Tweens and Facebook: Should They Be Allowed on Facebook?

This is a question that has been lingering for the past couple of years.  We know that kids under 13 are joining, but should they be?

The brave new world of technology has expanded so far that even your grandmother may have an account on the social networking clearinghouse that is Facebook. The fact that your elderly relatives have adopted Facebook, however, doesn’t mean that your child is ready to tackle the social media giant.

When your tween is pleading with you for permission to start a Facebook account and swearing that all of their friends have them, these are 10 of the reasons why you might want to stick to your guns and continue to ban the site for a few more years.

1. Bullying – Being bullied is a devastating situation, even for teenagers and young adults, but tweens are even more likely to be overwhelmed by bullies online. Kids who aren’t victims of bullying may also find themselves joining in with the crowd picking on another youngster in the no-holds-barred world of the Internet.
2. Exposure to Questionable Content – Even if your preteen is never approached by a sexual predator, she’s still likely to come across photos or status updates that simply aren’t age appropriate. A child who doesn’t have a Facebook account may be protected from that objectionable content for a bit longer, though.
3. Online Predators – Sexual predators lurking online are such a problem that entire television series have been dedicated to sting operations designed to catch them. Preteens simply aren’t equipped to properly fend off approaches from predators, and may be more susceptible to their techniques than older kids.
4. They’re Not Technically Allowed to Have Accounts – If you don’t prohibit Facebook use for your preteen for any other reason, you should consider the fact that allowing them to start an account is tantamount to telling them that it’s okay to lie. Facebook doesn’t allow users younger than 13, so your child will have to falsify her age in order to sign up. Doing so with your permission is effectively sending a message that lying is acceptable behavior if you’re lying to get something you really want.
5. Reducing Screen Time – Between television, video games and time spent online for homework purposes, kids spend enough of their day planted in front of an electronic screen. Facebook is just another way for your child to while away the hours in sedentary activity, rather than getting outside and being active.
6. Preserving Academic Performance – When your child is supposed to be online researching homework methods or studying for a big test, his shiny new Facebook account can be a very serious distraction. Kids so young may have difficulty controlling their impulses, and may spend far more time on the social media site than they do actually working.
7. Protecting Your Computer from Malware – You and your teenagers may have a basic idea of how to avoid malware and spyware sent out by unscrupulous Facebook users, but your tween probably doesn’t. Keeping your child off of social media for a few more years can also be your computer’s saving grace.
8. Because Kids Lack Adult Judgment – The fact that college students post photographs of binge drinking parties and incriminating status updates at an alarming rate is proof that young people don’t always have the best judgment when it comes to social networking. For a young child, not understanding acceptable Facebook use could lead to them sharing very sensitive personal information that later proves to be dangerous.
9. Friends Lists Can Be Difficult to Manage – When the friend requests start rolling in, your tween will probably accept each and every one of them because it makes her feel well-liked and cool. That can give some shady characters access to her profile, something she may have trouble understanding when she’s still so young.
10. Tech-Savvy Tweens Can Block Your Monitoring Efforts – Some preteens may have trouble avoiding malware and managing a friends list, but others will be tech-savvy enough to filter their updates and change security settings that affect what you’re able to see. Even if you think you’re monitoring your child, you may only be seeing a fraction of the things she does online.

If you still think that your preteen is mature and trustworthy enough to have a Facebook account without getting into trouble, the decision is up to you. Be warned, however, that your child could find all of her hard work tossed to the wayside if Facebook administrators discover that she’s maintaining an account before she’s reached the age limit set in the terms of use and decide to delete the account.

Source:  Babysitting Jobs

Need a great alternative to Facebook for tweens?  Check out Yoursphere!  It is designed for that age group where safety for your child is their priority!

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Teens Oversharing - How will it effect their future?

Talk to your teens, what they send today....

Is your teenager sharing too much of their information online?

In a recent survey on TeenVogue.com, 94 percent of readers polled said that teenagers should be more concerned about privacy on the Internet.

Social networking sites, such as Facebook, has become a go-to site for college recruiters as well as employers.  Does your teen know the consequences of posting their party pictures, or language they should only be using privately (if using at all)?

Do you recall a recent Examiner article, Employers now asking for your Facebook link when applying for a job?

Although it can be nearly impossible to control or monitor everything our teens do, it is imperative you stress the importance of the lasting effects that an innocent photo or a questionable action that is posted on your Facebook page can result in - years from now.

