College Choices and Options for Your Teenager

Nothing is more difficult as a parent than watching your babies leave the nest.


This moment can happen at any age, but one of the most common associations is on the day they start college courses.

Even if your child will be living at home for a few years when they start school, the beginning of college still marks the beginning of their adult life. So, how do you prepare your kids for the process of choosing a college based on their needs? And, how do you do this while recognizing that this decision is, ultimately, up to your child?

Even though this can feel like a thin tight rope to walk, and you may be more nervous about your child’s choice of college than he or she is, it is still very important to have a discussion with your teen about future college plans. In fact, this conversation can be helpful for you both.

Here are some good tips for going about it:

1. Be realistic about your expectations.  This is probably the most important step parents need to reach in order to have a successful talk with their teen about college. There is nothing wrong about setting high standards for your children and having high hopes for the education that they will pursue after graduation, especially if you intend to pay for it. However, you have to remember that, once they graduate high school, your kids’ lives are technically in their own hands. They will be of the age to make their own decisions and determine their own futures. So, parents need to reach a healthy balance of personal expectations and allowing their children the freedom to follow their own dreams before a conversation can be had.

2. Figure out how they feel.  The next step after you have come to terms with your own expectations is to figure out what your child’s expectations are for him or herself. Starting in on page twenty when your kid has only thought about college to about page four won’t really work. Likewise, falsely assuming your child is starting at square one when, in fact, he or she has been researching schools for months is another way to start the conversation off on the wrong foot. Instead, ask your child how much time they have spent thinking about going to college. Then, ask them what they have been feeling about it. Figure out where your kids are in the process before you carry on with a discussion.

3. Make sure they understand the commitment.  There is more to college than picking a school and signing up. College students are no longer on a high school timetable where they attend school from 8 to 3 every day and have their schedules lined up for them. In college, your child will be responsible for getting himself to class on his own and getting work done in a timely manner without parental supervision. There is also a huge financial commitment involved in enrollment. Once you know your child’s plans, you can discuss with them the realities of those plans and how they mesh with the realities of what your family can provide.

4. Ask what you can do to help.  Instead of becoming a dictator in your child’s college search, simply ask what you can do to help the process. Ultimately, unless your child wants you to choose a school for them, the choice of where to go and what to study is up to your kid, so you should simply act as a form of help and guidance in the process. Let them know that you are there for them, no matter what. If your teenager doesn’t seem to know how to take the first steps toward figuring out college plans, then you can step in and provide a little direction by setting up school visits and looking for information about degree plans.

5. Suggest other sources of guidance.  If your teen is less than enthusiastic about working with you on college plans, you can refer them to someone you trust to provide insight and advice. Try suggesting that they talk to their favorite teacher, a college-aged cousin, or anyone else who has their best interests at heart for help along the way.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.

College Applications: 5 Tips for Applicants and Parents

As second semester is sailing into spring, juniors are now prepping for their SATs, ACTs and looking at colleges.  This summer many are planning their trips to visit colleges they would like to attend for their next step in education.  A special guest post by Debbie Lawrence from Schools.com has some very good tips for both parents and students to take advantage of.

5 Easy Ways to Help Prepare Your Kid(s) for College Applications

The end of junior year of high school is a time for both celebration and organization. While the end of the year allows students to breathe a collective sigh of relief, they don’t get to relax for too long before being submerged into the deep waters of the college application process. It can be an exciting time for students, who can finally see college on the horizon, but for many it can also be a daunting experience. This is why it’s important that parents play a supporting role in the college application process, whether their son/daughter likes it or not. While many students think that parental advice and encouragement is akin to nagging, students usually come to appreciate all of the help they received.

As a parent, you play a pivotal role in helping your student streamline the applications process and while it can be time-consuming, it is also worthwhile. There is an easy way to approach this nerve-wracking
experience though – it’s called thinking ahead.

Here are five simple ways to help prepare you and your kid(s) for the college application process without the unwanted stress:

1. Help them make a checklist

College applications usually require a number of different pieces to come together, and that is often difficult for a high school student who has limited experience managing their time, which is where you come in. Don’t make the list for them, but help them make a list of all the different essays and transcripts and recommendations they will need to complete the applications. That way, when it comes time to actually submit the application, your student can refer to their list to ensure they aren’t missing a crucial part of the application.

2. Research the financial aid possibilities with them

Let’s face it, unless your student is Justin Bieber or Dakota Fanning, the money for college is either going to come from you, from financial aid, or from a combination of the two. Also, most high school students understand the cost of college, but because they aren’t paying the bills themselves, cost is low on their list of priorities.  If you want your student to be fiscally responsible, involve them in the financial aid research and decision-making process, and work with them to guide their decisions.

3. Use the common application for as many schools as possible.

According to its website, the common application now has 456 member schools in 46 different states as well as France, Germany, Italy, Scotland, and Switzerland. This means the chances are high that, if your student is looking at a bunch of schools, some of those schools are common application members. Gathering all the information that the common application requires is quite the undertaking, and most schools still have additional, school-specific requirements. But once you have collected all of the information, you can use that same information to apply to as many member schools as you want. This will save you and your student countless hours of tedious work and will make the application process more efficient.

4. Discuss interests and options with your student

This can be tricky because some students will see this as nagging, but it is still important to get your student thinking about their future, especially because high school students tend to live in the present. Trying to push them towards a school or program will undoubtedly backfire, so just listen instead. Let your student decide what programs and extracurriculars he might be interested in, and then present him with some schools that fit his/her interests best. Moreover, this is a great opportunity to find a tutor in order to give them some SAT help or help them improve any weaknesses in subjects that they might be struggling with. 

5.      Always offer your help and be supportive of their decisions.
Some kids don’t want any help from their parents and respond negatively when they try. They want you to trust that they will do their own applications while also offering help if they have questions. Maintaining a positive atmosphere is essential when the deadlines are just a stone’s throw away and your student is experiencing all-time stress levels. Remember, you were there once too, and the same things you wish you had done differently could be the same things your child may regret in the future. We all know you just want the best for them, and they will have it, once this process is all over.

Join me on Facebook  and follow me on Twitter for more information and educational articles on parenting today’s teenagers.