Answer the Question

The journey from childhood to adolescence is very challenging. Between the ages of 10 and 17 there are major changes in physical, cognitive, social, and moral development. The major task for adolescents is to establish their self-identity. By ...

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Beautiful Women Project

Today women are led to believe that beauty can only be achieved through the latest diet, exercise craze, miracle potion, or surgical procedure. As a parent advocate (Sue Scheff) teens need to start with self esteem through feeling good about themselves both inside and out.

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