Many kids are not able to grasp that two to five years from now is really not a long time.  Like many kids, it seems like forever - so why not post these cool things they are doing.  The problem is, what they consider cool, some may consider crude.

What may seem humorous to you and your friends, could be offensive to others.  Privacy is a gift, and how much you want to give is up to you.  However give with caution!

Order today!

Don't learn the lesson the hard way, "Google Bomb! The Untold Story of the $11.3M Verdict That Changed the Way We Use the Internet," a story everyone needs to read. 



Ironically when our children were young, most taught and encouraged our children to share.  Now we have to redefine sharing and give it boundaries.

Be an educated parent, you will have safer teens.


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Sue Scheff: Facebook Do's and Dont's from MomLogic

Source: MomLogic.com

Here's all you need to know, courtesy of MomLogic contributor and Internet Safety Specialist Lori Getz.

There's no doubt that manners are important. But who knew that there would be a whole new set of etiquette for online interactions? Well, there are. In part two of our Cyber Safety series, find out the do's and don'ts of Facebook.

Do: Check your privacy settings!Within Facebook, there are 3 "Settings" tabs: Account, Privacy, and Applications. These settings allow you to control everything from how your page looks to who can see what you post. Within the Privacy setting alone, there are 4 sub-categories, each with several options. It is important that you read through all of them and make appropriate decisions about who can see what!

Do not: Use friending to alienate or become "famo."A friend request is a precious thing. Do you remember walking up to a new friend on the kindergarten playground and asking him or her to be your friend? Well, welcome to the 21st century version. You don't want to use this power to alienate others, but at the same time, you only want to let people in that you know in the physical world. "Famo" refers to becoming Internet Famous. Kids love to "collect friends," whether they know them or not. The more friends you have, the more famo you are. People you meet online that you don't know face-to-face are strangers. It's just not safe to let them into your inner circle!

Do not: Use the Honesty Box to slander or defame others. The honesty box in Facebook is an application on your profile page where people can drop anonymous comments. When teens use this feature, it is usually to harass one another. That's just plain old cyber-bullying!Do: Control who sees your News Feeds.On the top menu bar of Facebook, you have 4 main options: Home, Profile, Friends, and Inbox. On the Home page, you see the News Feeds. These are status updates of what your friends are doing and thinking (much like Twitter). Make sure you know who can see these updates -- you will find this control in the Privacy setting. You wouldn't want to accidentally tell the world you are leaving town for the weekend and that your house will be empty.

Do not: Fall for Phishing scams.Phishing is the act of attempting to trick users into divulging sensitive and personal information by directing them to a fake website that collects things like usernames, passwords, credit card numbers, etc. Facebook has encountered several phishing scams where you will receive a link in your inbox directing you to a new page that looks like Facebook but requires you to log in again. DON'T DO IT! At the log-in page, the hacker is now waiting for you to type in your username and password so they can collect it. Hackers usually do this to steal your identity and break into other accounts where the username and password may be the same (such as your online banking account). If you are redirected to a page where you are asked to re-enter your username and password or any personal information, scrutinize it carefully. If you are unsure and don't need to access the page, just close the window and forget about it.

Do: Read the Terms of Service.Have you ever noticed in Facebook that it appears the ads seem to be just for you? That's because Facebook scans your posting and accesses your personal information in order to learn what you like and don't like. That way they can attach appropriate advertisers to your page. It's a great way to direct-market. Make sure you read Facebook's Terms of Service and understand their role in the content you post.

Do not: Poke incessantly -- it's annoying!I think this one is pretty straightforward. Poking is a way to let someone know you are trying to get his or her attention. But there is no message attached, just the fact that you received a poke. Can you imagine if someone sat next to you and poked you all day ... it would drive me crazy!

Do: Understand the difference between private messages and the Wall.The second option at the top of your Facebook page is Profile. This is your public Wall. Think of it like a billboard on Sunset Blvd. Everyone can see everything posted to your Wall, including passersby. If you want to send a friend a private note on Facebook, then send them a message rather than posting to their Wall. The Wall is not the right place to make plans or talk about personal things.

Do not: Use Facebook to send SPAM or chain letters.Not only are SPAM and chain letters annoying, they are usually sent to gather your personal information. A chain letter is created by one person and then sent to others. But every time you forward a chain letter, there is code in the e-mail that sends all of the e-mail addresses back to the creator of the chain letter. So don't give up your personal information or that of your friends by forwarding the e-mail. I promise you will not have bad luck for 7 years!